(no subject)
I had a nervous breakdown last night. I went for a bike ride and nearly didn't come home, there was a part when I was thinking about slamming on the brakes and going through the windshield of a car, but I figured it'd be mean to the person who owns the car.
I think the reason I just... lost it was because I talked to Cyndi yesterday. I thought that maybe we could still be friends, but apathy just isn't something I like. That conversation kind of - drove the last nail in. Any denial I had left about me and her vanished.
I don't think it was just her though, I think it was everything bad that's happened over the past few months, which has been a lot. I guess that now all I have to worry about is the lonliness, rather than all the shit that's been going on.