(no subject)
Holy shit...I just watch a show. That made me realize that im still fucking alive. The show was based on a girl that had cancer.
It just brought me back and how ive been taking everything for granted. In my age group i was 1 in 10,000 to get cancer. Talk about being the bad seed. Tell me why again im upset over boy? I need to start living for myself. And i need to be happy. Stop worrying about the past
and really just learn from it. Im just not like every other sixteen year old. And to me i should be proud of it. I should be living each day as if it were its last. Thats what i used to do. Now.....i just think of all the bad things that happened to me and that just makes me pathetic. Im going to start and try to be a better person. No more shit talking. No more gossip. Not being bitchy (yeah ill try). And to stop complaining about every shit that has happened to me. I have my true friends by my side that i would die for. And i have my family that would die for me. Thats all i need to get through my day. And i can see that im getting my faith back. I lost it there for awhile. I missed it actually. Im sick of being angry with myself and the people i love. School is coming up. And just want to get my grades up. No boys this year. Ok maybe 1 or 2. Now with the whole Gio. Yeah thats going nowhere. Lets just say he came out and said how he felt about us. Basicly he lost all feelings for me when i stopped talking to him for Ben. YEAH I KNOW IM A FUCKING IDIOT. I gave up on one of my best friends. And he still has my hat! Cant wait for sim and cass to come home. =0 Im 16 now. I need to forget about everything that happened when i was 15. Year from hell. I want to forget the ppl that werent my true friends and the people that hurt me in anyways. Im done with trying to please everyone.
And happy birthday day zero. =)
It just brought me back and how ive been taking everything for granted. In my age group i was 1 in 10,000 to get cancer. Talk about being the bad seed. Tell me why again im upset over boy? I need to start living for myself. And i need to be happy. Stop worrying about the past
and really just learn from it. Im just not like every other sixteen year old. And to me i should be proud of it. I should be living each day as if it were its last. Thats what i used to do. Now.....i just think of all the bad things that happened to me and that just makes me pathetic. Im going to start and try to be a better person. No more shit talking. No more gossip. Not being bitchy (yeah ill try). And to stop complaining about every shit that has happened to me. I have my true friends by my side that i would die for. And i have my family that would die for me. Thats all i need to get through my day. And i can see that im getting my faith back. I lost it there for awhile. I missed it actually. Im sick of being angry with myself and the people i love. School is coming up. And just want to get my grades up. No boys this year. Ok maybe 1 or 2. Now with the whole Gio. Yeah thats going nowhere. Lets just say he came out and said how he felt about us. Basicly he lost all feelings for me when i stopped talking to him for Ben. YEAH I KNOW IM A FUCKING IDIOT. I gave up on one of my best friends. And he still has my hat! Cant wait for sim and cass to come home. =0 Im 16 now. I need to forget about everything that happened when i was 15. Year from hell. I want to forget the ppl that werent my true friends and the people that hurt me in anyways. Im done with trying to please everyone.
And happy birthday day zero. =)