Get out of my dreams, get into my past (smoking, general consumption of an impulsive nature)
So in my dreams last night I remember being in a store, shopping around, and it was like a big box store like Zeller's with a similar layout as Zeller's in my hometown (Fort St. John) and Wal-mart here and I remember shopping for neon things, mostly underwear and socks and I also remember buying/ordering a package of cigarettes and turtle cheesecake like my boss makes at The Hume, only I later realized that they actually gave me apple pie and I even remember thinking "oh yeah, i guess they don't have/make turtle cheesecake since it's kind of a special thing that The Hume has" and upon walking outside I lit up a cigarette and started eating the apple pie at the same time and then this guy I used to work with came out of the store and bummed a smoke off of me so I gave him one and proceeded to give him my disappointment speech about how I hadn't smoked in so long but then there I was smoking.
Interesting.
I think it might be my subconscious touching on the concept of consumption and how I often blindly consume things, and of course also that part of me that still has residual "hey why don't you just smoke" thoughts along with the vividly painted dreams from wearing my NRT (nicotine replacement therapy) patch. That`s my thoughts on it anyway. Perhaps I should start slowing down with my consumption of things in general and just ask myself if I truly need them and don`t just impulsively think I want them....
I am already aware of the fact that often my impulses lead to feeling sad later because I do whatever it is and then once the trance of `WANT`` wears off I`m left in the same spot. I never get the joy of waiting and earning that greater goal, I just go back to the same starting point.
There`s so much wonder out there, so much magic, and it lies outside of my comfort zone which isn`t even always the most `comfortable` of spaces, just the easiest path to tread. If I want to get what I haven`t gotten before I have to do what i haven`t done before! :D
Oh yeah, and I`m *still* not smoking + will be moving on to the next (2nd) step of patches in a few days. I`d say `wish me luck``, but luck has nothing to do with it!
Interesting.
I think it might be my subconscious touching on the concept of consumption and how I often blindly consume things, and of course also that part of me that still has residual "hey why don't you just smoke" thoughts along with the vividly painted dreams from wearing my NRT (nicotine replacement therapy) patch. That`s my thoughts on it anyway. Perhaps I should start slowing down with my consumption of things in general and just ask myself if I truly need them and don`t just impulsively think I want them....
I am already aware of the fact that often my impulses lead to feeling sad later because I do whatever it is and then once the trance of `WANT`` wears off I`m left in the same spot. I never get the joy of waiting and earning that greater goal, I just go back to the same starting point.
There`s so much wonder out there, so much magic, and it lies outside of my comfort zone which isn`t even always the most `comfortable` of spaces, just the easiest path to tread. If I want to get what I haven`t gotten before I have to do what i haven`t done before! :D
Oh yeah, and I`m *still* not smoking + will be moving on to the next (2nd) step of patches in a few days. I`d say `wish me luck``, but luck has nothing to do with it!