Harry Potter: Mixed Feelings. (Slash) PG-13 [1/1]
Title: Mixed Feelings [1/1]
Fandom: Harry Potter
Rating: PG-13
Characters/Pairing(s): Pre-Harry/Draco, mentioned Severus Snape, mentioned Lucius Malfoy.
Word Count: 730.
Warnings: Angst.
Timeline/Spoilers: Spoilers for “Half Blood Prince”.
Disclaimer: Read my general disclaimer here.
Beta: None.
For: kingzgurl, who guessed Zack Addy and asked in return for some H/D, just after Dumbledore has died.
Summary: I was destined to cause destruction and heartache.
Cross-Posted: to little_dumpling.
As Snape pulls me quickly along the edge of the Forbidden Forest, I can’t help but turn my head to stare as Harry slowly climbs to his feet, on the very spot where Snape had knocked him down earlier.
Branches from prickly bushes scrape angrily against my pale skin and cloak as I turn away from the shouting dark haired boy I have grown to respect.
The painfully tight grip on my arm makes me wonder if Snape hates me for not being able to do my duty for the Dark Lord.
And I wonder if Harry also hates me, for the role I had played tonight.
I don’t suppose I could blame Harry for hating me; even as the Dark Lord was marking me I hated myself. But how could I explain it to him? How could I explain that tonight’s events were destined since before my own birth?
I was destined to cause destruction and heartache.
For me, reality began to creep into my life on the summer of my 6th birthday, when my father came into the nursery and gave me my first toy wand.
“One day Draco,” he had smiled distantly, “You will have your own wand and we will serve my Master together. We will rid our world of all imperfections, and through its destruction we will revel in the glory of the Dark Lord’s kingdom.”
His words shook me deeply. As a child, I’d always been rather afraid of my parents. Being raised by a tender and sweet nanny had given me a soft disposition, and when my father had left the room, I had sobbed fearfully into my nanny’s bosom.
She had rocked me silently. She could say nothing to comfort me, for she knew better than I what was to become of me.
That I myself did not have to kill the old man was a blessing, but I know I shall be punished for not finishing the deed myself. Not that I could have. I could no sooner honour my parent’s love of the dark arts.
Not that I didn’t try. As afraid as I’ve always been of my parents, I respected them too much not to try to duplicate their passion for evil.
But in the end I was unable to complete the unbearable task; something that I will have mixed feelings about for the rest of my life.
So now all I can do is run; Severus’ hand clenched tightly around my arm, hoping and praying that Harry will not hate me as I fear. Even though Harry is my enemy, over the years, an affection borne between us - a familiarity for the other and a love of contention fuelling our distant friendship.
And as I run from the scene of an old man’s death, all I can do is hope that the damage done to our burgeoning friendship is not irreparable.
< …/ficlet… >
Fandom: Harry Potter
Rating: PG-13
Characters/Pairing(s): Pre-Harry/Draco, mentioned Severus Snape, mentioned Lucius Malfoy.
Word Count: 730.
Warnings: Angst.
Timeline/Spoilers: Spoilers for “Half Blood Prince”.
Disclaimer: Read my general disclaimer here.
Beta: None.
For: kingzgurl, who guessed Zack Addy and asked in return for some H/D, just after Dumbledore has died.
Summary: I was destined to cause destruction and heartache.
Cross-Posted: to little_dumpling.
As Snape pulls me quickly along the edge of the Forbidden Forest, I can’t help but turn my head to stare as Harry slowly climbs to his feet, on the very spot where Snape had knocked him down earlier.
Branches from prickly bushes scrape angrily against my pale skin and cloak as I turn away from the shouting dark haired boy I have grown to respect.
The painfully tight grip on my arm makes me wonder if Snape hates me for not being able to do my duty for the Dark Lord.
And I wonder if Harry also hates me, for the role I had played tonight.
I don’t suppose I could blame Harry for hating me; even as the Dark Lord was marking me I hated myself. But how could I explain it to him? How could I explain that tonight’s events were destined since before my own birth?
I was destined to cause destruction and heartache.
For me, reality began to creep into my life on the summer of my 6th birthday, when my father came into the nursery and gave me my first toy wand.
“One day Draco,” he had smiled distantly, “You will have your own wand and we will serve my Master together. We will rid our world of all imperfections, and through its destruction we will revel in the glory of the Dark Lord’s kingdom.”
His words shook me deeply. As a child, I’d always been rather afraid of my parents. Being raised by a tender and sweet nanny had given me a soft disposition, and when my father had left the room, I had sobbed fearfully into my nanny’s bosom.
She had rocked me silently. She could say nothing to comfort me, for she knew better than I what was to become of me.
That I myself did not have to kill the old man was a blessing, but I know I shall be punished for not finishing the deed myself. Not that I could have. I could no sooner honour my parent’s love of the dark arts.
Not that I didn’t try. As afraid as I’ve always been of my parents, I respected them too much not to try to duplicate their passion for evil.
But in the end I was unable to complete the unbearable task; something that I will have mixed feelings about for the rest of my life.
So now all I can do is run; Severus’ hand clenched tightly around my arm, hoping and praying that Harry will not hate me as I fear. Even though Harry is my enemy, over the years, an affection borne between us - a familiarity for the other and a love of contention fuelling our distant friendship.
And as I run from the scene of an old man’s death, all I can do is hope that the damage done to our burgeoning friendship is not irreparable.
< …/ficlet… >