You ask it of me; how can I but obey?
I'm home again, so guess what I'm doing?
That's right, I'm watching the gay channel.
I think of it as one of my guilty pleasures because I'm not entirely how I feel about the existence of a gay channel and the things it shows, but I can't stop watching it.
I find it absurdly fitting that the song that beats out Shakira's "Hips Don't Lie" for top music video of the week is a Rufus Wainwright song from the Brokeback Mountain soundtrack. Rufus seems to be the only song in there for LGBT reasons, even though they're supposed to be the top LGBT videos of the week. I guess the others are just in there for the pretty people. Well, they are pretty.
Songs and videos I am collecting from this week's NewNowNext:
"Sonido Total," The Pinker Tones
"Put Your Records On," Corinne Bailey Rae
"Is It Any Wonder," Keane
"Lola," Elefant
"Neighborhood #1," Arcade Fire
"Superstar Domestic," Glovebox
"Single," Natasha Bedingfield
"Unwritten," Natasha Bedingfield (this one was a top ten, not an N^3, but I liked it)
"Cash Machine," Hard-Fi
"Rooftops (A Liberation Broadcast)," Lostprophets
I watched a movie about a gay Canadian kid who wanted to take his boyfriend to his Catholic school's prom. Yeah, it wasn't that deep, but it was cute. On the one hand, I feel like I should be outraged by the trivialization of the issues and the cookie-cutter portrayal of good-gay vs evil-church...but on the other hand, straight people have a million cute, shallow movies about them. Why shouldn't we get a couple--do we always have to be on fucking political display? The movie also had Scott Thompson in it, which was really funny. I tried to tell Piper but I couldn't remember his name.
Haha, now they're playing the video for Dragostea Din Tei. I'm just waiting for one of those kids to get diced in the propeller blades. It's a good song though.
I think what I like the best about this channel is that there's all this stuff in between the actual shows, short films that I will never see anywhere else, profiles of random or famous lesbian and gay people. Like over winter break, I watched a little film with these eight-year-old girls trading all this queer theory with the air of world-weary feminists and it was hilarious and wonderful. And after the prom movie, there was an adorable little German film about these two women who fell in love as teenagers but one of them ran off to Paris and then they find each other in a salon like sixty years later and it's soo sweet.
They've got this new dating show for gay and lesbian couples that I'm seeing ads for too. And regular-length movies that I'll probably never find again, TV shows, miniseries, documentaries, interviews, little newsclips. It's great. Sometimes they play crap, and sometimes they play things that make no sense, but on the whole, it's a good deal. Remind me to watch "The Broken Hearts Club" on the 11th because it has Zach Braff in it.
In other news, I may have been sucked into the hole that is Second Life. It is a lot of fun to play with the avatars because they are so customizable. Slap me if I get myself a furry avatar and start yiffing on bar tables for money, mmkay?
No, lady, when your five-year-old says you're fat, it is because there is something fucking wrong with this country. Sorry. Trimspa ad that's been bothering me lately. There's another one where the woman says "I was so overweight and I was so embarrassed but I lost 27 pounds on Hydroxycut and now I feel great!" and they show the before and after pictures and there is no fucking difference! And she is so not overweight in the first picture it is not funny. Honestly people. Get a life.
I went with my family to see the largest Buddha in North America today. It's 37 feet tall, in an 84-foot temple that was built around it. The monks were giving an evening service while we were there. It was nice. I blew bubbles. What was a little disturbing were the 10,000 tiny Buddhas arranged in an amphitheatre around the big Buddha. It kind of made me miss church, and rituals in high school. It's a shame the pagan group at school seems to have disbanded. The temple was nice, it was beautiful and peaceful, but it didn't really speak to me like it obviously did my mother. I get Buddhism, but it's not really for me.
My mom and my dad and my brother were wearing pants, and Evelyn and I were wearing shorts, and Mom started going on about how we wouldn't be able to wear shorts in the temple and asked Evelyn to go back for skirts. And I was fully prepared for a fight about it because I was not going to wear a skirt, and if I was going to have to wear one then I would not go in. Because, sure, I'll wear a skirt sometimes, and I'm genderqueer not hardcore FtM, but it's totally different. It is possible to rape a prostitute. Thankfully Evelyn came back wearing a skirt and carrying a pair of my brother's pants for me, and I didn't end up needing them anyway. Now that I think about it, John went back to the house with her. I wonder if he asked for the pants for me. I love my brother.
We went to my brother's girlfriend's house for dinner after I woke up again yesterday. It's a 45-minute drive to Evelyn's house, so I was kind of expecting that we would get there, they would throw some burgers and hotdogs on the grill, and we'd be eating in like twenty minutes. Instead, we were there for twenty minutes on the porch with drinks, and then Mom and Dad and Eveyln's dad went out on their boat, and when they came back Evelyn and John went out in the boat, and then it was another twenty minutes before we ate. It was good...but it was just a barbecue, it shouldn't have taken that long.
Liz called during dinner and I had to tell her we were still there and still eating. I called her back before dessert but she didn't answer. I debated for the half hour it took to finish dinner whether or not I should call back, because I wanted to talk to her but I thought she might be busy by then or not want to talk to me anymore and I'm terrible on the phone anyway. But I called, a small victory over my fears. I blew bubbles and had some honey. Then she called back after dessert and we talked for awhile. It was nice. :) Then I had to leave abruptly because we were leaving and I needed to thank Evelyn's parents for dinner. I'm still terrible on the phone. Then I wanted to talk to her more online when we got back but I was sent to bed instead.
Speaking of fears, I ran across a tarot reading I did for myself in August, and I was really quite impressed by its accuracy. I mean, it does have a huge chunk of time to use for it, but still. Some of it's happened, some of it I'm still working on.
The food of dessert was good, but by the time we were eating it the bugs were out. These nasty little green bugs that didn't bite but blundered into everything. One drowned in my ice cream, another drowned in my glass, and I don't even know how many got into the fondue. Blech. There was an amusing interlude while my brother watched a spider inch its way across the ceiling and declined to warn my mother about it (she hates spiders) until my dad noticed it coming down on a thread. Evelyn's mother got it with a broom.
I finished The Well of Loneliness at the house. It was heartbreakingly sad. Now I'm reading Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrel. I'm switching with my mom because she wants to read The Well of Loneliness. It's pretty darn good so far, in that cheeky reconstruction-of-a-bygone-style-of-English-writing way.
There's this song I'm really into lately, "Virginia" by Tori Amos. I have no idea what it's about, but it's beautiful. Liz suggests it's about a murder, and/or a prostitute. I still love, love, love Taylor Mali, more every time I listen to him. And now I have all these new people to track down, thanks to Logo. :P
So Chole knows I'm still in love with Liz. I guess it's that obvious? Now I really wonder how that came up.
And, lol, it's started today. I took a shower this morning, looked at my legs, and opted not to shave them after all. We'll see how long I keep the rest of it up now that the dam has cracked.
Colles is weird.
KeeCollie: KeeCollie: lol, I need a haircut.
tsaxxyman: noooo
tsaxxyman: let ur hair grow out
tsaxxyman: and u can get it cornrowed with mine in the end of the summer
tsaxxyman: before this year is over im gonna make u black
tsaxxyman: ur my ghetto project this year
I'm working on another spoken poem. I have the beginning and the end, but I don't have a middle.
I finished my drawing of Kaitlyn and Liz, but the scanner doesn't interface with the computer properly anymore and those damned frameworks are ruining it. And half the atmosphere of the drawing is the yellow paper, and I shaded it really heavily to make up for the pen lines so it would be difficult to erase the pen digitally without also erasing the shading, which I'll never be able to get back with a computer. And it's just too bad, because I really love this drawing.
It's 3:34 in the morning, and the movie that's on now isn't really grabbing me. Liz went to bed an hour ago but I was finally in the writing mood, so Pipe, here's your long entry, a couple hours late. Actually I was in the mood for something else but it turned into writing instead. And now that I've poured out everything in my brain, I simply must sleep.
That's right, I'm watching the gay channel.
I think of it as one of my guilty pleasures because I'm not entirely how I feel about the existence of a gay channel and the things it shows, but I can't stop watching it.
I find it absurdly fitting that the song that beats out Shakira's "Hips Don't Lie" for top music video of the week is a Rufus Wainwright song from the Brokeback Mountain soundtrack. Rufus seems to be the only song in there for LGBT reasons, even though they're supposed to be the top LGBT videos of the week. I guess the others are just in there for the pretty people. Well, they are pretty.
Songs and videos I am collecting from this week's NewNowNext:
"Sonido Total," The Pinker Tones
"Put Your Records On," Corinne Bailey Rae
"Is It Any Wonder," Keane
"Lola," Elefant
"Neighborhood #1," Arcade Fire
"Superstar Domestic," Glovebox
"Single," Natasha Bedingfield
"Unwritten," Natasha Bedingfield (this one was a top ten, not an N^3, but I liked it)
"Cash Machine," Hard-Fi
"Rooftops (A Liberation Broadcast)," Lostprophets
I watched a movie about a gay Canadian kid who wanted to take his boyfriend to his Catholic school's prom. Yeah, it wasn't that deep, but it was cute. On the one hand, I feel like I should be outraged by the trivialization of the issues and the cookie-cutter portrayal of good-gay vs evil-church...but on the other hand, straight people have a million cute, shallow movies about them. Why shouldn't we get a couple--do we always have to be on fucking political display? The movie also had Scott Thompson in it, which was really funny. I tried to tell Piper but I couldn't remember his name.
Haha, now they're playing the video for Dragostea Din Tei. I'm just waiting for one of those kids to get diced in the propeller blades. It's a good song though.
I think what I like the best about this channel is that there's all this stuff in between the actual shows, short films that I will never see anywhere else, profiles of random or famous lesbian and gay people. Like over winter break, I watched a little film with these eight-year-old girls trading all this queer theory with the air of world-weary feminists and it was hilarious and wonderful. And after the prom movie, there was an adorable little German film about these two women who fell in love as teenagers but one of them ran off to Paris and then they find each other in a salon like sixty years later and it's soo sweet.
They've got this new dating show for gay and lesbian couples that I'm seeing ads for too. And regular-length movies that I'll probably never find again, TV shows, miniseries, documentaries, interviews, little newsclips. It's great. Sometimes they play crap, and sometimes they play things that make no sense, but on the whole, it's a good deal. Remind me to watch "The Broken Hearts Club" on the 11th because it has Zach Braff in it.
In other news, I may have been sucked into the hole that is Second Life. It is a lot of fun to play with the avatars because they are so customizable. Slap me if I get myself a furry avatar and start yiffing on bar tables for money, mmkay?
No, lady, when your five-year-old says you're fat, it is because there is something fucking wrong with this country. Sorry. Trimspa ad that's been bothering me lately. There's another one where the woman says "I was so overweight and I was so embarrassed but I lost 27 pounds on Hydroxycut and now I feel great!" and they show the before and after pictures and there is no fucking difference! And she is so not overweight in the first picture it is not funny. Honestly people. Get a life.
I went with my family to see the largest Buddha in North America today. It's 37 feet tall, in an 84-foot temple that was built around it. The monks were giving an evening service while we were there. It was nice. I blew bubbles. What was a little disturbing were the 10,000 tiny Buddhas arranged in an amphitheatre around the big Buddha. It kind of made me miss church, and rituals in high school. It's a shame the pagan group at school seems to have disbanded. The temple was nice, it was beautiful and peaceful, but it didn't really speak to me like it obviously did my mother. I get Buddhism, but it's not really for me.
My mom and my dad and my brother were wearing pants, and Evelyn and I were wearing shorts, and Mom started going on about how we wouldn't be able to wear shorts in the temple and asked Evelyn to go back for skirts. And I was fully prepared for a fight about it because I was not going to wear a skirt, and if I was going to have to wear one then I would not go in. Because, sure, I'll wear a skirt sometimes, and I'm genderqueer not hardcore FtM, but it's totally different. It is possible to rape a prostitute. Thankfully Evelyn came back wearing a skirt and carrying a pair of my brother's pants for me, and I didn't end up needing them anyway. Now that I think about it, John went back to the house with her. I wonder if he asked for the pants for me. I love my brother.
We went to my brother's girlfriend's house for dinner after I woke up again yesterday. It's a 45-minute drive to Evelyn's house, so I was kind of expecting that we would get there, they would throw some burgers and hotdogs on the grill, and we'd be eating in like twenty minutes. Instead, we were there for twenty minutes on the porch with drinks, and then Mom and Dad and Eveyln's dad went out on their boat, and when they came back Evelyn and John went out in the boat, and then it was another twenty minutes before we ate. It was good...but it was just a barbecue, it shouldn't have taken that long.
Liz called during dinner and I had to tell her we were still there and still eating. I called her back before dessert but she didn't answer. I debated for the half hour it took to finish dinner whether or not I should call back, because I wanted to talk to her but I thought she might be busy by then or not want to talk to me anymore and I'm terrible on the phone anyway. But I called, a small victory over my fears. I blew bubbles and had some honey. Then she called back after dessert and we talked for awhile. It was nice. :) Then I had to leave abruptly because we were leaving and I needed to thank Evelyn's parents for dinner. I'm still terrible on the phone. Then I wanted to talk to her more online when we got back but I was sent to bed instead.
Speaking of fears, I ran across a tarot reading I did for myself in August, and I was really quite impressed by its accuracy. I mean, it does have a huge chunk of time to use for it, but still. Some of it's happened, some of it I'm still working on.
The food of dessert was good, but by the time we were eating it the bugs were out. These nasty little green bugs that didn't bite but blundered into everything. One drowned in my ice cream, another drowned in my glass, and I don't even know how many got into the fondue. Blech. There was an amusing interlude while my brother watched a spider inch its way across the ceiling and declined to warn my mother about it (she hates spiders) until my dad noticed it coming down on a thread. Evelyn's mother got it with a broom.
I finished The Well of Loneliness at the house. It was heartbreakingly sad. Now I'm reading Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrel. I'm switching with my mom because she wants to read The Well of Loneliness. It's pretty darn good so far, in that cheeky reconstruction-of-a-bygone-style-of-English-writing way.
There's this song I'm really into lately, "Virginia" by Tori Amos. I have no idea what it's about, but it's beautiful. Liz suggests it's about a murder, and/or a prostitute. I still love, love, love Taylor Mali, more every time I listen to him. And now I have all these new people to track down, thanks to Logo. :P
So Chole knows I'm still in love with Liz. I guess it's that obvious? Now I really wonder how that came up.
And, lol, it's started today. I took a shower this morning, looked at my legs, and opted not to shave them after all. We'll see how long I keep the rest of it up now that the dam has cracked.
Colles is weird.
KeeCollie: KeeCollie: lol, I need a haircut.
tsaxxyman: noooo
tsaxxyman: let ur hair grow out
tsaxxyman: and u can get it cornrowed with mine in the end of the summer
tsaxxyman: before this year is over im gonna make u black
tsaxxyman: ur my ghetto project this year
I'm working on another spoken poem. I have the beginning and the end, but I don't have a middle.
I finished my drawing of Kaitlyn and Liz, but the scanner doesn't interface with the computer properly anymore and those damned frameworks are ruining it. And half the atmosphere of the drawing is the yellow paper, and I shaded it really heavily to make up for the pen lines so it would be difficult to erase the pen digitally without also erasing the shading, which I'll never be able to get back with a computer. And it's just too bad, because I really love this drawing.
It's 3:34 in the morning, and the movie that's on now isn't really grabbing me. Liz went to bed an hour ago but I was finally in the writing mood, so Pipe, here's your long entry, a couple hours late. Actually I was in the mood for something else but it turned into writing instead. And now that I've poured out everything in my brain, I simply must sleep.