I've finally found a love to share my secrets with
Liz sent me a link to some song lyrics just now, and I just noticed that the title of the page is in the font "Dauphin."
I used to write exclusively in Dauphin. I just had a little middle school nostalgia moment and thought I'd share.
Too bad I deleted all of that because ""robin"" wrote it.
Feh.
We were listening to Dar Williams in the car near the end of the trip and the second song on the CD is "I'll Miss You til I Meet You." I used to listen to that song every night after she stopped talking to me. I turned it into a sort of prayer that she would find the men she was looking for and forget about me. Then I stopped listening to it for a long time. It was a little bit of a shock to hear it again. The song is exactly how she used to talk about Allen. She's been there for a year; I wonder if anyone's shown up yet.
My dad played me "(Men Succeed Where Women Are) Sluts" (by Jeanne Marie Spicuzza I discover with Google) today while we were packing up. My dad surprises me sometimes. It's a great piece. I need to find more slam people.
I also need a new computer. My computer is trash and I am sick of packing, unpacking, and transporting the damn thing every year. My whole family's going Mac. At the end of winter break, I was going to get a Powerbook, a very large monitor, and a tablet. I didn't. Now my brother has a Macbook, which I haven't really looked at. It's better, but it's more expensive, so if I got the Macbook I would probably not get the monitor. I need to decide whether it's worth it and just get something already.
The house is in shambles. It doesn't really aussage my feeling of unreality. I'll need to get up relatively early (not so early in terms of school, wayyy early in terms of home) because there will be people painting the upstairs hallway and they'll need to paint the jamb of my door, and I'm not quite the exhibitionist that I really need random painters coming in on me naked. Although I didn't really have any problems when Lauren and Julie and then Chris were looking at those pictures. I'm not even sure what pictures those are...that might have had something to do with it.
I mean, hey. I'd never seen Julie before in my life, will probably never see her again, I definitely won't see Lauren again anytime soon, and Chris would probably have seen me naked eventually.
I think if Friday night hadn't gotten all unhappy there I might have had something to drink then. I was definitely toying with the idea. I'm not sure if I'm relieved or disappointed.
Shadow's asleep under the desk next to me. My poor baby.
It's funny, I'll write to no end if there's no one forcing me to do it. She used to be horribly disappointed and angry if I didn't write when I wasn't here to talk to her, but she would usually get horribly disappointed and angry with what I wrote anyway. I think it was her way of making sure that I wasn't having fun without her even by accident more than anything. I look back on some of the things I wrote and I can hardly see me in those pages. She twisted me into the scared little girl she despised.
Well...screw you.
I don't know. I guess I identify with Stephen a little bit. Kindred spirits, in a sense. Stephen's fallen in love with a straight girl, who also happens to be a bitch, but Stephen loves her just the same and won't give her any blame for this fucked-up relationship. Yeah.
Although I kind of resent the way Stephen is always being characterized, as some "queer" "creature" that isn't quite right, somehow "grotesque" even in her beauty, but somehow beautiful even in her not-right-ness, like the ugly puppy that captures your heart. And characterized this way by the author, not just in the point of view of the "normal" characters that surround her. It bothers me intensely sometimes, but I'm not really sure why.
I wish I would write things down with more consistency. I thought of some nice phrases in the car and maybe even had bits of a poem-song going but I didn't write them down and I've probably lost them.
Still can't get you out of my head--not that I'm really trying--and I miss you.
I believe I'm rambling. I should probably desist. I'm sure I'll just start another entry later.
I used to write exclusively in Dauphin. I just had a little middle school nostalgia moment and thought I'd share.
Too bad I deleted all of that because ""robin"" wrote it.
Feh.
We were listening to Dar Williams in the car near the end of the trip and the second song on the CD is "I'll Miss You til I Meet You." I used to listen to that song every night after she stopped talking to me. I turned it into a sort of prayer that she would find the men she was looking for and forget about me. Then I stopped listening to it for a long time. It was a little bit of a shock to hear it again. The song is exactly how she used to talk about Allen. She's been there for a year; I wonder if anyone's shown up yet.
My dad played me "(Men Succeed Where Women Are) Sluts" (by Jeanne Marie Spicuzza I discover with Google) today while we were packing up. My dad surprises me sometimes. It's a great piece. I need to find more slam people.
I also need a new computer. My computer is trash and I am sick of packing, unpacking, and transporting the damn thing every year. My whole family's going Mac. At the end of winter break, I was going to get a Powerbook, a very large monitor, and a tablet. I didn't. Now my brother has a Macbook, which I haven't really looked at. It's better, but it's more expensive, so if I got the Macbook I would probably not get the monitor. I need to decide whether it's worth it and just get something already.
The house is in shambles. It doesn't really aussage my feeling of unreality. I'll need to get up relatively early (not so early in terms of school, wayyy early in terms of home) because there will be people painting the upstairs hallway and they'll need to paint the jamb of my door, and I'm not quite the exhibitionist that I really need random painters coming in on me naked. Although I didn't really have any problems when Lauren and Julie and then Chris were looking at those pictures. I'm not even sure what pictures those are...that might have had something to do with it.
I mean, hey. I'd never seen Julie before in my life, will probably never see her again, I definitely won't see Lauren again anytime soon, and Chris would probably have seen me naked eventually.
I think if Friday night hadn't gotten all unhappy there I might have had something to drink then. I was definitely toying with the idea. I'm not sure if I'm relieved or disappointed.
Shadow's asleep under the desk next to me. My poor baby.
It's funny, I'll write to no end if there's no one forcing me to do it. She used to be horribly disappointed and angry if I didn't write when I wasn't here to talk to her, but she would usually get horribly disappointed and angry with what I wrote anyway. I think it was her way of making sure that I wasn't having fun without her even by accident more than anything. I look back on some of the things I wrote and I can hardly see me in those pages. She twisted me into the scared little girl she despised.
Well...screw you.
I don't know. I guess I identify with Stephen a little bit. Kindred spirits, in a sense. Stephen's fallen in love with a straight girl, who also happens to be a bitch, but Stephen loves her just the same and won't give her any blame for this fucked-up relationship. Yeah.
Although I kind of resent the way Stephen is always being characterized, as some "queer" "creature" that isn't quite right, somehow "grotesque" even in her beauty, but somehow beautiful even in her not-right-ness, like the ugly puppy that captures your heart. And characterized this way by the author, not just in the point of view of the "normal" characters that surround her. It bothers me intensely sometimes, but I'm not really sure why.
I wish I would write things down with more consistency. I thought of some nice phrases in the car and maybe even had bits of a poem-song going but I didn't write them down and I've probably lost them.
Still can't get you out of my head--not that I'm really trying--and I miss you.
I believe I'm rambling. I should probably desist. I'm sure I'll just start another entry later.