drabbles;;
the fear (of falling apart);;
jongin/sehun // 683 words / r / angst
warning: grammar errors; mentions of violence and self-harm
→ another late night visit from sehun.
a/n: this is my jam.
jongin opens the door and is a little bit shocked about seeing sehun standing in front of him that late at night. but when he spots the swollen cheek, the red and puffy eyes and the bleeding lower lip he isn’t so shocked anymore.
“i’m sorry”, sehun mumbles, probably for coming here at this time, but jongin doesn’t mind because he always comes to him after something like that happens.
he quickly lets him in and leads him into his room, sits him down onto the bed before he looks for the first-aid kit.
sehun doesn’t say another word while jongin treats the wound on his face and tries to make himself as small as possible on the bed, not to take in too much space.
“take off your hoodie”, jongin says and he does, but hesitates a bit, then slides the dark piece of clothing over his head and jongin’s heart breaks at the sight underneath it.
sehun wears a tank top and there’s blue and purple and yellow blossoming across his pale skin everywhere. there are some bruises underneath his collar bones, scratched marks in an angry red and his arms are covered in bruises as well. most of them are already fading away, but there’s a really big and nasty looking bruise on his right upper arm that looks fresh, new. it also looks like it hurts quite a lot. tons of scars cover his upper arms, some old and almost not visible anymore; some made by sehun himself, but most of them were not his doing.
he always looks like this, it’s nothing new to see him like this, but it hurts jongin so much.
jongin gets down on his knees in front of sehun, his hands gently resting on sehun’s thighs, slowly stroking over the in jeans covered flesh in a soothing way.
the boy looks away from him, eyes fixed on the bed cloth that has the same colour as the bruises on his body, and jongin leans forward to kiss his cheek, the cheekbone, then the corner of his lips.
“what was his reason this time?”
“the neighbours saw you walking me home two days ago and told him”, he says quietly, almost whispering and then he swallows hard. it looks like he’s on the verge to crying.
“i’m sorry.”
“don’t be. he would have done it anyways.”
this doesn’t really comfort him one bit, but it’s true. yeah, he would have done it anyways, because he always finds reasons to beat him up.
because sehun’s father blames him for everything; for his mother leaving them when sehun was nothing but a small child, for ruining his life with his existence, for not being able to find himself a job because he’s an alcoholic. he hates sehun for everything he is and for everything he does; for his slowly slipping grades, for being attracted to boys, for staying over at jongin’s place when everything gets too much, for not buying him alcohol, for searching for happiness.
sehun gives him a small, sad smile and jongin feels like crying too.
he leans forward once more, presses their lips together. sehun kisses back like his life depends on it and whines when jongin runs his tongue over the cut on his lip, before slipping it into his mouth.
they kiss and kiss and kiss and jongin presses sehun onto the bed, carefully, because there are huge bruises on his back as well, after removing his tank. his lips wander from sehun’s mouth to his neck, gently kissing and sucking, he caresses every bruise with feather light kisses, his fingers softly dancing across the usually white skin.
a needy moan slips past sehun’s lips and unshed tears cling on his eyelashes. “love me, jongin. please”, he whispers, body arching against jongin’s careful touches.
jongin kisses him again, breathes against sehun’s lips, “i love you, sehun. i love you. i love you.”
he means it, it’s the truth.
sehun sobs, loud and ugly and heart-wrenchingly and tugs at jongin’s shirt, pulling him close to bury his face in his neck.
come on, get higher;;
jongin/sehun // 705 words / pg-13 / romance
warning: grammar errors
→ they're on the run.
there are those moments where everything feels like some kind of road trip, not like they’re on the run trying to get away as fast as possible.
they fucked up.
pretty bad.
and now they have to escape, so those guys won’t get them. it would be their end.
it’s exhausting, the situation is terrible but jongin tries to make the best out of it. somehow. even though it’s not easy.
the first thing they did was to dye their hair from dark to light, so people won’t immediately recognize them at gas stations or when they quickly buy food at some shop; or if the police shows up and stops them on the road. jongin’s dark brown hair is now a strange shade of dirty grey-blonde and sehun’s is pinkish blonde.
he always wanted to change his hair and it’s a little ironic that he finally could do it due to these circumstances.
they also threw their phones away, because they couldn’t charge them anyway since they avoid staying at motels for the sake of getting away faster. it’s better that way, because no one else would get in trouble.
jongin feels a bit guilty, because baekhyun and yixing and jongdae are probably worried sick about them, seeing their photos in the news everywhere, hearing that the police searches for them and not being able to reach them after knowing that must be horrible.
but yeah, it’s better like this.
the only one who knows something, anything about them, about what really happened is kyungsoo, but jongin isn’t worried. no matter what they try, kyungsoo would never betray them, he would never tell someone about what he knows. kyungsoo is good at hiding the truth with his innocent acting, at getting people to believe everything he says. kyungsoo will be fine, jongin knows it.
it’s in the middle of the night and the road is empty and it’s hot, so jongin opens every window in the car and sighs when the cool wind blows through his hair, messes it up and throws the strands around. he turns the radio loud, louder, really loud, because it’s playing an acdc song and it somehow lifts his mood up.
so he sings along with the song; at least the lines he knows.
“sing with me!”, he yells and looks to the side to see sehun rolling his eyes.
“come on, sehun!”
he nudges sehun’s knee with his hand and he can’t hear it, but he sees him chuckle because of that.
jongin sings even louder, totally off-key and horrible, but this time sehun does it as well. they really suck at singing and jongin grins and sehun laughs. a second he’s left breathless, because the laugh is so bright and happy and it feels like it’s been ages since he last heard him laugh like this, but it’s been just a week.
ignoring that he’s the one behind the wheel jongin leans over to sehun, hand sliding to his neck, and pulls him close, presses their lips together.
“watch out”, sehun screeches against his mouth and jongin quickly turns his attention back to the road before they cause an accident.
after a minute they both laugh again.
they stop at the side of the road later and fuck in the backseat. it’s fast and hot and messy, adrenaline still pumping through their veins, because the tension never leaves their bodies, it’s always there.
these are those moments where everything feels like they’re just normal teenagers, lovers on a trip, not on the run to save their lives. those moments where jongin stops thinking about what will happen if they run out of money, because they don’t have that much left anymore and if they could ever start a new life somewhere else, if they can go back home one day or if they’ll just try to escape only to be found by those guys one day, how long they can try to get away.
those moments of not thinking are always too short.
“i’m sorry”, sehun whispers.
he looks small and sad underneath him and jongin cups his cheek, caresses the soft skin gently.
“it’s not your fault, sehunnie. we’ll find a way out of this again.”
i like it;;
jongin/sehun // 526 / g / fluff
warning: grammar errors
→ jongin dyes his hair.
a/n: wanted to write this for a while; and brathun is dumb.
sehun looks up briefly when someone enters his room without knocking.
there’s only one person who does that and when he sees jongin, he turns his gaze back to the magazine in his hands.
“yoh”, jongin says.
“hey.”
his bed dips a bit under jongin’s weight. “your mum told me that dinner’s ready in half an hour”, he says and pecks sehun’s cheek, but sehun still continues to flip through his magazine.
“mhm.”
he starts to read an article about those really expensive cars no one could ever afford to buy when his eyes unintentionally fall back to jongin and he watches him taking off his beanie and hoodie, running a hand through his hair.
being that good-looking shouldn’t be allowed.
he looks back to the magazine and searches for the line where he stopped reading.
but, wait-
he looks back at the other and something’s different about him, something changed. he looks him over and there’s something there that wasn’t when he left sehun’s house this morning.
“what the fuck happened to your hair?”
jongin looks at him and then smiles sheepishly, rubs his neck.
“do you like it?”
“no. what happened?”
a disappointed glint appears in jongin’s eyes for a second. “lost a bet against luhan and chanyeol.”
sehun tugs on the black tank jongin’s wearing and pulls him close, almost on top of him and presses his face into the newly dyed, now dirty blonde hair. he inhales and it smells like hair dye and expensive hair products mixed with some fruity scent.
jongin leans back, putting a little space between them.
“do you really dislike it?”
“yes, dye it back.”
“you know i can’t just dye it back. it would look horrible”, jongin says and yeah, sehun knows because he dyes his hair all the time and already got many interesting hair colours because he was too inpatient to wait a bit before dyeing it again.
suddenly jongin starts grinning.
“you like it, don’t you?”
sehun looks away. “not a bit.”
“you do.” jongin skids closer, still grinning.
“it’s strange”, sehun says and suddenly he’s flustered. “i’m used to you being the dark one and me being the light one, you know?”
jongin throws his head to the side with a questioning look on his face.
“this ‘you always wear black and blue, the dark stuff and i wear grey and light clothes. tan skin and paler skin. you with dark brown hair while i have blonde hair’ thing. i like how we always look like exact opposites and everyone notices us because of that”, he says and already feels the heat painting his cheeks red.
he looks at his boyfriend, who smiles at him, before pinching his cheeks and squishing them together with his hands.
“stop it”, he grumbles.
“you’re so cute!”
sehun rolls his eyes, because he should have never said that to him. he probably won’t shut up about this ever again.
“but you still like it.”
it’s not a question.
sehun sighs, “yeah.”
jongin smiles at him, satisfied and sehun runs his fingers through the blonde locks, lightly tugging at the dyed strands.
“you’ll get used to it~”
jongin/sehun // 683 words / r / angst
warning: grammar errors; mentions of violence and self-harm
→ another late night visit from sehun.
a/n: this is my jam.
jongin opens the door and is a little bit shocked about seeing sehun standing in front of him that late at night. but when he spots the swollen cheek, the red and puffy eyes and the bleeding lower lip he isn’t so shocked anymore.
“i’m sorry”, sehun mumbles, probably for coming here at this time, but jongin doesn’t mind because he always comes to him after something like that happens.
he quickly lets him in and leads him into his room, sits him down onto the bed before he looks for the first-aid kit.
sehun doesn’t say another word while jongin treats the wound on his face and tries to make himself as small as possible on the bed, not to take in too much space.
“take off your hoodie”, jongin says and he does, but hesitates a bit, then slides the dark piece of clothing over his head and jongin’s heart breaks at the sight underneath it.
sehun wears a tank top and there’s blue and purple and yellow blossoming across his pale skin everywhere. there are some bruises underneath his collar bones, scratched marks in an angry red and his arms are covered in bruises as well. most of them are already fading away, but there’s a really big and nasty looking bruise on his right upper arm that looks fresh, new. it also looks like it hurts quite a lot. tons of scars cover his upper arms, some old and almost not visible anymore; some made by sehun himself, but most of them were not his doing.
he always looks like this, it’s nothing new to see him like this, but it hurts jongin so much.
jongin gets down on his knees in front of sehun, his hands gently resting on sehun’s thighs, slowly stroking over the in jeans covered flesh in a soothing way.
the boy looks away from him, eyes fixed on the bed cloth that has the same colour as the bruises on his body, and jongin leans forward to kiss his cheek, the cheekbone, then the corner of his lips.
“what was his reason this time?”
“the neighbours saw you walking me home two days ago and told him”, he says quietly, almost whispering and then he swallows hard. it looks like he’s on the verge to crying.
“i’m sorry.”
“don’t be. he would have done it anyways.”
this doesn’t really comfort him one bit, but it’s true. yeah, he would have done it anyways, because he always finds reasons to beat him up.
because sehun’s father blames him for everything; for his mother leaving them when sehun was nothing but a small child, for ruining his life with his existence, for not being able to find himself a job because he’s an alcoholic. he hates sehun for everything he is and for everything he does; for his slowly slipping grades, for being attracted to boys, for staying over at jongin’s place when everything gets too much, for not buying him alcohol, for searching for happiness.
sehun gives him a small, sad smile and jongin feels like crying too.
he leans forward once more, presses their lips together. sehun kisses back like his life depends on it and whines when jongin runs his tongue over the cut on his lip, before slipping it into his mouth.
they kiss and kiss and kiss and jongin presses sehun onto the bed, carefully, because there are huge bruises on his back as well, after removing his tank. his lips wander from sehun’s mouth to his neck, gently kissing and sucking, he caresses every bruise with feather light kisses, his fingers softly dancing across the usually white skin.
a needy moan slips past sehun’s lips and unshed tears cling on his eyelashes. “love me, jongin. please”, he whispers, body arching against jongin’s careful touches.
jongin kisses him again, breathes against sehun’s lips, “i love you, sehun. i love you. i love you.”
he means it, it’s the truth.
sehun sobs, loud and ugly and heart-wrenchingly and tugs at jongin’s shirt, pulling him close to bury his face in his neck.
come on, get higher;;
jongin/sehun // 705 words / pg-13 / romance
warning: grammar errors
→ they're on the run.
there are those moments where everything feels like some kind of road trip, not like they’re on the run trying to get away as fast as possible.
they fucked up.
pretty bad.
and now they have to escape, so those guys won’t get them. it would be their end.
it’s exhausting, the situation is terrible but jongin tries to make the best out of it. somehow. even though it’s not easy.
the first thing they did was to dye their hair from dark to light, so people won’t immediately recognize them at gas stations or when they quickly buy food at some shop; or if the police shows up and stops them on the road. jongin’s dark brown hair is now a strange shade of dirty grey-blonde and sehun’s is pinkish blonde.
he always wanted to change his hair and it’s a little ironic that he finally could do it due to these circumstances.
they also threw their phones away, because they couldn’t charge them anyway since they avoid staying at motels for the sake of getting away faster. it’s better that way, because no one else would get in trouble.
jongin feels a bit guilty, because baekhyun and yixing and jongdae are probably worried sick about them, seeing their photos in the news everywhere, hearing that the police searches for them and not being able to reach them after knowing that must be horrible.
but yeah, it’s better like this.
the only one who knows something, anything about them, about what really happened is kyungsoo, but jongin isn’t worried. no matter what they try, kyungsoo would never betray them, he would never tell someone about what he knows. kyungsoo is good at hiding the truth with his innocent acting, at getting people to believe everything he says. kyungsoo will be fine, jongin knows it.
it’s in the middle of the night and the road is empty and it’s hot, so jongin opens every window in the car and sighs when the cool wind blows through his hair, messes it up and throws the strands around. he turns the radio loud, louder, really loud, because it’s playing an acdc song and it somehow lifts his mood up.
so he sings along with the song; at least the lines he knows.
“sing with me!”, he yells and looks to the side to see sehun rolling his eyes.
“come on, sehun!”
he nudges sehun’s knee with his hand and he can’t hear it, but he sees him chuckle because of that.
jongin sings even louder, totally off-key and horrible, but this time sehun does it as well. they really suck at singing and jongin grins and sehun laughs. a second he’s left breathless, because the laugh is so bright and happy and it feels like it’s been ages since he last heard him laugh like this, but it’s been just a week.
ignoring that he’s the one behind the wheel jongin leans over to sehun, hand sliding to his neck, and pulls him close, presses their lips together.
“watch out”, sehun screeches against his mouth and jongin quickly turns his attention back to the road before they cause an accident.
after a minute they both laugh again.
they stop at the side of the road later and fuck in the backseat. it’s fast and hot and messy, adrenaline still pumping through their veins, because the tension never leaves their bodies, it’s always there.
these are those moments where everything feels like they’re just normal teenagers, lovers on a trip, not on the run to save their lives. those moments where jongin stops thinking about what will happen if they run out of money, because they don’t have that much left anymore and if they could ever start a new life somewhere else, if they can go back home one day or if they’ll just try to escape only to be found by those guys one day, how long they can try to get away.
those moments of not thinking are always too short.
“i’m sorry”, sehun whispers.
he looks small and sad underneath him and jongin cups his cheek, caresses the soft skin gently.
“it’s not your fault, sehunnie. we’ll find a way out of this again.”
i like it;;
jongin/sehun // 526 / g / fluff
warning: grammar errors
→ jongin dyes his hair.
a/n: wanted to write this for a while; and brathun is dumb.
sehun looks up briefly when someone enters his room without knocking.
there’s only one person who does that and when he sees jongin, he turns his gaze back to the magazine in his hands.
“yoh”, jongin says.
“hey.”
his bed dips a bit under jongin’s weight. “your mum told me that dinner’s ready in half an hour”, he says and pecks sehun’s cheek, but sehun still continues to flip through his magazine.
“mhm.”
he starts to read an article about those really expensive cars no one could ever afford to buy when his eyes unintentionally fall back to jongin and he watches him taking off his beanie and hoodie, running a hand through his hair.
being that good-looking shouldn’t be allowed.
he looks back to the magazine and searches for the line where he stopped reading.
but, wait-
he looks back at the other and something’s different about him, something changed. he looks him over and there’s something there that wasn’t when he left sehun’s house this morning.
“what the fuck happened to your hair?”
jongin looks at him and then smiles sheepishly, rubs his neck.
“do you like it?”
“no. what happened?”
a disappointed glint appears in jongin’s eyes for a second. “lost a bet against luhan and chanyeol.”
sehun tugs on the black tank jongin’s wearing and pulls him close, almost on top of him and presses his face into the newly dyed, now dirty blonde hair. he inhales and it smells like hair dye and expensive hair products mixed with some fruity scent.
jongin leans back, putting a little space between them.
“do you really dislike it?”
“yes, dye it back.”
“you know i can’t just dye it back. it would look horrible”, jongin says and yeah, sehun knows because he dyes his hair all the time and already got many interesting hair colours because he was too inpatient to wait a bit before dyeing it again.
suddenly jongin starts grinning.
“you like it, don’t you?”
sehun looks away. “not a bit.”
“you do.” jongin skids closer, still grinning.
“it’s strange”, sehun says and suddenly he’s flustered. “i’m used to you being the dark one and me being the light one, you know?”
jongin throws his head to the side with a questioning look on his face.
“this ‘you always wear black and blue, the dark stuff and i wear grey and light clothes. tan skin and paler skin. you with dark brown hair while i have blonde hair’ thing. i like how we always look like exact opposites and everyone notices us because of that”, he says and already feels the heat painting his cheeks red.
he looks at his boyfriend, who smiles at him, before pinching his cheeks and squishing them together with his hands.
“stop it”, he grumbles.
“you’re so cute!”
sehun rolls his eyes, because he should have never said that to him. he probably won’t shut up about this ever again.
“but you still like it.”
it’s not a question.
sehun sighs, “yeah.”
jongin smiles at him, satisfied and sehun runs his fingers through the blonde locks, lightly tugging at the dyed strands.
“you’ll get used to it~”