(no subject)
i am one messed up human being
me n brian broke up a little over a week ago or so. it was mutual and i was happy about it. our personalities were clashing and there was serious time issues on my behalf. so anyway i was glad that it ended well and there wasnt any serious heartbreak or anything. so im talkin 2 brian trying to keep communicating and he tells me he has "deep feelings" for this girl julia. now by all means go on and keep dating thats why we broke up. but "deep feelings" dont just appear overnight or in a week for that matter. it only takes simple math to see that he was interested in this girl while we were dating. i know towards the end i wasnt estatic about brian anymore but it hurts just the same. i thought there was nothing left at the end but obviously i was wrong. there was always SOMETHING or else i would have ended it alot sooner. i know i can get jealous of my exs moving forward with their love lifes but this isnt jealously at all. i cant even think of a word for what im feeling. betrayal doesnt really fit it but neither does cheating. why am i so upset about something that didnt really happen and is in the past? about an ex? im ready to move on but the problem is no one wants to move with me. while im all sad and crying i might as well go on about how i feel about the near future.
college is coming around and im getting more and more depressed. erica is moving to cali, jessica is joining the airforce, blake is joining the army. all my best friends are leaving me and it hurts so much you all just dont understand. my best friend nati moved away in 10th grade and i said distance wouldnt tear us apart. 2 years later we talk on occasion. i know the same thing will happen with everyone else but worse. after college you get a job and your just not gonna care about "that girl that you were close to in highschool". i dont wanna be forgotten. i dont wanna be remembered as "that girl". when i love i put my whole heart into it and erica, jessica, and blake you have my heart. please dont break it. please, remember me and write to me. keep in touch and visit me. love me. i need it so much you dont understand how much it hurts me to think of my future without you 3 in it.
im tired and the tears are running down my cheek, down my neck, and are now entering my shirt. imma go wash my face and try 2 cry myself to sleep. damn this depressing mood. someone plz snap me outta this. save me from myself.
~kimmy
me n brian broke up a little over a week ago or so. it was mutual and i was happy about it. our personalities were clashing and there was serious time issues on my behalf. so anyway i was glad that it ended well and there wasnt any serious heartbreak or anything. so im talkin 2 brian trying to keep communicating and he tells me he has "deep feelings" for this girl julia. now by all means go on and keep dating thats why we broke up. but "deep feelings" dont just appear overnight or in a week for that matter. it only takes simple math to see that he was interested in this girl while we were dating. i know towards the end i wasnt estatic about brian anymore but it hurts just the same. i thought there was nothing left at the end but obviously i was wrong. there was always SOMETHING or else i would have ended it alot sooner. i know i can get jealous of my exs moving forward with their love lifes but this isnt jealously at all. i cant even think of a word for what im feeling. betrayal doesnt really fit it but neither does cheating. why am i so upset about something that didnt really happen and is in the past? about an ex? im ready to move on but the problem is no one wants to move with me. while im all sad and crying i might as well go on about how i feel about the near future.
college is coming around and im getting more and more depressed. erica is moving to cali, jessica is joining the airforce, blake is joining the army. all my best friends are leaving me and it hurts so much you all just dont understand. my best friend nati moved away in 10th grade and i said distance wouldnt tear us apart. 2 years later we talk on occasion. i know the same thing will happen with everyone else but worse. after college you get a job and your just not gonna care about "that girl that you were close to in highschool". i dont wanna be forgotten. i dont wanna be remembered as "that girl". when i love i put my whole heart into it and erica, jessica, and blake you have my heart. please dont break it. please, remember me and write to me. keep in touch and visit me. love me. i need it so much you dont understand how much it hurts me to think of my future without you 3 in it.
im tired and the tears are running down my cheek, down my neck, and are now entering my shirt. imma go wash my face and try 2 cry myself to sleep. damn this depressing mood. someone plz snap me outta this. save me from myself.
~kimmy