so it's been a year... report card time!
THIS WAS MY BIRTHDAY ENTRY FROM LAST YEAR WHEN I TURNED 30. NOW THAT I'VE MADE IT TO THE BIG 3-1(!) I FIGURE IT MUST BE TIME TO RE-EVALUATE THE SITUATION.
I have been spending a lot of time thinking about turning 30 and what it means to me... and if it changes anything... and I have no answers. Instead I have started a list (shock!awe!) of things that I'd like to do or things I'd like to change... anything that i think will make me happier in the coming year than I have been in the last.
I guess this is where I'm at so far.
-- work things out with Kat. it is ridiculous for me to love someone as much as I love her & not have them in my life. AND NOW??? FUCK THAT... AND FUCK HER, FOR THAT MATTER.
-- make a better effort with everyone else I care about. pick up the phone once in a while. stop being such a loner. NOW??? EESH. SOOOOO CAUGHT ON THAT ONE! MAYBE I'M A LITTLE BIT BETTER, BUT NOT A WHOLE LOT.
-- lose 15 lbs while eating 7layer burritos, licks burgers, two-bite brownies & backdoor pasta. DONE!! GAINED A FEW BACK :( , BUT AM STILL DOWN 11.5LBS FROM THIS TIME LAST YEAR.
-- listen to more records that I ACTUALLY LIKE rather than just what is sent to me. and maybe shake my bummmm once in a while doing something other than my usual wiggle-walk. NOW???? OOOH, A BIG FAILURE. MAYBE THIS YEAR?
-- play lots with the kitty. spend time with the kids. be silly. ok ok, silly-er. TOTALLY ACCOMPLISHED, A-1 AND DONE.
-- hang out with my Mom as much as possible. hang out with Jenn as much as possible. keep pretending I don't know about Jenn & Moms secret relationship. DID PRETTY DAMN GOOD ON THIS ONE I THINK.
-- find bigger shoes, better bags & a super-hot backless shirt. HOLY CRAP, YES. DONE.
-- try not to be afraid of boys. or girls for that matter. GOT BETTER? MET SOME GREAT PEOPLE THIS YEAR THAT HELPED WITH THAT.
-- use my passport... preferably more than once. OK,OK... ONLY USED ONCE. (THE U.S DOES NOT COUNT)
-- get to vancouver & the island sometime before summer. take walks with Al & Buddy on the beach. dig toes in sand. MADE IT THERE IN AUGUST.. BUT COULDN'T FIND ALAN ANYWHERE. SAW HIM LAST WEEK, THOUGH... AND AM DETERMINED TO SEE HIM WHEN I GET THERE THIS SUMMER WITH MEG.
-- ADVENTURES and PICTURES OF SAID ADVENTURES. roadtrips, sleazy motels & smelling slightly like a gas station = perfect. DONE!
-- see many hottt shows in other places. (see 'adventures' above) NOT REALLY A LOT OF SHOWS IN OTHER PLACES, BUT ADVENTURES = YES!
-- loveletters, cheap trinkets & empty bottles of wine. CONSTANT STATE - WORKING ON EMPTYING A BOTTLE RIGHT NOW.
-- read more. now that I can. and watch movies. lots of them. preferably at the drive-in. preferably while wearing beachparty flannels & eating 'deep & delicious' chocolate cake straight from the package. DIDN'T READ ENOUGH OR SEE ENOUGH MOVIES. WORE THE FLANNELS TOO MUCH AND HAD MORE THAN MY SHARE OF CAKE THOUGH, IF THAT MAKES UP FOR IT.
I'm looking for take-part-ners. No experience necessary.
I have been spending a lot of time thinking about turning 30 and what it means to me... and if it changes anything... and I have no answers. Instead I have started a list (shock!awe!) of things that I'd like to do or things I'd like to change... anything that i think will make me happier in the coming year than I have been in the last.
I guess this is where I'm at so far.
-- work things out with Kat. it is ridiculous for me to love someone as much as I love her & not have them in my life. AND NOW??? FUCK THAT... AND FUCK HER, FOR THAT MATTER.
-- make a better effort with everyone else I care about. pick up the phone once in a while. stop being such a loner. NOW??? EESH. SOOOOO CAUGHT ON THAT ONE! MAYBE I'M A LITTLE BIT BETTER, BUT NOT A WHOLE LOT.
-- lose 15 lbs while eating 7layer burritos, licks burgers, two-bite brownies & backdoor pasta. DONE!! GAINED A FEW BACK :( , BUT AM STILL DOWN 11.5LBS FROM THIS TIME LAST YEAR.
-- listen to more records that I ACTUALLY LIKE rather than just what is sent to me. and maybe shake my bummmm once in a while doing something other than my usual wiggle-walk. NOW???? OOOH, A BIG FAILURE. MAYBE THIS YEAR?
-- play lots with the kitty. spend time with the kids. be silly. ok ok, silly-er. TOTALLY ACCOMPLISHED, A-1 AND DONE.
-- hang out with my Mom as much as possible. hang out with Jenn as much as possible. keep pretending I don't know about Jenn & Moms secret relationship. DID PRETTY DAMN GOOD ON THIS ONE I THINK.
-- find bigger shoes, better bags & a super-hot backless shirt. HOLY CRAP, YES. DONE.
-- try not to be afraid of boys. or girls for that matter. GOT BETTER? MET SOME GREAT PEOPLE THIS YEAR THAT HELPED WITH THAT.
-- use my passport... preferably more than once. OK,OK... ONLY USED ONCE. (THE U.S DOES NOT COUNT)
-- get to vancouver & the island sometime before summer. take walks with Al & Buddy on the beach. dig toes in sand. MADE IT THERE IN AUGUST.. BUT COULDN'T FIND ALAN ANYWHERE. SAW HIM LAST WEEK, THOUGH... AND AM DETERMINED TO SEE HIM WHEN I GET THERE THIS SUMMER WITH MEG.
-- ADVENTURES and PICTURES OF SAID ADVENTURES. roadtrips, sleazy motels & smelling slightly like a gas station = perfect. DONE!
-- see many hottt shows in other places. (see 'adventures' above) NOT REALLY A LOT OF SHOWS IN OTHER PLACES, BUT ADVENTURES = YES!
-- loveletters, cheap trinkets & empty bottles of wine. CONSTANT STATE - WORKING ON EMPTYING A BOTTLE RIGHT NOW.
-- read more. now that I can. and watch movies. lots of them. preferably at the drive-in. preferably while wearing beachparty flannels & eating 'deep & delicious' chocolate cake straight from the package. DIDN'T READ ENOUGH OR SEE ENOUGH MOVIES. WORE THE FLANNELS TOO MUCH AND HAD MORE THAN MY SHARE OF CAKE THOUGH, IF THAT MAKES UP FOR IT.
I'm looking for take-part-ners. No experience necessary.