Up And Down
So, I was feeling actually pretty good since my last bronch which I believe was the 15th of February. So for three weeks I was pretty good until this past Thursday, the 8th when I had my first bronch at Mary Washington in Fredericksburg, VA. It went good. Friday I was kind of grumpy and noticed breathing was harder. Usually my breathing is really great the day after a bronch. So it was pretty bad Friday, and I couldn't go to Barbara's 18th birthday party :( Happy Birthday Barbara! Now you can have sex with very old men! Legally!
I slept all day Saturday and woke up around 5:30 PM very sick. I could tell my oxygen saturation was low and my heart was racing. I didn't hear anyone else in the house and I didn't have enough air to get out of bed and stand up or even yell for anyone. Thankfully my cellphone was nearby and I called my sister Renee who was downstairs. I had her turn my oxygen up to 8 1/2 and even that wasn't really enough!
So I finally got hold of my mom on her cellphone. It didn't take me long to figure out I had to go to the hospital. I was very painfully achy all over, like I was beat up and bruised everywhere. Pushing or touching my skin hurt. I had been coughing a whole lot. It was hard to catch my breath, and impossible while standing, and when I did stand I felt weak and dizzy. I almost forgot the massive pounding headache. I don't usually get any temperatures because the prednisone hides them but I took it and it was 39 degrees or 102 F.
At this point, I have to say I really felt like I was going to die. I couldn't breathe, the inhalers weren't helping any at all. My heart kept soaring on and the oxygen was popping off the tanks since it was blowing so hard. Last April when I landed in the ICU, I felt much much less sick than at this time. It came on super fast in a matter of hours. And also, when you're sick-- it's really hard to believe that you will ever be well again or ever feel comfortable.
The ER, as usual, made us wait as they do everybody. And I'm going in there saying, "I have breathing problems." I just feel so sorry for people who've hurt their leg! Well my mom left at 12:30 AM while I was in the ER. They started some IV antibiotics and did an xray and ctscans and pain meds. I didn't get a room until around 5 AM or so!! And I hadn't really slept at all that night. But good news was, I already was feeling a LOT better!
On Sunday I would say I was at least 60% better. My dad came to visit me and I was so tired when he first came (and I think a little drugged from the meds) that I would talk about something and then say, "wait, what were we talking about?" again and again. Kind of frusterating, and I realized what I was doing at least. So he let me take a nap for an hour or so and then went to go look at construction in the area. Mom's here today and I think I am probably 80% better today. Not yet back to baseline but I will take what I can get!! They're really not sure what's caused it yet, like virus or bacteria or whatnot, but they're thinking it's a bacterial pneumonia due to the ctscans and my improvement with the antibiotics.
My ears are starting to hurt a lot and my sinuses, too. I've had a lot of ear and sinus pain in the past due to WG. The docs here say that this new pain could certainly be due to the bacterial pneumonia so lets all just cross our fingers that it will leave along with the other symptoms!!
*********
Amongst all this bad news, I have some Super Awesome Good News!! Some (extremely) kind members of the international Ball-Jointed Doll and Super Dollfie community read some of my entries here on LiveJournal and I was sent a very nice e-mail asking if I minded that they wanted to do something for me. Let me say, it's really hard being so sick like this (obviously), but especially because it is my impression that society doesn't seem to have a place for sick or disabled teenagers or young adults. Society does have a place for ill children and elderly. And there are all sorts of paths for the healthy, but the sick and disabled seem to have got to make their own. It's ok though. Because I've met a lot of amazing people who have just been unbelievably kind to me, and who have helped me along my way to make a place for myself.
So anyhow, ... some of these members mentioned above contacted the Volks Company, makers of the Super Dollfie Dolls and inarguably birth-mother to the modern Ball-Jointed Doll concept. I met the company on my absolutely amazing Make-A-Wish trip to Japan in the August of 2005. The Volks company was just astonishing in their generousity and kindness. They welcomed me and my family with open arms. They are so passionate about their positions as creators of these dolls that people really love so much. They were more than gracious to me then, and continue to keep up my spirits when they write to me occasionally. I love reading what the president sends, even though the English is a bit funny; it's cute :)
Well, Anyhow, my *point* is that these members told Volks that I wasn't doing too well and Volks sent me an e-mail with a letter from Volks' president saying that he would be sending me a beautiful little rei-tenshi doll ! They are the little baby angels about halfway down this page: link
A little baby angel flying to me... over the Pacific Ocean!
Can't wait to get home to sleep in my own bed and make the little angel some clothing when she comes!