Dear Humans, please stop making comments about the sexuality of someone about whom I care.
We're not talking about a lover or a best friend or a sibling or something. Just an anonymous person who has positively influenced my life. Maybe this person is homosexual. Maybe s/he isn't. Who the fuck cares? Specifically, two things need to change: 1. Everyone needs to stop telling people that this person is gay. 2. Everybody needs to stop making gay jokes any time this person is mentioned.
Why is this a big deal? It honestly shouldn't be, but for the following reasons, this needs to stop:
1a. If one does not discuss one's sex life, it's not necessarily because there is anything out of the ordinary there. Maybe, you know, it's just a very private individual. If this person is gay, it is incredibly rude to out him/her.
1b. Regardless of a person's sexuality, it is rude to make assumptions. It is worse to broadcast those assumptions to other people, who may or may not be homophobic.
1c. If a person reveals his/her sexuality to others, that is a choice, and s/he is aware of whatever risks there are (especially, you know, in the South). If someone does NOT broadcast his/her sexuality and others do, or if a person is mislabeled as a 'sexual minority,' s/he is exposed to the possibility of an unexpected hate crime.
2. I know that people think that it is cute to make comments, but, really, gay jokes are hateful. There's really nothing abnormal about gay people, nothing aberrant, nothing dangerous, nothing inferior, nothing humourous, or really different from straight people. We are talking about a kind, intelligent, funny human being, who has no idea that anyone is making these comments or jokes. This person has plenty of silly traits which s/he has labeled fair game, about which s/he makes jokes. And you know, some of these jokes don't even make sense, to the point that those who make them are literally saying that they don't know jack shit about gay people; that they think gay people are somehow drastically abnormal or different. That you couldn't know them unless you knew about their sexuality and preferences in bed.
This also implies the assumption that everybody else is heterosexual and equally amused by others' love lives. It's alienating for anyone remotely gender queer/flexible/non-heteronormative and it's wrong. And I don't know how to make it stop, because I don't want to call greater attention to the target or make others aware of the situation.
I am just so sick, and unhappy, and angry right now at the people who continue to publicize and mock and make assumptions about what is clearly an off-limits and very private area of a very private, very amazing person's life.
I don't care if you're fond of this person, if it's one of your favourite people, if you think that you're being cute or funny or that it's OK. It's not OK. Stop.
Why is this a big deal? It honestly shouldn't be, but for the following reasons, this needs to stop:
1a. If one does not discuss one's sex life, it's not necessarily because there is anything out of the ordinary there. Maybe, you know, it's just a very private individual. If this person is gay, it is incredibly rude to out him/her.
1b. Regardless of a person's sexuality, it is rude to make assumptions. It is worse to broadcast those assumptions to other people, who may or may not be homophobic.
1c. If a person reveals his/her sexuality to others, that is a choice, and s/he is aware of whatever risks there are (especially, you know, in the South). If someone does NOT broadcast his/her sexuality and others do, or if a person is mislabeled as a 'sexual minority,' s/he is exposed to the possibility of an unexpected hate crime.
2. I know that people think that it is cute to make comments, but, really, gay jokes are hateful. There's really nothing abnormal about gay people, nothing aberrant, nothing dangerous, nothing inferior, nothing humourous, or really different from straight people. We are talking about a kind, intelligent, funny human being, who has no idea that anyone is making these comments or jokes. This person has plenty of silly traits which s/he has labeled fair game, about which s/he makes jokes. And you know, some of these jokes don't even make sense, to the point that those who make them are literally saying that they don't know jack shit about gay people; that they think gay people are somehow drastically abnormal or different. That you couldn't know them unless you knew about their sexuality and preferences in bed.
This also implies the assumption that everybody else is heterosexual and equally amused by others' love lives. It's alienating for anyone remotely gender queer/flexible/non-heteronormative and it's wrong. And I don't know how to make it stop, because I don't want to call greater attention to the target or make others aware of the situation.
I am just so sick, and unhappy, and angry right now at the people who continue to publicize and mock and make assumptions about what is clearly an off-limits and very private area of a very private, very amazing person's life.
I don't care if you're fond of this person, if it's one of your favourite people, if you think that you're being cute or funny or that it's OK. It's not OK. Stop.