May 26, 2005 11:09
Ahh.. Another overcast day in the Bay Area. I am getting to be such a wimp when it comes to heat. When I go to Vacaville I feel like I am going to melt or something. And that is when it is like eighty degrees.
Anyway, I am off today to gather applications. I am scared to move into my new apartment when I don't have a job. I am getting so anxious lately. I feel like I am waiting for my life to begin again. It is rather like the summer after senior year. The worst part is, I am so impatient. I hate waiting. I hate feeling like I am stuck in between things. The good part is... I know I am waiting for something that I really want to do. Last year, in my preparations for Sarah Lawrence... I had this underlying sense of dread. I literally cried when I got my housing bid. I did not want to go. But I thought that I was just being a dork about it. I mean, I had a lot that I was leaving behind.
Now, anyway. I just feel so excited about next year. The people that I have already met are really nice. Everyone seems pretty friendly. But they seem like they're in the same place as me. You know, not here and not there. But they're enjoying it. So I am going to try to enjoy it too. I love this town. And I love my new apartment and I can't believe it just fell into my lap like it did. And I love that I am going to be going to school where I am. I think I even love the fact that I am going to be a freshman again, and do things the way I want to do them. It's a good feeling when I know everything I have is something I've gotten entirely on my own. No one put me here. I did it myself. Which doesn't sound like much of an accomplishment to anyone out there. But to me, that's very important.
Anyway, I am gearing up for Memorial Day. Brittany, Chelsea, and Katie are coming up and I am going to be happy to see them. I hope I get to see them. I know there will probably be one million and one other people they will want to see. But yes, I am excited. Also, I am getting ready to take summer school, which will start June 20. I am happy about that. It will be a good introduction to the new year. I am thinking about a math class just so I can get it out of the way. But, again, we'll see.
And yes, again. I am off to get applications. Urban Outfitters takes forever and a day to call you back and I cannot wait around for them. So I need to find something semi-permanent. Also, I want to apply to the new American Apparel they are opening on Bancroft but you have to send your picture in. If I don't get a call back I'll never know if it was because I was not pretty enough or nor qualified enough.