Knowing me and how to get around my habits
So knowing how many undelivered letters I have written. In an atempt to change that. Because I wouldn't want to leave this place with a shopping list of things to say to people I care about. I seem embarassed about sharing how I feel when I am unsure of people's reaction. This needs to change.
In an attempt I told someone I wrote them a letter to hopefully ensure it's delivery. I don't think it is going to trick my brain enough. For the past day I have come to terms with how selfish pouring my feelings on a page to give to another. Why? When less words can mean more. I could have just said I love you I don't care how you are in my life, just that you are. In a lot of ways that is me growing up.
Not that I have a healthy idea of love and it's trickery, I don't. It is just so fascinating.
I asked a counselor once to paint me a picture of what a healthy relationship is. I listen to her tell me that a healthy relationship is based on how I felt about it. Since I have a good relationship with food I think I am going to spell this out with that in mind.
Things I really like to eat I don't eat all the time because I recognize that if I did it would cheapen the experience. I don't like the feeling of being too full and sluggish except for once a year, thanks giving. Like everything else in life moderate it.
It is very hard for me to moderate my interaction with people. Like you are going to see your favorite band or play and getting so wrapped up in the time that this experience invades everything else. But you don't really want to take the band or all the actors with you in your everyday life but that is all you can think about.
I am in love with the idea of love.
At work I remind myself to remember why I do this, to love them unconditional because people that are thoughtless in there behaviors just don't know how they can affect people. My new favorite trait in some people that doesn't cost a thing is being thoughtful and good manners.
Also having a balance between masculin and femanine traits ( another thing that doesn't cost)
As much as things cost money the love I want doesn't cost.
Soaking in images of a truck that reminds me of every truck I have rode in since I was 5, three in the tree. My heart skips a beat.
Grampa's truck, James, Jim, Nathan, Jon fu, mr. Decoursey and Jesse's dad's
There is a fondness of friendship that can't hold candle to anything else. I do not care how you are in my life, just that you are.
In an attempt I told someone I wrote them a letter to hopefully ensure it's delivery. I don't think it is going to trick my brain enough. For the past day I have come to terms with how selfish pouring my feelings on a page to give to another. Why? When less words can mean more. I could have just said I love you I don't care how you are in my life, just that you are. In a lot of ways that is me growing up.
Not that I have a healthy idea of love and it's trickery, I don't. It is just so fascinating.
I asked a counselor once to paint me a picture of what a healthy relationship is. I listen to her tell me that a healthy relationship is based on how I felt about it. Since I have a good relationship with food I think I am going to spell this out with that in mind.
Things I really like to eat I don't eat all the time because I recognize that if I did it would cheapen the experience. I don't like the feeling of being too full and sluggish except for once a year, thanks giving. Like everything else in life moderate it.
It is very hard for me to moderate my interaction with people. Like you are going to see your favorite band or play and getting so wrapped up in the time that this experience invades everything else. But you don't really want to take the band or all the actors with you in your everyday life but that is all you can think about.
I am in love with the idea of love.
At work I remind myself to remember why I do this, to love them unconditional because people that are thoughtless in there behaviors just don't know how they can affect people. My new favorite trait in some people that doesn't cost a thing is being thoughtful and good manners.
Also having a balance between masculin and femanine traits ( another thing that doesn't cost)
As much as things cost money the love I want doesn't cost.
Soaking in images of a truck that reminds me of every truck I have rode in since I was 5, three in the tree. My heart skips a beat.
Grampa's truck, James, Jim, Nathan, Jon fu, mr. Decoursey and Jesse's dad's
There is a fondness of friendship that can't hold candle to anything else. I do not care how you are in my life, just that you are.