Purple Rain Chapter 11- Things I'll Never Say
UPDATE!! YAY!
UNBETAD!!! Not so Yay, but she is busy so...
This one is a relatively fluffy chapter for me.
Chapter 11 - Things I’ll Never Say
Barney slid into their regular booth at MacLaren’s and fumbled around in his suit jacket, producing two passes and waving them in the air with a fanfare.
“Ta da! What? What am I holding in my hand? Glad you ask Lily!”
Lily grinned indulgently at Barney as he gave her one pass and the other to Robin.
“These are two subs for classes at the Krav-Maga Center here in New York,” Barney explained as Lily and Robin read the bold print.
Lily raised a questioning eyebrow, which rocketed even higher when she noticed that Robin did not look as confused as she.
“It came to my attention the other night that you two ladies, fine and foxy as you are live in New York City, the greatest city in the greatest country in the world but not exactly the lowest in violent crime related incidents. So… I’ve paid for you guys to take classes in the fine Israeli martial arts of self-defence using anything and everything at your disposal.”
Marshall and Ted sat down at the booth right then and they each took a pass from the girls, reading the aggressive lettering on the passes with slightly impressed expressions on their faces.
“Yeah that’s right Marshall, Ted, our women are going to learn to kick ass like the deadliest Israeli Defence Forces female soldiers. Its 2009 guys time to move out of the ‘50s where men did all the protecting. And come on who are we kidding, Robin’s halfway there with all her gun toting shenanigans.”
“Wow Barney thanks! I’ve always wanted to be a kick-ass chick! Robin we’ll be like the ‘Charlie’s Angels’ but real!” Lily gushed excitedly.
Marshall and Ted picking up on the ‘Charlie’s Angels’ mention started to spin fantastic scenarios where Robin and Lily would become vigilantes saving New York from nefarious characters.
“Yeah Barney… thanks,” Robin echoed softly, her eyes communicating that she understood why he was doing this and she appreciated it.
Barney smiled at her apologetically for a second before the smile brightened and he looked around the booth with self-satisfaction then weighed in on the ‘Charlie’s Angels’ fantasy, turning it into a dirty, sexual inappropriate conversational topic.
-----------xxx
“So you and Robin have been living together for almost 3 weeks, how’s it going?” Lily probed.
Robin, Ted and Marshall were arguing over jukebox selections leaving Barney and Lily sitting across from each other in the booth.
“It’s great, why?”
“Well… Barney you’re still in love with her so it must be harder to keep it a secret when you guys are living together.”
“Maybe for other mere mortal types but I’m a God among men Aldrin and there really is no problem. Besides, I’m over that whole being in love with Robin thing.” Barney waved a hand dismissively.
Lily frowned sceptically, “Really?”
“Yeah really.”
“So it was purely my imagination that saw you totally lose your cool the other day when Ted mentioned Benjamin-Bratt lookalike?”
“Uh… yeah.”
Lily opened her mouth to say more but she shut it again when Robin and Ted walked back over to the booth.
“So Marshall pulled his ‘I’m 6ft 4 and could squash you with one swat of my freakishly large hand’ card and told us to go sit down while he picked the songs… I can’t wait until we take this class Lil’ then I’ll totally kick his ass if he talks any smack.” Robin said as she sat down next to Barney.
Lily shrugged, her sharp eyes watching their body language as Robin sat very close to Barney, her body slightly turned towards him. Barney threw her a look that told her to stop it and cracked a joke about how Robin was more likely to be an Uma Thurman in ‘Kill Bill’ type of kick ass chick as opposed to the PG-13 ‘Charlie’s Angels’. That launched a new discussion about which characters they would all be, Barney naturally calling dibs on being Bill himself.
-----------------xxxx
Robin studied her neck in the mirror, the bruises were almost completely gone, a few faint marks remained but a little concealer did the trick. On Sunday at brunch, Tom had suggested arnica cream, giving Robin a tube. When they got home Barney had smacked his forehead in dismay; he had forgotten that he had some arnica in the medicine cabinet.
Robin had merely shaken her head at his antics, ordering him to rub it into her skin then rub ‘something else’ before she went to bed.
She thought back to how the ‘Strangling Incident’ had allowed her to see yet another facet of Barney’s character. He had been so caring, so gentle, so careful not to do anything to displease her that she had found her heart doing odd flip flops whenever he was around, solicitously serving her food, providing a running commentary of dirty humor while they watched 60 minutes and the news, fluffing her pillows for her and bathing her. Robin smiled to herself as she thought of how Barney had ended up in the tub with her the second time he bathed her. It was that damn sensitive spot behind her left knee.
After brunch on Sunday, Robin had refrained from bringing up the nightmare incident with their friends, explaining to Barney when he looked at her with questioning eyes, that she did not think it was anybody else’s business and the only reason she had shown his family was because she did not want Barney to see it as some dirty secret. Besides, it was perfectly normal for human beings to have nightmares and fears.
He had simply looked away then turning his attention back to her had quipped, “Wanna see what else human beings have Scherbatsky?” Robin had laughed, happily obliging him, they were going to get past this and whatever else may happen their Bro-ship had been strengthened because of what Robin liked to congratulate herself for; practical Scherbatsky-style handling of the situation. Also known as avoiding the issue and allowing sex to substitute talking about anything that might be unpleasant.
Her phone rang, and Robin nearly shouted for Barney to pick it up but then she remembered he was away on business again. She was alone in the apartment. By the time she located it in the living room it had stopped ringing. She looked at the call log and cursed under her breath when she realized it was an ‘unknown caller’. Then the house phone rang and Robin ran to pick it up.
“Hello?!”
“Robin! You’re home!” Barney exclaimed from the other end.
“Hey Barney, how’s your trip going!?”
“Meh… its work so you know… What’s going on, you’re at home on a Friday night,” Barney asked in a fake-casual voice.
Robin smiled, realizing that he was probably worried that she was still not feeling well or something. She walked back into her bedroom and turned down the covers. Pausing in front of the mirror, she grimaced at the sight of the bags under her eyes.
“I’m just about to go to bed, tomorrow’s my first day at Channel 12, remember?”
“I know that Scherbatsky, that still doesn’t explain why you aren’t out with the gang.”
Balancing the phone between her ear and shoulder, Robin started to rub night cream on her face.
“’Cause I have to be up at stupid o’clock in the morning and I’m nervous, Barney.” Robin’s tone was a combination of irritated and sarcastic.
“Aha! Now we’re getting to the good stuff… tell me more about your insecurities and how they relate back to your domineering father…”
“Barney!”
“I’m kidding… well sort of.”
Robin could hear the smile in his voice over the phone; she caught her reflection in the mirror and saw that she was grinning like an idiot. She scowled at it.
“Was there a point to this phone call Stinson?”
“Uh, letting you hear the awesomeness that is my voice before you go to bed is not a gift to be trifled with Scherbatsky. In fact there are women around the world that cry themselves to sleep every night because they don’t have that honor… True story.”
Robin rolled her eyes, but stifled a giggle, turning back to her bed she crawled on it, briefly pulling the phone from her ear as she tried to get comfortable. She grunted at the effort.
“Now that sounds more like it.”
“I’m trying to get comfortable in my bed, Barney.”
“You’re already in bed!?”
“Yeah, you called just before I put on some night cream.”
“Oh… bags under your eyes?”
“How’d you know?”
“Uh… we live together Sparkles, you only put night cream on your face when you’ve got bags under your eyes which is crazy, you should use night cream every day, the skin on your face is a precious jewel that you-”
“Oh here we go again, yeah, yeah, I know, I’ll never get the youthful suppleness in my skin if I mistreat it…. Anything else you big girl?”
“Well as a matter of fact, I was going to say that there is this miracle stuff they sell at a local drug store in England, it’s been proven to be the best stuff around and it’s only like $40.”
“Really?”
“Yes really, now if you’re nice to me I could bring you some.”
“So you’re in London?”
“Not exactly.”
Robin frowned, “Okaaay…”
“Anyways enough chit-chat, but Sparkles seriously… you don’t have to try and pick a fight or be cranky so I stay on the line longer. I’ve been told many a time I have the voice of a most gifted orator.”
“Okay, what?”
“If you wanna fall asleep to the sound of the Barnacle not only is it perfectly understandable it’s natural… also it’s obvious and expected that you’re missing me.”
“I am not!” Robin winced the minute her retort passed her lips.
That had been way too fast a response; all it did was lend credence to Barney’s insane theory. He’d only been gone three days, it would be crazy to miss someone after such a short interlude.
Barney chuckled on the other end, making Robin see crimson red. Instinctively, she hung up on him. Smiling evilly to herself as she envisaged his face when he realised what had happened.
Snuggling into the covers, she pillowed her head on her hands with a wide grin on her lips; that should pull him down a peg or two. Imagine the cheek of that man, suggesting that she had missed him.
After a few minutes Robin’s euphoria wore off and she realized that sleep was as elusive as clear photographs of Marshall’s Loch Ness monster. Damn Barney Stinson! She did not miss him! He had only been gone for 3 full days anyway, why the Hell would that make her feel as if something was missing? And even if she had caught herself feeling that way at lunch with Lily yesterday, that was only because she knew that she would be coming back to an empty apartment. It was natural for her to miss the presence of another human being in the apartment, it had nothing to do with the fact that the human being in question was Barney, did it? Of course not! And even thinking about it was giving the smug bastard way too much credit. She had a job to do tomorrow morning!
She threw herself down onto the mattress and punched her pillow angrily, damn lumpy thing!
Two hours, three glasses of warm milk and one chapter of Charles Dickens’, ‘Great Expectations’ later, Robin was still wide awake and her mood was fouler than a Texan thunder-storm.
Her phone beeped with a text message, she grabbed it, angrily wondering who was crazy enough to SMS her at 12 midnight. Barney.
‘I’m going to attribute the break in our connection on unreliable Moroccan telephone services. Any other explanation, just.does.not.make.sense.’
Robin rolled her eyes and biting her lip, messaged back, ‘Whatever helps you sleep at night Stinson.’
A few minutes later he phone beeped again, ‘You’re still awake! Get some sleep Sparkles!’
‘I’m trying but my annoying roommate keeps texting me.’
Robin sat up in bed, eagerly waiting to see what he would say to that, she did not have to wait long.
‘Hmm, lie to yourself all you like Scherbatsky… your Shoppers Drug Mart $8.99 night cream won’t be able to hide the truth in the a.m.’
Robin half snorted half grunted, as she wrote back.
‘Blow me.’
Barney replied, ‘When I get back.’
Robin let out a short laugh, her bad mood completely gone.
‘When is that again?’
His reply came back in less than a minute.
‘Will be back middle of next week. Now enough, get some sleep Sparkles!’
“I’m trying it’s just not working!” Robin complained out-loud to the empty room.
She texted back, ‘Drank half a gallon of warm milk and tried reading ‘Great Expectations’, obviously neither worked.’
Barney replied, ‘Milk = the Marrieds, Dickens = the Mosby.’
Robin laughed as she read his message to herself, then sent her own reply.
“True.’
Barney’s next text arrived in seconds, ‘Ask yourself what would the B-Man do?’
Robin was typing as she thought of a response, ‘Something raunchy involving a dumb blonde.’
He replied, ‘If it was just insomnia, yes. If its nerves… that also works, you could also ‘read a magazine’ B-Man style.’
Robin smiled at this message; gazing at the text wistfully she realized she did miss him. Lying back in her dishevelled bed she stared up at the dark ceiling and wondered what new level of fucked-up-ness this brought her to. Her phone beeped again.
‘Seriously Sparkles, you need some shuteye. Sometimes it helps to surround yourself with something comfortable and familiar. Or friends, that’s why I was surprised you weren’t at the bar.’
Robin felt her heart-strings tug at this message. When it came to emotions, Barney had a very strict policy against self-incrimination. Robin knew all about his policy because he had expounded for a whole hour on that very subject. If it was anybody else the last text would not mean very much but this was Barney, and this text which could be interpreted to show weakness could be used as incriminating evidence at some future date. The man behind the awesome mask was communicating to her from North Africa, putting himself on the line for anyone smart enough to see it. Taking a deep breath she decided to message him back something honest too.
‘Was at the bar but left early, was a bit dry tonight without you. I wanna hear more about ‘reading a magazine’ B-Man style.’
‘Yeah you do! Naughty Sparkles! Okay, in order to really get you in character, you’re going to have to put on pyjamas and get into my bed… yeah I did.’
Robin frowned good-humoredly as she tried to get the pun; her fingers flew on the keypad.
‘Lame Barney.’
‘What you talking about? Those silk tuxedo pyjamas are awesome, now if you wanna get some sleep, do as I say!’
Robin shook her head, the phone beeped again.
‘Now Scherbatsky… geez.’
Robin rolled her eyes and got out of her bed, carrying the phone with her she strode into his room. Switching on the light, it hit her how much the room smelt like Barney. Maybe by design or maybe it was just a coincidence but she had not been in there since he left. She took a couple steps towards the bed and looked around for his pyjamas. Her phone beeped.
‘Third drawer from the top in dresser.’
“Alright Stinson, this is getting weird, if you’ve got some remote camera watching me you are so dead!”
Robin half-yelled, half-chuckled at the empty room.
She tossed her phone on the bed and went to the dresser, opening the drawer she located the pyjamas.
Making a face at the stiff and shiny fabric, she threw the offensive articles on the bed. Hands on hips she stared at the pyjamas in horrified delight. The light on her phone blinked as her phone beeped.
‘I know, a sartorial masterpiece isn’t it?’
Robin grinned as she replied, ‘Not even close.’
‘Please! Okay Negative Nelly, put them on.’
Robin started to message him a protest when another message came through.
‘Trust me Scherbatsky.’
With a sigh, Robin threw the phone back on the bed and then raking one last doubtful eye over the pyjamas, she also cast a suspicious look around the room for a blinking LED light that would indicate she was being filmed. Satisfied that Barney hadn’t reinstated the cameras she had made him get rid of, Robin took off her clothes and put Barney’s on. At least nobody was here to see her do this. When she was done, her phone beeped.
‘Now turn off the light and get into bed.’
Robin shuffled awkwardly in the stiff material, after switching off the light she shuffled towards the bed. The phone beeped.
‘Careful not to wrinkle it.’
Robin’s fingers flew on the keypad, ‘Dude you’re being a Ted.’
She knew Barney would immediately understand she meant he was being obnoxious. He got her like that, she thought with a proud grin.
‘Sorry, feel free to crease and destroy the tuxamas, I’m rich, I can get another pair.’
Robin chuckled as she got into the bed, delighting in the sound of the material wrinkling as she burrowed under the covers.
‘Feels weird to say this but, are you in?’
Robin beamed at the phone; she found that the minute she had drawn the covers over her body she had already started to feel drowsy.
‘Yes I am and weird but I’m feeling sleepy already.’
‘Too bad, we were about to get to the good stuff! Maybe next time. Good night Sparkles and break a leg, I know you’ll be awesome.’
Robin smiled tiredly at the screen, ‘Thanks Barney… Night…or morning or whatever it is on your side.’
The phone beeped again, ‘It’s morning and am in meeting with King of Morocco, gotta go but msg me if need to, phone’s on silent.’
Robin felt a warmth flood through her as she was struck once again by what a great friend Barney was. Her fingers and eyelids were feeling far too heavy for her to reply so she let her fingers curl around the phone and fell asleep.
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A/N: After the hash C&B made of our OTP this season, I thought we could do with some B/R connectedness. What did y’all think? Press that button!!
UNBETAD!!! Not so Yay, but she is busy so...
This one is a relatively fluffy chapter for me.
Chapter 11 - Things I’ll Never Say
Barney slid into their regular booth at MacLaren’s and fumbled around in his suit jacket, producing two passes and waving them in the air with a fanfare.
“Ta da! What? What am I holding in my hand? Glad you ask Lily!”
Lily grinned indulgently at Barney as he gave her one pass and the other to Robin.
“These are two subs for classes at the Krav-Maga Center here in New York,” Barney explained as Lily and Robin read the bold print.
Lily raised a questioning eyebrow, which rocketed even higher when she noticed that Robin did not look as confused as she.
“It came to my attention the other night that you two ladies, fine and foxy as you are live in New York City, the greatest city in the greatest country in the world but not exactly the lowest in violent crime related incidents. So… I’ve paid for you guys to take classes in the fine Israeli martial arts of self-defence using anything and everything at your disposal.”
Marshall and Ted sat down at the booth right then and they each took a pass from the girls, reading the aggressive lettering on the passes with slightly impressed expressions on their faces.
“Yeah that’s right Marshall, Ted, our women are going to learn to kick ass like the deadliest Israeli Defence Forces female soldiers. Its 2009 guys time to move out of the ‘50s where men did all the protecting. And come on who are we kidding, Robin’s halfway there with all her gun toting shenanigans.”
“Wow Barney thanks! I’ve always wanted to be a kick-ass chick! Robin we’ll be like the ‘Charlie’s Angels’ but real!” Lily gushed excitedly.
Marshall and Ted picking up on the ‘Charlie’s Angels’ mention started to spin fantastic scenarios where Robin and Lily would become vigilantes saving New York from nefarious characters.
“Yeah Barney… thanks,” Robin echoed softly, her eyes communicating that she understood why he was doing this and she appreciated it.
Barney smiled at her apologetically for a second before the smile brightened and he looked around the booth with self-satisfaction then weighed in on the ‘Charlie’s Angels’ fantasy, turning it into a dirty, sexual inappropriate conversational topic.
-----------xxx
“So you and Robin have been living together for almost 3 weeks, how’s it going?” Lily probed.
Robin, Ted and Marshall were arguing over jukebox selections leaving Barney and Lily sitting across from each other in the booth.
“It’s great, why?”
“Well… Barney you’re still in love with her so it must be harder to keep it a secret when you guys are living together.”
“Maybe for other mere mortal types but I’m a God among men Aldrin and there really is no problem. Besides, I’m over that whole being in love with Robin thing.” Barney waved a hand dismissively.
Lily frowned sceptically, “Really?”
“Yeah really.”
“So it was purely my imagination that saw you totally lose your cool the other day when Ted mentioned Benjamin-Bratt lookalike?”
“Uh… yeah.”
Lily opened her mouth to say more but she shut it again when Robin and Ted walked back over to the booth.
“So Marshall pulled his ‘I’m 6ft 4 and could squash you with one swat of my freakishly large hand’ card and told us to go sit down while he picked the songs… I can’t wait until we take this class Lil’ then I’ll totally kick his ass if he talks any smack.” Robin said as she sat down next to Barney.
Lily shrugged, her sharp eyes watching their body language as Robin sat very close to Barney, her body slightly turned towards him. Barney threw her a look that told her to stop it and cracked a joke about how Robin was more likely to be an Uma Thurman in ‘Kill Bill’ type of kick ass chick as opposed to the PG-13 ‘Charlie’s Angels’. That launched a new discussion about which characters they would all be, Barney naturally calling dibs on being Bill himself.
-----------------xxxx
Robin studied her neck in the mirror, the bruises were almost completely gone, a few faint marks remained but a little concealer did the trick. On Sunday at brunch, Tom had suggested arnica cream, giving Robin a tube. When they got home Barney had smacked his forehead in dismay; he had forgotten that he had some arnica in the medicine cabinet.
Robin had merely shaken her head at his antics, ordering him to rub it into her skin then rub ‘something else’ before she went to bed.
She thought back to how the ‘Strangling Incident’ had allowed her to see yet another facet of Barney’s character. He had been so caring, so gentle, so careful not to do anything to displease her that she had found her heart doing odd flip flops whenever he was around, solicitously serving her food, providing a running commentary of dirty humor while they watched 60 minutes and the news, fluffing her pillows for her and bathing her. Robin smiled to herself as she thought of how Barney had ended up in the tub with her the second time he bathed her. It was that damn sensitive spot behind her left knee.
After brunch on Sunday, Robin had refrained from bringing up the nightmare incident with their friends, explaining to Barney when he looked at her with questioning eyes, that she did not think it was anybody else’s business and the only reason she had shown his family was because she did not want Barney to see it as some dirty secret. Besides, it was perfectly normal for human beings to have nightmares and fears.
He had simply looked away then turning his attention back to her had quipped, “Wanna see what else human beings have Scherbatsky?” Robin had laughed, happily obliging him, they were going to get past this and whatever else may happen their Bro-ship had been strengthened because of what Robin liked to congratulate herself for; practical Scherbatsky-style handling of the situation. Also known as avoiding the issue and allowing sex to substitute talking about anything that might be unpleasant.
Her phone rang, and Robin nearly shouted for Barney to pick it up but then she remembered he was away on business again. She was alone in the apartment. By the time she located it in the living room it had stopped ringing. She looked at the call log and cursed under her breath when she realized it was an ‘unknown caller’. Then the house phone rang and Robin ran to pick it up.
“Hello?!”
“Robin! You’re home!” Barney exclaimed from the other end.
“Hey Barney, how’s your trip going!?”
“Meh… its work so you know… What’s going on, you’re at home on a Friday night,” Barney asked in a fake-casual voice.
Robin smiled, realizing that he was probably worried that she was still not feeling well or something. She walked back into her bedroom and turned down the covers. Pausing in front of the mirror, she grimaced at the sight of the bags under her eyes.
“I’m just about to go to bed, tomorrow’s my first day at Channel 12, remember?”
“I know that Scherbatsky, that still doesn’t explain why you aren’t out with the gang.”
Balancing the phone between her ear and shoulder, Robin started to rub night cream on her face.
“’Cause I have to be up at stupid o’clock in the morning and I’m nervous, Barney.” Robin’s tone was a combination of irritated and sarcastic.
“Aha! Now we’re getting to the good stuff… tell me more about your insecurities and how they relate back to your domineering father…”
“Barney!”
“I’m kidding… well sort of.”
Robin could hear the smile in his voice over the phone; she caught her reflection in the mirror and saw that she was grinning like an idiot. She scowled at it.
“Was there a point to this phone call Stinson?”
“Uh, letting you hear the awesomeness that is my voice before you go to bed is not a gift to be trifled with Scherbatsky. In fact there are women around the world that cry themselves to sleep every night because they don’t have that honor… True story.”
Robin rolled her eyes, but stifled a giggle, turning back to her bed she crawled on it, briefly pulling the phone from her ear as she tried to get comfortable. She grunted at the effort.
“Now that sounds more like it.”
“I’m trying to get comfortable in my bed, Barney.”
“You’re already in bed!?”
“Yeah, you called just before I put on some night cream.”
“Oh… bags under your eyes?”
“How’d you know?”
“Uh… we live together Sparkles, you only put night cream on your face when you’ve got bags under your eyes which is crazy, you should use night cream every day, the skin on your face is a precious jewel that you-”
“Oh here we go again, yeah, yeah, I know, I’ll never get the youthful suppleness in my skin if I mistreat it…. Anything else you big girl?”
“Well as a matter of fact, I was going to say that there is this miracle stuff they sell at a local drug store in England, it’s been proven to be the best stuff around and it’s only like $40.”
“Really?”
“Yes really, now if you’re nice to me I could bring you some.”
“So you’re in London?”
“Not exactly.”
Robin frowned, “Okaaay…”
“Anyways enough chit-chat, but Sparkles seriously… you don’t have to try and pick a fight or be cranky so I stay on the line longer. I’ve been told many a time I have the voice of a most gifted orator.”
“Okay, what?”
“If you wanna fall asleep to the sound of the Barnacle not only is it perfectly understandable it’s natural… also it’s obvious and expected that you’re missing me.”
“I am not!” Robin winced the minute her retort passed her lips.
That had been way too fast a response; all it did was lend credence to Barney’s insane theory. He’d only been gone three days, it would be crazy to miss someone after such a short interlude.
Barney chuckled on the other end, making Robin see crimson red. Instinctively, she hung up on him. Smiling evilly to herself as she envisaged his face when he realised what had happened.
Snuggling into the covers, she pillowed her head on her hands with a wide grin on her lips; that should pull him down a peg or two. Imagine the cheek of that man, suggesting that she had missed him.
After a few minutes Robin’s euphoria wore off and she realized that sleep was as elusive as clear photographs of Marshall’s Loch Ness monster. Damn Barney Stinson! She did not miss him! He had only been gone for 3 full days anyway, why the Hell would that make her feel as if something was missing? And even if she had caught herself feeling that way at lunch with Lily yesterday, that was only because she knew that she would be coming back to an empty apartment. It was natural for her to miss the presence of another human being in the apartment, it had nothing to do with the fact that the human being in question was Barney, did it? Of course not! And even thinking about it was giving the smug bastard way too much credit. She had a job to do tomorrow morning!
She threw herself down onto the mattress and punched her pillow angrily, damn lumpy thing!
Two hours, three glasses of warm milk and one chapter of Charles Dickens’, ‘Great Expectations’ later, Robin was still wide awake and her mood was fouler than a Texan thunder-storm.
Her phone beeped with a text message, she grabbed it, angrily wondering who was crazy enough to SMS her at 12 midnight. Barney.
‘I’m going to attribute the break in our connection on unreliable Moroccan telephone services. Any other explanation, just.does.not.make.sense.’
Robin rolled her eyes and biting her lip, messaged back, ‘Whatever helps you sleep at night Stinson.’
A few minutes later he phone beeped again, ‘You’re still awake! Get some sleep Sparkles!’
‘I’m trying but my annoying roommate keeps texting me.’
Robin sat up in bed, eagerly waiting to see what he would say to that, she did not have to wait long.
‘Hmm, lie to yourself all you like Scherbatsky… your Shoppers Drug Mart $8.99 night cream won’t be able to hide the truth in the a.m.’
Robin half snorted half grunted, as she wrote back.
‘Blow me.’
Barney replied, ‘When I get back.’
Robin let out a short laugh, her bad mood completely gone.
‘When is that again?’
His reply came back in less than a minute.
‘Will be back middle of next week. Now enough, get some sleep Sparkles!’
“I’m trying it’s just not working!” Robin complained out-loud to the empty room.
She texted back, ‘Drank half a gallon of warm milk and tried reading ‘Great Expectations’, obviously neither worked.’
Barney replied, ‘Milk = the Marrieds, Dickens = the Mosby.’
Robin laughed as she read his message to herself, then sent her own reply.
“True.’
Barney’s next text arrived in seconds, ‘Ask yourself what would the B-Man do?’
Robin was typing as she thought of a response, ‘Something raunchy involving a dumb blonde.’
He replied, ‘If it was just insomnia, yes. If its nerves… that also works, you could also ‘read a magazine’ B-Man style.’
Robin smiled at this message; gazing at the text wistfully she realized she did miss him. Lying back in her dishevelled bed she stared up at the dark ceiling and wondered what new level of fucked-up-ness this brought her to. Her phone beeped again.
‘Seriously Sparkles, you need some shuteye. Sometimes it helps to surround yourself with something comfortable and familiar. Or friends, that’s why I was surprised you weren’t at the bar.’
Robin felt her heart-strings tug at this message. When it came to emotions, Barney had a very strict policy against self-incrimination. Robin knew all about his policy because he had expounded for a whole hour on that very subject. If it was anybody else the last text would not mean very much but this was Barney, and this text which could be interpreted to show weakness could be used as incriminating evidence at some future date. The man behind the awesome mask was communicating to her from North Africa, putting himself on the line for anyone smart enough to see it. Taking a deep breath she decided to message him back something honest too.
‘Was at the bar but left early, was a bit dry tonight without you. I wanna hear more about ‘reading a magazine’ B-Man style.’
‘Yeah you do! Naughty Sparkles! Okay, in order to really get you in character, you’re going to have to put on pyjamas and get into my bed… yeah I did.’
Robin frowned good-humoredly as she tried to get the pun; her fingers flew on the keypad.
‘Lame Barney.’
‘What you talking about? Those silk tuxedo pyjamas are awesome, now if you wanna get some sleep, do as I say!’
Robin shook her head, the phone beeped again.
‘Now Scherbatsky… geez.’
Robin rolled her eyes and got out of her bed, carrying the phone with her she strode into his room. Switching on the light, it hit her how much the room smelt like Barney. Maybe by design or maybe it was just a coincidence but she had not been in there since he left. She took a couple steps towards the bed and looked around for his pyjamas. Her phone beeped.
‘Third drawer from the top in dresser.’
“Alright Stinson, this is getting weird, if you’ve got some remote camera watching me you are so dead!”
Robin half-yelled, half-chuckled at the empty room.
She tossed her phone on the bed and went to the dresser, opening the drawer she located the pyjamas.
Making a face at the stiff and shiny fabric, she threw the offensive articles on the bed. Hands on hips she stared at the pyjamas in horrified delight. The light on her phone blinked as her phone beeped.
‘I know, a sartorial masterpiece isn’t it?’
Robin grinned as she replied, ‘Not even close.’
‘Please! Okay Negative Nelly, put them on.’
Robin started to message him a protest when another message came through.
‘Trust me Scherbatsky.’
With a sigh, Robin threw the phone back on the bed and then raking one last doubtful eye over the pyjamas, she also cast a suspicious look around the room for a blinking LED light that would indicate she was being filmed. Satisfied that Barney hadn’t reinstated the cameras she had made him get rid of, Robin took off her clothes and put Barney’s on. At least nobody was here to see her do this. When she was done, her phone beeped.
‘Now turn off the light and get into bed.’
Robin shuffled awkwardly in the stiff material, after switching off the light she shuffled towards the bed. The phone beeped.
‘Careful not to wrinkle it.’
Robin’s fingers flew on the keypad, ‘Dude you’re being a Ted.’
She knew Barney would immediately understand she meant he was being obnoxious. He got her like that, she thought with a proud grin.
‘Sorry, feel free to crease and destroy the tuxamas, I’m rich, I can get another pair.’
Robin chuckled as she got into the bed, delighting in the sound of the material wrinkling as she burrowed under the covers.
‘Feels weird to say this but, are you in?’
Robin beamed at the phone; she found that the minute she had drawn the covers over her body she had already started to feel drowsy.
‘Yes I am and weird but I’m feeling sleepy already.’
‘Too bad, we were about to get to the good stuff! Maybe next time. Good night Sparkles and break a leg, I know you’ll be awesome.’
Robin smiled tiredly at the screen, ‘Thanks Barney… Night…or morning or whatever it is on your side.’
The phone beeped again, ‘It’s morning and am in meeting with King of Morocco, gotta go but msg me if need to, phone’s on silent.’
Robin felt a warmth flood through her as she was struck once again by what a great friend Barney was. Her fingers and eyelids were feeling far too heavy for her to reply so she let her fingers curl around the phone and fell asleep.
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A/N: After the hash C&B made of our OTP this season, I thought we could do with some B/R connectedness. What did y’all think? Press that button!!