C/S fanfic - Heartbreak
A/N: I was watching The Notebook the other night and this quote stood out for me, it seriously reminded me of C/S. Well the whole movie did but this part was awesome.
“They fought all the time and they challenged each other every day, but in spite of their differences, they had one important thing in common, they were crazy about each other.”
This one-shot is supposed to be set after Chuck spies on Sarah the second time. But then it was 3am and I even confused myself.
Heartache
Chuck stood at the counter of the Orange Orange staring at the monitor. Absent-mindedly staring at the image that was slowly playing out in front of him.
“What’s wrong with me? I was the one who broke up with her, right? Our relationship was obviously going nowhere as long as she was my handler. I shouldn’t be spying on her, let alone being jealous.” He switched the surveillance footage off and leaned his back against the counter, staring at his beat-up sneakers.
He felt that he had made a wise decision, he was growing impatient with her inability to reciprocate the feelings that he knew, that he was sure, Sarah felt for him. It had also been taking every ounce of restraint for him not to ravage her with kisses. If he gave in Sarah would surely withdraw, using every excuse in the book as to why they shouldn’t. Worse, if General Beckman were to find out she would surely reassign her.
The feelings that he felt for her were so big that even having her by his side wasn’t going to be enough at this point. With a heavy sigh Chuck walked out of the Orange Orange and headed back towards the direction of the Buy More; before he was caught spying again. When Casey had snuck up behind him earlier that day he almost had a heart attack, it was also a bit awkward since the monitor showed Agent Cole nude, “What was he trying to prove to her anyway?” he thought to himself.
Once he was outside the frozen yogurt shop, Chuck didn’t have the heart to go back to the Buy More, not just yet anyway. After what he just saw he felt like a little kid; foolish, for everything he’s ever done, all the words left unsaid between the both of them.
He leaned on one of the Nerd Herders that was parked at the front of the Buy More, letting out a sigh, trembling at the thought of the times they showed any kind of affection towards each other. The subtle glances, touches that she would steal when she thought no one noticed, even the way she fixed his tie. Then the kisses, those passionate kisses that would have moved heaven on earth, if they were under different circumstances.
Lifting his head up slightly, he looked up at the Orange Orange, “I don’t see any movement, which probably means one thing…” Chuck thought to himself.
He closed his eyes trying to fight back the tears forming in his eyes. Burying his head in his hands he let out another sigh, as he leaned back on the car, propping himself up against it. “Why is it so hard for me to just say, ‘I can’t sleep because all I can think about is you’?”
Kicking the loose gravel on the floor, his thoughts drifted back and forth between the blue-eyed beauty that stole his heart and his lack of initiative. He’d been in love before, but never like this, it was torture for him to be so close to her and yet not have her; the way he really wanted her.
Chuck sensed someone approaching him and without looking up he groaned, “Go away Morgan, I’m not in the mood.”
He was cut off by the delicate touch of the persons hand on his shoulder. Chuck knew right away who it was without having to look, it was the only person whose touch could send an electrical charge, a surge of energy coursing throughout his entire body, her touch that without meaning to has the ability of taking away his reasoning.
With his head still in his hands, he slowly opened his eyes.
“Chuck is everything okay?”
He needed to tell her how he felt, how it was a mistake to breakup; a rash decision. If he turned around to look at her, however, he would lose himself and any courage he had managed to muster. A silent strength that lifted and pushed him, dragging him to confront his fears and emotions.
“Talk to me Chuck, what’s wrong?”
He was stumbling over words to say, both his heart and his mind were leaving him confused, but he couldn’t just stand there and ignore her. This was the sort of thing that pushed her away and if he had learned anything from this new agent, it was that she needed someone who would take charge, someone who knew what they wanted and was willing to do whatever it took to get it.
Chuck lowered his hands away from his face and looked into her blue eyes, his hands involuntarily positioning themselves at her waist. He pulled her in closer towards him. They both stood there, staring into each other’s eyes.
Chuck struggled to find the right words to say, while Sarah stared at him, a confused expression on her face.
He took a deep breath, closed his eyes and exhaled slowly. “I can’t think I need to take control of the situation without losing her.” He said to himself.
With every lie he ever told his family and friends, with every mission that he went on, he lost a piece of who he truly was. Sarah was the only one who was capable of giving it all back, making him feel complete. Whenever he felt frustrated, however, he would turn and lash out at her. Putting all the blame on her when he knew, that like him, she wasn’t to blame.
Sarah didn’t deserve to be treated that way, not now or ever.
His expression softened as he brought his right hand to the side of her cheek, caressing it with his thumb. They were standing so close that Chuck could smell the scent of her shampoo.
With her hands on his chest, Sarah felt his heart beat, racing as their heads began to incline, inching closer and closer towards each other.
It was all déjà-vu for her, as she thought back to that time at the castle when he came to her for help. She had come so close to giving in to her emotions, but she managed to pull back; her training kicking in at the last moment. He was the asset and she couldn’t risk the mission for their feelings.
Feelings… that eight-letter word that clouded people’s judgments and would put both their lives in danger. Sarah tried to pull back but Chuck held her in place, she definitely did not expect this.
Chuck leaned in for a kiss but Sarah turned her head. He let her go, sighing dejectedly.
Chuck turned her face towards him, “I couldn’t sleep last night because I know it’s over between us. I can’t say I’m not bitter, I know there’s something there that’s real. There’s a quote that goes ‘The best love is the kind that awakens the heart and soul, making us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds.’ That’s what you’ve given me.”
“I see Ellie’s made you watch The Notebook.” Sarah said, a smile forming on her lips.
“Doesn’t their story mirror our own lives?” he asked her.
“In a way it does but those are fictional characters.” She replied, the smile never leaving her face.
“I know I’m nobody special, just a normal guy who has led a normal life…”
“Chuck you’re anything but normal,” she cut in, “you have the governments secrets locked in your head after all.” Sarah told him, placing her hand on the side of his face.
“I highly doubt that calls for any monuments to be named after me. As soon as this is all over and I get these secrets out of my head my name will be forgotten.”
“Yeah but Chuck in all respect, you’ve succeeded as gloriously as anyone who’s ever lived. You love others unconditionally with all your heart and soul, that’s enough for me.”
Chuck leaned back on the car, Sarah leaned herself on him. Holding her close he whispered by her ear, “Do you think our love can make miracles?”
Sarah didn’t respond, instead she wrapped her arms around him. At this point she didn’t care who saw, she was tired of suppressing her feelings, both mentally and physically. “You know this isn’t going to be easy, it’s going to be really hard and we’re going to have to work at this.”
Chuck kissed the top of her head and smiled, “I’m willing to do that because I want you, all of you; forever. Just you and me every day.”
Sarah looked up at Chuck, “Can you do something for me?” he asked.
“Anything.”
“Picture your life with me, 10 years from now, 20 years, even 50. What’s it look like; if it’s not with me then we’ll end this here. But don’t take the easy way out.”
Sarah looked down at his chest, “I might know you better than you think” he continued, “I don’t want you waking up one morning thinking what if you would’ve done things differently. This is about following your heart.”
Sarah remained silent; she wasn’t sure how to respond. Here was a man who made her want to be different, better. Who’s to say he would lead a happy life if she remained in the picture. “Chuck, I want this. I really do, but what if a year from now your life is horrible, miserable because we stayed together?” Tears began forming in her eyes; shutting her eyes she buried her face in his chest.
“Hey look at me, I don’t know what might happen years from now all I do know is you’re… beautiful.” He ended pulling her into a deep kiss.
X
“Is that how it always is with those two?” Cole asked Casey, both leaning on the side of the Orange Orange.
“Yeah… try dealing with them on a daily basis.” Casey replied as he went back downstairs to the castle.
Thanks to Aly for the beta! I know it was last minute but you rocked it.also many thanks to Nic for her feedback!
Accompany music vid C/S - La Fuerza del Corazon though I have to warn it is in spanish.