NEWS VS KAT-TUN
Title: NEWS VS KAT-TUN
Starring: NEWS, KAT-TUN cameo's from Kanjani8 and HSJ
Rating: PG but subject to change as Jin, Ryo and Ueda have such a wonderful way with words XD
Summary: Shounnen club proudly presents its newest segment, in which two of the biggest idol groups of the country shall face each other in the biggest battle to see who shall reign supreme.
Author's Note: This is the first time I've ever written a multi-chaptered crack-fic. I'm not even really sure it's allowed, but I'm doing it anyway!
Disclaimer: I don't own anyone, if I did this wouldn't be fiction. It would totally happen!
Previous Chapters
Prologue
Round one:Preparations
Round one: Cosplay
Round one: Cosplay part II
Round Two: Ueda Vs Koyama
Round Two: Ueda Vs Koyama part II
Round Three: Ryo Vs ???
Round Three: Lollipop
Round Four: Surprise
Round Four: Tag-team boxing
Round Four: Ready to rumble part I
Round Four: Ready to rumble part II
Round Five: Arts and crafts
Round Five: Arts and crafts Pt. II
Round six: Battle of the wits
Ohno blearily glanced at it, “comedy.”
As soon as he heard the word, Ryo felt any hope he had quickly dissipate.
There was one thing Yamapi couldn’t do on camera, and it was also the thing he was going to have to do in the coming week.
Yamapi’s expression remained unchanged. He knew exactly what was going to happen next…
“Easy win!” Jin said with a grin, earning him a dirty look from Yamapi.
His best friend could at least have the decency to wait until they were off stage to say that. Then again, he could hardly count tact to be one of Jin’s greatest facets of efficiency. Stupidity seemed more aligned with him than anything else.
“Shush!” Koki said, pressing a finger to his mouth.
Jin didn’t look at all ready to be quite, but the dark look he was getting from Kamenashi was more than enough to shut him up for the moment.
“Now, let’s not get all riled up,” Nino said.
Ohno nodded in agreement, “yeah, the challenge isn’t set until next week.”
And without another word, Nino abruptly ended the show by ushering the juniors on stage for their last songs.
* * *
“You really have a big mouth!” Ueda said, as soon as the group had successfully made their way backstage.
“I do not!” Jin replied, “I just speak the truth!”
“Has no one told you? The truth is overrated,” Ueda quoted.
Jin blinked at him, quite obviously it wasn’t anything he’d heard before.
“Why do I even try?” Ueda muttered to himself, before turning away and busing himself with wiping off the remnants of make-up on his face.
“This isn’t working,” Kamenashi said with a shake of his head, “you’re going to have to shower now.”
“Yeah, I’ll pass on that,” Koki said, shrugging his wifebeater off.
“Oh yuck, Koki-kun, you’re going to smell!” Taguchi said, wrinkling his nose.
Koki blinked at him, “I really don’t care, maybe it’ll keep those rabid fangirls away, you know some of them are standing outside right now waiting for us to leave.”
Taguchi thought it over, “you’re right, can I have some ‘eau de Koki’?”
“’Ew de what?” Koki asked, scandalized.
Taguchi got to his feet and instead of answering threw his arms around Koki and innocently started squeezing and gyrating in ways that Koki really thought were unnatural.
“What are you doing?” Nakamaru demanded, having just walked in.
“I want some ‘eau de Koki’” Taguchi explained, before continuing to squeeze Koki.
Nakamaru blinked, as Koki attempted to wrestle himself out of Taguchi’s grip, all the while Taguchi seemed adamant about holding on, going so far as to wring his long limbs around Koki’s waist, sending the two tumbling onto the floor.
Undeterred Taguchi still smashed himself against Koki, grinding lightly against his chest, and sticking his head into the crook of the smaller man’s neck.
“You do realize how highly inappropriate this is looking, right?” Ueda said, throwing the two a look from the mirror.
“Yep, it’s called sexual harassment, and I think Nakamaru’s getting a little too happy here,” Jin added giving Nakamaru a poke.
In unison Koki and Taguchi glanced over at Nakamaru who turned beet red and quickly shook his head in defense, “no, no!”
Taguchi sat up, untangling his leg from the knot it had formed between Koki’s legs, “Nakamaru do you want some ‘eau de Koki’?”
Shuffling to his feet, Taguchi looked ready to prance had Koki not moved his leg in time to send a swift kick at him that sent Taguchi toppling to the ground by Kamenashi’s feet.
“Nakamaru doesn’t want any stinking ‘ew de whatever’!” Koki said.
“’eau de Koki’” Taguchi corrected, as Kamenashi wordlessly helped him up.
“Whatever,” Koki replied with an eye roll.
Kamenashi shook his head, “let’s all just get out of here.”
“But we need to strategize!” Jin cried.
“Strategize what?” Kamenashi asked.
“How to win next week!”
“We don’t even know what Kame’s going to have to do,” Ueda said.
“Exactly, besides it’s going to be some strange little impromptu type of thing,” Kamenashi added.
“Anyway, Kazu’s easily got this in the bag, all he has to do is charm the judges,” Koki said.
Jin blinked, that did make a lot of sense.
“That’s true, besides Kame’s an attention whore and Pi’s not, so it’ll definitely be an easy win,” Jin said with a nod, seeming not to care that he had just insulted his singing partner.
Kamenashi glared at the back of Jin’s head as the latter lightly bounced out of the room.
“The things I put up with,” he muttered to himself, as he stalked out after Jin.
* * *
“We’re goners,” Ryo moaned, slipping onto the couch face first, not at all caring that Shige was about to hop onto it.
“We’re not goners yet,” Shige said irritably, his patience was slowly growing thin with Ryo and his unending pessimism, it seemed every time the new theme of the challenge was revealed Ryo always claimed they would lose.
“Yeah, Yamashita-kun can be very…eh…amusing sometimes,” Koyama said, from his corner where he sat with Tegoshi, gently picking out bits of food from his hair.
“When he’s not on camera, otherwise everyone see’s him as the guy with the nice lips and ‘dead fish eyes’!” Ryo replied, voice muffled by the couch’s cushioning.
“That’s not true, Yamashita-kun did a very funny impersonation of the Weider Jelly spokesperson,” Massu interjected.
“That was only funny because it was sad!” Ryo bit back.
Massu looked rather taken aback, as Ryo hardly ever used that tone of voice with him.
“If we lose this round, we might actually lose the whole competition!” Tegoshi wailed.
“We’re not losing anything just yet,” Shige said. “We’re still ahead of them by one, so don’t get your panties in a knot, alright?”
Tegoshi was left speechless, Shige hardly ever cut into conversations so curtly, let alone when they involved Yamapi or Ryo.
“Shige’s right, we’re still ahead by one,” Yamapi said, looking completely unfazed that his group was discussing his merits right in front of him. “I will try my best to win this round, but if I don’t we still have one last chance…” his voice trailed off as his gaze landed on Masuda.
All eyes turned to Masuda, and he hesitantly dropped his bag of carrots.
“Massu, will win, hands down,” Tegoshi said, sagely.
Ryo got to his feet and lightly thumped Masuda on the back, “all our hopes rest with you now.”
And without another word Ryo left the room, undoubtedly off to another appointment.
Masuda sat speechless, his eyes roving the room and landing on Yamapi, who was diligently packing his things away.
His leader really did have a wicked side didn’t he?
* * *
“DOMO!” Yabu cried out languidly, waving at the audience enthusiastically.
Ryutaro attempted to do the same with a soft smile on his face, although already quite used to being in the spotlight, he still found himself a bit bashful in front of cameras.
“We’ll be your hosts for today,” Yabu announced. “So let’s get ready for some fun!”
The audience seemed pleased to hear the announcement and made sure to show it by letting out a few screams, squeals and laughter.
Yabu nodded enthusiastically, “That’s what I like to hear!”
“Now I think it’s time to introduce our guests,” Yabu said to Ryutaro, who nodded in response.
“Let’s welcome NEWS and KAT-TUN back!” Ryutaro announced, and in unison the two groups trouped onto the stage. Yamapi and Kamenashi leading.
The audience let out shrieks and yells, as the applause grew thunderous.
Again turning to Ryutaro, Yabu began the MC “So this week’s theme is comedy.”
Ryutaro nodded, “This will be a funny turnout.”
“Exactly, now do you want to explain this event?” Yabu suggested.
“This will be a battle that tests our competitors wit, intelligence and ability to make us all laugh,” Ryutaro explained.
“So we’ll be having a bag brought out,” Yabu said, and as though by magic a junior ran right up from behind and handed Yabu a rather large bag.
“And this bag will contain every member of the agency,” Ryutaro added, giving the bag a shake for emphasis.
“Both of you competitors will have to blindly pull out a name, and your opponent will have to impersonate them! While we decide who does this best,” Yabu finished.
Turning to Ryutaro, Yabu asked, “how will we judge them?”
“Funniest,” Ryutaro answered quickly.
“Funniest?”
“Funniest.”
Shige watched rather amused as the two boys seemed to have a conversation with only their eyes.
“Funniest it is,” Yabu said with a grin.
“So if Yamashita-san will come forward,” Ryutaro asked.
“And if Kamenashi-kun will come forward,” Yabu said, beckoning him forward.
Soon enough the two were situated around a small circular table with Yabu and Ryutaro holding the bag in between them.
“As KAT-TUN won the last round, it will be Yamashita-kun who begins the round,” Ryutaro said, holding the bag out to the much taller man.
Calmly, eyes totally unchanged and devoid of human emotion, Yamapi’s steady hand reached forward and roamed the bag, until he plucked a slip of paper out of the bag.
Threading it between his fingers, he squinted at the small kanji and read, “Murakami Shingo-san.”
Kamenashi blinked, well that’s a little random, but steeled himself nonetheless. He wasn’t going down without a fight,
* * *
A/N: Hey guys! I'm going to start off by saying sorry, again for taking so long to update. I know it's been months since my last update, but I've been all over the place for the last few weeks. So again, sorry for the long wait.
As I said in my last update, the fic is actually almost finished, I'm estimating about 3-4 more chapters to the end, which I hope to punch out very soon. I've got the next chapter nearly finished, so I'm hoping to get it edited and post it next week.
My semester at school will be starting again next week, but I'm hoping to finish up the fic by the end of February or at least early March, So let's all cross our fingers for that XD
Anyway I hope you guys liked this last chapter =)
Comments and criticisms are always appreciated!
Starring: NEWS, KAT-TUN cameo's from Kanjani8 and HSJ
Rating: PG but subject to change as Jin, Ryo and Ueda have such a wonderful way with words XD
Summary: Shounnen club proudly presents its newest segment, in which two of the biggest idol groups of the country shall face each other in the biggest battle to see who shall reign supreme.
Author's Note: This is the first time I've ever written a multi-chaptered crack-fic. I'm not even really sure it's allowed, but I'm doing it anyway!
Disclaimer: I don't own anyone, if I did this wouldn't be fiction. It would totally happen!
Previous Chapters
Prologue
Round one:Preparations
Round one: Cosplay
Round one: Cosplay part II
Round Two: Ueda Vs Koyama
Round Two: Ueda Vs Koyama part II
Round Three: Ryo Vs ???
Round Three: Lollipop
Round Four: Surprise
Round Four: Tag-team boxing
Round Four: Ready to rumble part I
Round Four: Ready to rumble part II
Round Five: Arts and crafts
Round Five: Arts and crafts Pt. II
Round six: Battle of the wits
Ohno blearily glanced at it, “comedy.”
As soon as he heard the word, Ryo felt any hope he had quickly dissipate.
There was one thing Yamapi couldn’t do on camera, and it was also the thing he was going to have to do in the coming week.
Yamapi’s expression remained unchanged. He knew exactly what was going to happen next…
“Easy win!” Jin said with a grin, earning him a dirty look from Yamapi.
His best friend could at least have the decency to wait until they were off stage to say that. Then again, he could hardly count tact to be one of Jin’s greatest facets of efficiency. Stupidity seemed more aligned with him than anything else.
“Shush!” Koki said, pressing a finger to his mouth.
Jin didn’t look at all ready to be quite, but the dark look he was getting from Kamenashi was more than enough to shut him up for the moment.
“Now, let’s not get all riled up,” Nino said.
Ohno nodded in agreement, “yeah, the challenge isn’t set until next week.”
And without another word, Nino abruptly ended the show by ushering the juniors on stage for their last songs.
* * *
“You really have a big mouth!” Ueda said, as soon as the group had successfully made their way backstage.
“I do not!” Jin replied, “I just speak the truth!”
“Has no one told you? The truth is overrated,” Ueda quoted.
Jin blinked at him, quite obviously it wasn’t anything he’d heard before.
“Why do I even try?” Ueda muttered to himself, before turning away and busing himself with wiping off the remnants of make-up on his face.
“This isn’t working,” Kamenashi said with a shake of his head, “you’re going to have to shower now.”
“Yeah, I’ll pass on that,” Koki said, shrugging his wifebeater off.
“Oh yuck, Koki-kun, you’re going to smell!” Taguchi said, wrinkling his nose.
Koki blinked at him, “I really don’t care, maybe it’ll keep those rabid fangirls away, you know some of them are standing outside right now waiting for us to leave.”
Taguchi thought it over, “you’re right, can I have some ‘eau de Koki’?”
“’Ew de what?” Koki asked, scandalized.
Taguchi got to his feet and instead of answering threw his arms around Koki and innocently started squeezing and gyrating in ways that Koki really thought were unnatural.
“What are you doing?” Nakamaru demanded, having just walked in.
“I want some ‘eau de Koki’” Taguchi explained, before continuing to squeeze Koki.
Nakamaru blinked, as Koki attempted to wrestle himself out of Taguchi’s grip, all the while Taguchi seemed adamant about holding on, going so far as to wring his long limbs around Koki’s waist, sending the two tumbling onto the floor.
Undeterred Taguchi still smashed himself against Koki, grinding lightly against his chest, and sticking his head into the crook of the smaller man’s neck.
“You do realize how highly inappropriate this is looking, right?” Ueda said, throwing the two a look from the mirror.
“Yep, it’s called sexual harassment, and I think Nakamaru’s getting a little too happy here,” Jin added giving Nakamaru a poke.
In unison Koki and Taguchi glanced over at Nakamaru who turned beet red and quickly shook his head in defense, “no, no!”
Taguchi sat up, untangling his leg from the knot it had formed between Koki’s legs, “Nakamaru do you want some ‘eau de Koki’?”
Shuffling to his feet, Taguchi looked ready to prance had Koki not moved his leg in time to send a swift kick at him that sent Taguchi toppling to the ground by Kamenashi’s feet.
“Nakamaru doesn’t want any stinking ‘ew de whatever’!” Koki said.
“’eau de Koki’” Taguchi corrected, as Kamenashi wordlessly helped him up.
“Whatever,” Koki replied with an eye roll.
Kamenashi shook his head, “let’s all just get out of here.”
“But we need to strategize!” Jin cried.
“Strategize what?” Kamenashi asked.
“How to win next week!”
“We don’t even know what Kame’s going to have to do,” Ueda said.
“Exactly, besides it’s going to be some strange little impromptu type of thing,” Kamenashi added.
“Anyway, Kazu’s easily got this in the bag, all he has to do is charm the judges,” Koki said.
Jin blinked, that did make a lot of sense.
“That’s true, besides Kame’s an attention whore and Pi’s not, so it’ll definitely be an easy win,” Jin said with a nod, seeming not to care that he had just insulted his singing partner.
Kamenashi glared at the back of Jin’s head as the latter lightly bounced out of the room.
“The things I put up with,” he muttered to himself, as he stalked out after Jin.
* * *
“We’re goners,” Ryo moaned, slipping onto the couch face first, not at all caring that Shige was about to hop onto it.
“We’re not goners yet,” Shige said irritably, his patience was slowly growing thin with Ryo and his unending pessimism, it seemed every time the new theme of the challenge was revealed Ryo always claimed they would lose.
“Yeah, Yamashita-kun can be very…eh…amusing sometimes,” Koyama said, from his corner where he sat with Tegoshi, gently picking out bits of food from his hair.
“When he’s not on camera, otherwise everyone see’s him as the guy with the nice lips and ‘dead fish eyes’!” Ryo replied, voice muffled by the couch’s cushioning.
“That’s not true, Yamashita-kun did a very funny impersonation of the Weider Jelly spokesperson,” Massu interjected.
“That was only funny because it was sad!” Ryo bit back.
Massu looked rather taken aback, as Ryo hardly ever used that tone of voice with him.
“If we lose this round, we might actually lose the whole competition!” Tegoshi wailed.
“We’re not losing anything just yet,” Shige said. “We’re still ahead of them by one, so don’t get your panties in a knot, alright?”
Tegoshi was left speechless, Shige hardly ever cut into conversations so curtly, let alone when they involved Yamapi or Ryo.
“Shige’s right, we’re still ahead by one,” Yamapi said, looking completely unfazed that his group was discussing his merits right in front of him. “I will try my best to win this round, but if I don’t we still have one last chance…” his voice trailed off as his gaze landed on Masuda.
All eyes turned to Masuda, and he hesitantly dropped his bag of carrots.
“Massu, will win, hands down,” Tegoshi said, sagely.
Ryo got to his feet and lightly thumped Masuda on the back, “all our hopes rest with you now.”
And without another word Ryo left the room, undoubtedly off to another appointment.
Masuda sat speechless, his eyes roving the room and landing on Yamapi, who was diligently packing his things away.
His leader really did have a wicked side didn’t he?
* * *
“DOMO!” Yabu cried out languidly, waving at the audience enthusiastically.
Ryutaro attempted to do the same with a soft smile on his face, although already quite used to being in the spotlight, he still found himself a bit bashful in front of cameras.
“We’ll be your hosts for today,” Yabu announced. “So let’s get ready for some fun!”
The audience seemed pleased to hear the announcement and made sure to show it by letting out a few screams, squeals and laughter.
Yabu nodded enthusiastically, “That’s what I like to hear!”
“Now I think it’s time to introduce our guests,” Yabu said to Ryutaro, who nodded in response.
“Let’s welcome NEWS and KAT-TUN back!” Ryutaro announced, and in unison the two groups trouped onto the stage. Yamapi and Kamenashi leading.
The audience let out shrieks and yells, as the applause grew thunderous.
Again turning to Ryutaro, Yabu began the MC “So this week’s theme is comedy.”
Ryutaro nodded, “This will be a funny turnout.”
“Exactly, now do you want to explain this event?” Yabu suggested.
“This will be a battle that tests our competitors wit, intelligence and ability to make us all laugh,” Ryutaro explained.
“So we’ll be having a bag brought out,” Yabu said, and as though by magic a junior ran right up from behind and handed Yabu a rather large bag.
“And this bag will contain every member of the agency,” Ryutaro added, giving the bag a shake for emphasis.
“Both of you competitors will have to blindly pull out a name, and your opponent will have to impersonate them! While we decide who does this best,” Yabu finished.
Turning to Ryutaro, Yabu asked, “how will we judge them?”
“Funniest,” Ryutaro answered quickly.
“Funniest?”
“Funniest.”
Shige watched rather amused as the two boys seemed to have a conversation with only their eyes.
“Funniest it is,” Yabu said with a grin.
“So if Yamashita-san will come forward,” Ryutaro asked.
“And if Kamenashi-kun will come forward,” Yabu said, beckoning him forward.
Soon enough the two were situated around a small circular table with Yabu and Ryutaro holding the bag in between them.
“As KAT-TUN won the last round, it will be Yamashita-kun who begins the round,” Ryutaro said, holding the bag out to the much taller man.
Calmly, eyes totally unchanged and devoid of human emotion, Yamapi’s steady hand reached forward and roamed the bag, until he plucked a slip of paper out of the bag.
Threading it between his fingers, he squinted at the small kanji and read, “Murakami Shingo-san.”
Kamenashi blinked, well that’s a little random, but steeled himself nonetheless. He wasn’t going down without a fight,
* * *
A/N: Hey guys! I'm going to start off by saying sorry, again for taking so long to update. I know it's been months since my last update, but I've been all over the place for the last few weeks. So again, sorry for the long wait.
As I said in my last update, the fic is actually almost finished, I'm estimating about 3-4 more chapters to the end, which I hope to punch out very soon. I've got the next chapter nearly finished, so I'm hoping to get it edited and post it next week.
My semester at school will be starting again next week, but I'm hoping to finish up the fic by the end of February or at least early March, So let's all cross our fingers for that XD
Anyway I hope you guys liked this last chapter =)
Comments and criticisms are always appreciated!