(no subject)
lisa just called me, she didn't make states and ashley did.
its so gaaaaaay. she is way better and waaay more dedicated. why does shit have to turn out like this??
ive been so sad. i can't stop. all i do is think. i can't sleep at night because thoughts just keep going and going. i feel like my senior year was a bust. i feel like friendships i put so much into are gone. and i feel like its so hard to make new ones because i get shy around people i first meet. i hate waiting for graduation to roll around, i should be loooving this time in my life but really i feel so unsocial and just sit home, paint, listen to music , read, and watch movies. of course i have amazing times with lisa, steph, mike, and jslo. but all i do is get mad at my mother lately and cry because she is the one i take everything out on because i don't want to burden other people with my episodes.i just wish it could be like last year. the hood. and i wish i would stop being a pussy and call lindsey. and i wish i didn't just kid myself with tyler and fake feelings for him just so i can have a relationship.buuuut, i cant. cuz i SUCK
its so gaaaaaay. she is way better and waaay more dedicated. why does shit have to turn out like this??
ive been so sad. i can't stop. all i do is think. i can't sleep at night because thoughts just keep going and going. i feel like my senior year was a bust. i feel like friendships i put so much into are gone. and i feel like its so hard to make new ones because i get shy around people i first meet. i hate waiting for graduation to roll around, i should be loooving this time in my life but really i feel so unsocial and just sit home, paint, listen to music , read, and watch movies. of course i have amazing times with lisa, steph, mike, and jslo. but all i do is get mad at my mother lately and cry because she is the one i take everything out on because i don't want to burden other people with my episodes.i just wish it could be like last year. the hood. and i wish i would stop being a pussy and call lindsey. and i wish i didn't just kid myself with tyler and fake feelings for him just so i can have a relationship.buuuut, i cant. cuz i SUCK