(no subject)
Today was a shock and the most dreaded day I've had in a while.
I guess I shouldn't have been so sure everything was going to be okay with Papaw when I left him last night.
Megan had said he was running a fever last night and that's never good with a man in a his early nineties.
But, I really wasn't ready to be woken up to "Kaitlin we're going to see Papaw," with my sister barely able to get it out.
It was almost out of a movie since I kept saying why Megan, what's wrong and she still wouldn't answer.
I didn't honestly need an answer, I knew he hadn't been doing so well.
But, seeing him barely having another breath left in his lungs and non-responsive at all was so hard to watch.
I thought I would for the first time in my life watch a close family member breathe their last breath with me holding his hand, but no. He's a fighter and barely hanging on.
Maybe all the emotion of today was to help prepare us for the near future.
No matter what comes out of the upcoming week, one thing is for sure:
Papaw knows how high I think of him.
He knows how much I love him.
If he'll be at rest, as hard as it is for everyone, He needs it.
And we'll make it.
I guess I shouldn't have been so sure everything was going to be okay with Papaw when I left him last night.
Megan had said he was running a fever last night and that's never good with a man in a his early nineties.
But, I really wasn't ready to be woken up to "Kaitlin we're going to see Papaw," with my sister barely able to get it out.
It was almost out of a movie since I kept saying why Megan, what's wrong and she still wouldn't answer.
I didn't honestly need an answer, I knew he hadn't been doing so well.
But, seeing him barely having another breath left in his lungs and non-responsive at all was so hard to watch.
I thought I would for the first time in my life watch a close family member breathe their last breath with me holding his hand, but no. He's a fighter and barely hanging on.
Maybe all the emotion of today was to help prepare us for the near future.
No matter what comes out of the upcoming week, one thing is for sure:
Papaw knows how high I think of him.
He knows how much I love him.
If he'll be at rest, as hard as it is for everyone, He needs it.
And we'll make it.