NC-17 | A Most Awesome Coach | J2 AU | 2/2

[dugindeep]

Previous

Jensen would say it’s the sugar shock of ice cream and snickers and hot fudge and whip cream, but he’s pretty sure it’s just the way that Jared so effortlessly handles Nathan and makes him smile, and goofs around, like he was born to be a father. Because Jensen can’t stop smiling and laughing at the two as they clown around in the other side of the booth. Nathan keeps pushing himself into Jared’s lap, wiggling his body around and digging his spoon into Jared’s bowl of ice cream.

Jared pushes the kid away, looking like he’s manhandling him, but it’s all for fun and not all that forceful. He cuts a firm hand across the table, splitting the space between them. “You are grounded to that side of the table,” Jared laughs. “You just eat your sprinkle cone and I’ll eat my Chunky Monkey.”

“It’s Funky Monkey,” Nathan nearly whines. “There’s no nuts so there’s nothing chunky about it.”

He moves closer to Nathan, pushing his nose and forehead into the kid's face. “Know-it all.”

Nathan pushes right back, crossing his eyes. “Smartest kid in the second grade.”

“Gosh, so cocky, too,” Jared huffs, playfully annoyed and swiping a hand at Nathan’s head. “No idea where you get that from.”

He’s settled back in the booth, pressed against Jared, and focusing on his own ice cream. “Mama says I get it from you.”

Jared looks up to Jensen with a smirk as he rings an arm around Nathan, palm settling at his chest. “Your mama says a lot of things.”

“She says you quit Misha again.” Nathan looks up with a simple smile. “Did you really?”

He rubs over Nathan’s head before forcing him back to his cone. “Think you shouldn’t always listen to your mama.” Jared looks to Jensen and shrugs awkwardly. “Kids got ears.”

“Most do,” Jensen nods, not even knowing how to respond to the entire situation. He’s so awed by how adorable Nathan and Jared are together, but he knows he should keep his distance because there’s nothing good to come from this.

And he’s further silent when Nathan bounds off to the bathrooms and Jared folds his hands on the table and shifts. “Misha was an ex,” he shrugs awkwardly. “I don’t know how to keep Nathan from knowing what goes on, but he hears things.”

It’s a rough swallow of his ice cream, hurting in the way his muscles mismanage it and then way too cold in his throat. “An ex?” He motions his spoon at Jared. “I thought … you and Sandy?”

Jared shakes his head quickly. “Oh, no. Big D. Been a few years now. That’s why we have troubles getting him around to soccer since we’re never in the same place at the same time. You’d think it’d be easier, having two different parents and cars and houses but it’s just that much harder,” he rattles off. And by now, Jensen can tell this is what he does when he’s nervous.

Jensen works his throat through the rest of his ice cream and then says weakly, “Sorry? I feel like I should say sorry.”

He smirks and waves a hand. “No, it’s fine. Like I said, a few years. And it was kinda over a few years before that. But it ended okay enough. Neither of us wanted to screw Nathan up. It would’ve given me an even bigger guilt trip for ending it.”

The questions are on the tip of his tongue but Nathan launches himself across the bench and jumps at Jared with a big growl and they playfully fight arms away until Nathan gets a slap to Jared’s face and giggles like there is nothing else in the world as funny. It wasn’t that loud, and likely not even hurtful, but Jared tugs on Nathan’s hands with a low, “Hey, buddy, you’re playing too rough now.”

“Sorry,” Nathan frowns as he slinks down against Jared and rests his head at Jared’s arm.

Jensen frowns then, too, seeing how dejected he is. He wonders if Nathan ever gets reprimanded by Jared, because he seems like he's the goofy, drop-in parent who brings all the fun. He leans forward and pushes his cup across the table. “You know, Nathan? Think you played well enough for two scoops. What d’ya say?”

Nathan’s head tips up to Jared’s and waits for his response. He shifts and raises his arm so Nathan can rest against him and he rubs at Nathan’s shoulder while rolling his eyes at Jensen. “You’re killing me, man.”

He smirks and nudges the cup closer with a wink. “I think that’s a yes, dude.”

Another hour creeps by as Jensen watches Jared and Nathan play around. He gets little tidbits about Nathan’s school and how he’s number one in the math program and he also wants to play tee ball, but his mom said one sport at a time, so come spring he might do that. But he asks Jensen about more soccer leagues.

“Yeah, we got a spring league. But also some winter practices,” he nods back to Nathan before looking to Jared. “At the dome, they have some weekend seminars.”

“Do you coach those, too?” Nathan asks excitedly.

He smirks back. “Yeah, I got some of those. Think you wanna do that?”

“Do I have to listen to you all the time or will there be other adults to boss me around?”

Jensen laughs at Nathan’s tiny smile and looks for a second at Jared. “Depends. You gonna bring that goofy mug around my fields?”

“No way!” he yells as he sits up with a huge grin. “I’m like the new MVP. I’m your new high scorer. You can’t not play me. Hafta.”

He laughs some more and catches Jared’s smile. It’s comforting but distracting. He should really stop looking at him.

When they get to the parking lot, Jared’s grinning as he pushes Nathan up into the driver’s side of the truck. “Don’t go too far, ya hear?” he instructs with a finger while his other hand turns over the keys.

“Okay, dad,” Nathan sighs as he turns the keys over to accessories so he can play with the radio.

Jared quietly closes the door and turns to Jensen. “I had a nice time,” he nods.

Jensen’s hands go right into his pockets and smiles as he looks around the lot, trying so hard to not focus on how contagious Jared’s smiles are. “Yeah. Thanks for inviting me.” When he looks back to Jared, the smile is smaller and his bottom lips slowly flips in as he bites it. Jensen nearly shrugs. “What’s up?”

“We should do this again.”

His head tips to the side for a quick second. “I’m sorry?”

Jared’s hands go to his pockets and he’s subconsciously mimicking Jensen, going so far as the rock so slightly back and forth. “Get ice cream, or a snack. After the games.”

Jensen’s heart starts to pick up, beating so wildly. “I, uh,” he lamely says, because he’s not sure what Jared’s really asking him.

“No, it’s cool,” Jared cuts right in, waving a hand. “Don’t worry. I bet you shouldn’t spend too much time with any of the kids,” he rambles quickly as he turns to the truck and opens the door. “Don’t want people to think you’re playing favorites with Nathan. It’s fine.”

There’s nothing more than a quick goodbye before Jared’s starting the car and leaving the parking lot, but Jensen doesn’t move until they’re out of sight.

*

Sandy drops Nathan off at practice and Jensen’s cursing himself for the drop of his stomach, for the disappointment running around his brain. She gives him a tight smile as she approaches even while they’re both watching Nathan run across the field to join the team in running laps.

“Nathan said you guys got ice cream?” she asks carefully.

He turns quickly and stares down, unable to say much more.

“I don’t mind. I think you’re good with the kids. Just … ”

His stomach turns over itself and he feels like this is his worst nightmare. A parent thinking he’s close, too close, and is going to start saying something to other parents. “No, look. It was just. We just sat, ate ice cream. I barely talked to him,” he says quickly, then curses himself for how ridiculous that sounds. “I just watched him and Jared. Talked to Jared a bit.”

She nearly frowns. “Yeah, I know.” Her head tips to the side and she throws a quick glance to the field, to Nathan, before turning back and looking guilty. “You think that I think something happened?”

Jensen coughs and takes a deep breath. “How about you just say what you think happened then we can talk it out?”

“I think Jared likes you,” she says. Plain as day. Like it’s no big deal.

He swallows, and Jesus, how is his mouth always so dry when he’s thinking about or talking to Jared. He really needs to drink more water.

Sandy’s head turns a bit, like she’s judging him from the corner of her eye. “You didn’t … you’re not, are you?”

“Aren’t what?”

Her mouth tightens, like she doesn’t want to say it, and she looks more uncomfortable when she has to glance around to see if anyone is within distance to hear them. “Jared and I separated when he realized he was gay.” Then she runs on quickly, as if she has to say something nice after dropping that bomb. “He’s a total sweetheart and a wonderful father. But you know, not so much in liking women.”

Jensen stares for a good amount of time until his mouth can finally work out, “Yeah, I … ” Then he stalls and can’t get the rest out. Instead he says, “I’m Nathan’s coach.”

“I know,” she frowns. “That’s the thing. Just … I don’t want Nathan to get … I don’t want him in the middle. You know?”

He runs a hand over his head and scratches hard nails into his scalp the whole way. “Yeah. That’d be … That could be bad.”

Sandy’s fingers curl over themselves as she watches Nathan jog around the field and chase a ball with a few other kids, uncoordinated but laughing brilliantly. “He barely met Misha before they broke up. I don’t think he knows better but … ” Her voice softens and she smiles sadly. “He really likes soccer. And he really likes you. I don’t want it to be ruined.”

Jensen clears his throat and nods, feeling his professionalism kick right back into place. “No, yeah. I know. I totally understand. Don’t worry.” He waves a hand in the air between them. “Nothing happened. I swear. Just ice cream. Don’t worry.”

She nods again, still with a sad smile. “Not that I don’t want Jared to be happy, but Nathan’s everything.”

He nods, and understands. And he realizes his heart is crushed just minutes after hearing that Jared actually likes him.

*

It’s hard on Saturday to watch the game while being so aware of Jared on the sidelines. His loud voice, his happy laughter at the shenanigans on the field when kids trip over one other and kick the ball into each other’s legs, and spectacularly fail at properly kicking the ball into the goal.

The black team is running their team ragged, even if they’re not scoring. They’re all quick with tiny legs and even quicker reactions to the ball changing directions all over the field. All his kids are getting winded and he’s doing his best to shuffle them in and out so they get enough rest. And it’s all he can do to not frown when he calls for Nathan. It’s the first time in weeks he’s asked him to come out, but the kid’s cheeks are fire engine red and his chest is heaving way too much.

Nathan’s all whimpers as he shuffles off the field and Jensen tries for a smile as he swipes a hand over his head. “You’re doing good, buddy. Just get some air, alright?”

“Alright,” he mumbles as he moves over to Sandy and Jared.

Jensen tries to not watch too much, but he sees from the corner of his eye when Nathan just watches the field and Jared comes up right behind him. His arms reach down to hug Nathan, and his hands rub over the kid’s stomach, trying to tickle and laugh. Nathan’s fighting it, but he does lean back against Jared and holds into Jared’s wrists. Jared leans further forward, his head upside down to Nathan’s as he smiles so brightly and says something about being proud of him - Jensen can only hear so much - and then pops a kiss on his forehead, ignoring how Nathan weakly protests to the affection.

They win again, bringing their record to 4-4 with just two games left. Everyone’s happy with the last few games, the wins and how happy all the kids have been after each one. The parents glad-hand Jensen and dish out thank yous as they move off the field and Jensen tries to get a few things off the ground before the next teams come for the next game.

When he stands up, Jared’s there on his own. Jensen looks around for Sandy and Nathan, but Jared just clears his throat. “Sandy’s weekend. They’re going to Chucky Cheese.”

“Man,” Jensen shakes his head with a tight smile that wants to break wide. “Pizza, talking animals, and a ball pit. Don’t think ice cream can compete.”

“Yeah, I know. She’s always undermining me,” Jared laughs. But Jensen stiffens, remembering the conversation from Wednesday’s practice. “You wanna grab lunch?”

Jensen fumbles with the edges of his ball bag and mashes his lips together. His heart thumps against his chest and he knows what he wants to say, but knows what he should. He shrugs oddly. “I’m Nathan’s coach, ya know?”

Jared’s face tightens and he shrugs awkwardly. “It’s just lunch.”

He shakes his head a little, “I don’t think it’s just lunch.” Jensen sees how Jared’s throat bulges with a rough swallow and how he fights to remain smiling, but it’s difficult and it makes Jensen feel so guilty. “I’d like to,” he says gently. “But I think it might be better if we don’t.”

It takes a few seconds for Jared to reply, but then he’s nodding with a stern face. “No, you’re right. Absolutely. I’m sorry I put you in an uncomfortable position.”

Jensen looks to the ground and the bag of balls before he tries lightly, “Nathan got a ball at home?”

Jared’s head shakes and his face clears, like an etch-a-sketch, and his smile is light and thoughtful, like he’s only focused on his son right now. “At Sandy’s, yeah.”

He reaches in and palms a ball that he tosses to Jared. “He could use some work on his dribbling.”

The ball starts bouncing on the ground as Jared works it like a basketball. “I thought no hands?” he asks with a smirk.

Jensen moves forward, punching his foot down as the ball hits the ground and he ably shuffles it back and pops it between his feet. He taps the top of the ball then rolls his foot down, drawing the ball towards him as he backs up. He tucks his toes just beneath it and pops it up into the air, catching it in one hand. He knows he’s smirking, and that it’s a little smug. “Dribbling.”

Jared smiles as he catches the ball Jensen launches over. “How much it cost for you to teach Nathan that?”

He smiles right back, too easily for just saying no to something he wanted so much, like he didn’t just reject Jared’s hopeful face. “Get him into the winter camps. He’s good for a beginner. But he could be better. I see some promise.”

His hands fumble the ball back and forth and Jared’s lips curl. “Thanks.” He nods and motions the ball between them. “For this, too.”

“Consider it a consolation prize.” Jared looks at him oddly. “I’ll be an awesome coach.”

*

The next two weeks are rough. Jared still comes, and they still smile and joke around, but it never lasts as long as it had earlier in the season. And he knows it’s because they always reach this point where Jared wants to say more, but knows he can’t. Knows he shouldn’t.

Sandy brings Nathan for the last practice and she gives him a careful smile and tiny nod, like she’s thanking him for not saying yes to Jared. It hurts, but at least he can smile at Nathan and know that the kid is still sane and won’t be mixing up any feelings about seeing his coach outside of soccer.

He announces to the whole team and the parents that he’s having his annual season-ending BBQ at his house, and invites them all, says he’ll hand out trophies then and he even drops hints about winter camps and the spring leagues. He doesn’t like to sell it and make it seem like a trap - I’ll feed you food then convince you sign your kids up for more rec leagues. He just likes the kids this year, even Chrissy, now that she’s accepted that teams win and lose, and yeah, winning is more fun, but it’s okay to lose, too. And he wants more kids participating in the sport, and learning, and getting better and just all around loving it the way he does.

At the end of their last game, he takes a knee among the team and shares big smiles and great words about how well they played this year and how proud he is of how far they’ve all come along. And like he always does at this moment, during the year-end speech on the field, he gets wet, stinging eyes as he sees the excitement in all the little faces for enjoying the fall league and getting so excited for his BBQ and their trophies.

The kids and various siblings are shrieking around his huge backyard while parents laugh and mingle and bend his ear over their kids’ play and potential for next season. Each and every time, he tells them about the winter leagues and encourages every single parent to keep their kids involved. “Even just a ball around the yard. Keep ‘em playing,” he smiles to them all. “I’m not begging you to join the indoor camps, but it won’t hurt.”

He’s enjoying the afternoon, and most of all he enjoys watching everyone have a good time. Glad that he can give this party to a good group of kids and parents who mostly left him alone - there are always a few over-zealous parents who beg for more playing time, but this year was pretty damned good. He wishes he could keep them all for another year, but knows that most of them are on the cusp to transfer from pee wee to juniors next year. He’ll get over it. He always does.

*

Jensen can’t miss Jared. He’s literally head and shoulders above everyone, and his laugh is loud and happy. If he wasn’t such a nice guy, such a funny guy, that laugh would be obnoxious. But it’s not. And Jensen hadn’t realized how much he’d missed it over the last two weeks while keeping distance from Jared.

When he gets near Jared, the guy turns and smirks before looking a little guilty. “Hey,” he nods. Jensen smiles and nods back. “I promised Nathan I’d come.” His voice drops a little, “Not like I’m trying to trap you or anything.”

He takes a moment to think then smiles with a playful curve. “You did show up at my house. It's a little bit creepy.”

Jared nods with a hidden smirk. “No, I know. But didn’t think I could explain to my seven-year-old why it would be inappropriate for me to be here.”

Jensen instantly waves a hand and shakes his head with a smile. “No, don’t worry. It’s cool.” Before he can think better of it, he pats Jared’s arm and squeezes for a quick moment before moving away. “Glad you could make it.”

He nods again then breaks suddenly. “You are an awesome coach.”

“Hmm?” Jensen sounds as he turns back to Jared.

“You said you’d be an awesome coach for Nathan. As consolation? But you already are. Especially for … you know,” he says nervously, twirling a hand in the air. “You were right about that. So right. And I really appreciate that. Putting Nathan first.”

Jensen clears his throat as he looks around, making sure no one can hear them. It seems everyone else is focused on their conversations and the kids. He moves closer so it stays that way. It takes him time to work it out, but he finally says. “You’re a great dad. And that’s … that’s almost better than anything else about you. If I wasn’t Nathan’s coach, I would’ve definitely said yes.”

Jared’s face softens, torn between a smile and a frown, and Jensen knows how that feels. It’s exactly what he did when he had to say no to Jared.

*

Most of the crowd is gone and Jensen’s cleaning up his family room, handling as many empty pop cans and plates as he can when he’s got company in the form of Jared helping to clear some more things away. “Oh, hey,” he smirks, trying to ignore how startled he is.

“Didn’t want to leave without helping a little.”

Jensen crushes most of the things in his arms to his chest and just watches Jared. “You don’t have to. I’m sure you gotta get Nathan home.”

Jared turns to the kitchen and deposits all the garbage he’d collected. “Sandy took him home.” He stands up and watches Jensen slowly move into the room. Jensen is unnerved by the gaze, because it’s steady and intense but he can’t break from it. Even when Jared carefully pulls the cans and plates away Jensen and tosses them into the can.

There are no big words and nothing that really triggers them. They just keep staring in the kitchen until Jensen turns towards the hallway and leans his ear out.

“Everyone’s gone,” Jared says quietly.

Jensen stares back, getting it so clearly right now. He swallows and feels weak because all he does is give a small nod to set Jared off before he’s crowding Jensen’s space and dipping down for a soft kiss. Jared’s hands are hanging in the air near Jensen’s arms, like he wants to grab him but doesn’t know if he should. Jensen moves forward for another kiss, sucking gently on lips then tilting away to kiss at another direction, just feeling it out and wanting to discover the best angle.

He finds that when Jared’s head is tipped away from his, a little to the right, he can notch his mouth just a little off-center so that the tongues swipe in a near perfect pattern and the lips edge around teeth and he doesn’t want to move from the moment. Because the kissing is way beyond what he’d imagined for all these weeks of staring at Jared’s mouth.

Jared’s hands slip under his arms, resting at the bottom of his shoulder blades, pressing in with fingertips that are insistent and kneading. Jensen holds Jared’s slim waist and pushes himself against Jared’s broad chest, and just takes this moment as what it can be. A moment. He’s willing it to be so good to satisfy his want, but not so great that he’ll beg for it again, because he has to be sensible about it. Has to keep some distance. But he wants this one night right here.

Jensen mumbles against Jared’s mouth. “We do this, you gonna take away my awesome coach status?”

He smirks against Jensen and walks them to the wall so he can lean against him and work the kisses exactly how he wants. “I do that and you’ll have to strip me of my great dadness.”

“Strip, yeah,” Jensen mumbles.

They go on kissing more, getting deeper and more intense, but keeping it there. Like high school makeouts, and Jensen loves the feel of Jared covering him, his large palms roaming his back and how the tongue is warm and insistent against his own. It goes on for so long, Jensen doesn’t know how long, but he doesn’t want to stop it. He does want to set a record for this, and keep it going as long as possible just so it’s not over.

“Is it true what they say,” Jared murmurs with his forehead pressed into Jensen’s. “About soccer players having great leg muscles?”

Jensen wants to know when they stopped kissing and why Jared’s talking. “Are you kidding me?”

Jared pushes on Jensen, forcing him harder into the wall. “I am totally serious about two things. My son. And blowjobs.”

Oh fuck Jensen whimpers to himself while pushing his hips right back at Jared’s. He nearly groans at the rock solid bulge in Jared’s jeans. “You asked about my legs …”

His hands go away from Jensen’s hips, fingers sweeping over the swell of his ass and then pressing tight into his upper thighs. “Well, yeah. ‘Cause I’ll be right there.” He squeezes again and nips at Jensen’s mouth. “That okay?”

Jensen nods numbly. “It’s more than okay.”

Before he realizes it, his jeans are unbuttoned and moving down to his ankles, along with Jared who’s suddenly kneeling and sweeping his palms over Jensen’s ass then down the back of his thighs. He presses his fingers in, squeezing while thumbs swipe against Jensen’s skin. Jared leans back a little and stares at his thighs, which is a little weird, considering his dick is red and hard and, like, right there. “Jesus, Jen,” he whispers while grabbing tighter to his legs. “These muscles.”

“Hey, uh,” Jensen nearly chokes. “Can you take care of that other muscle?” Jared looks up with a smirk and Jensen lamely adds, “Please?”

The second Jared’s mouth takes Jensen down, his hands shoot right into Jared’s hair, threading through and closing around tendrils, like he’d imagined that very first day. “Oh, fuck ... Jesus,” Jensen pants as Jared moves up and down, tongue swiping over and over, bobbing. So many different sensations that Jensen can’t properly log them all in his mind. All he knows is that it’s wet and hot and loud and Jared, and he curls his fingers tighter in his hair as his hips swing with Jared’s pace and then his mouth drops open and his head falls forward so he can watch Jared shift and swallow as Jensen comes without a second’s warning.

Jared strokes Jensen’s thighs a few times before he stands and leans against him, kissing slow and messy all while smiling against Jensen’s mouth. “Been wanting to do since I first saw you.’

He rests his head back on the wall and watches Jared’s smile. “That’s kinda pervy. Your son was there.”

With a laugh, Jared smacks at Jensen’s thigh. “Still true.”

“You’re a liar,” Jensen smirks.

Jared’s hand slips behind him, fingers running down his crack and covering his hole. “Yeah, you’re right. Wanted this.”

He bucks against him and chuckles. “Alright. But how ‘bout a breather? Just shot my brains out my dick. I need some time.”

“I really hope you don’t talk like that in front my kid.”

Jensen chuckles but then brightens up and gives him a thoughtful smile. “Nathan’ll be eight.”

His hands wrap around Jensen’s waist as he mouths along Jensen’s jaw. “Usually how it goes. One year after another.”

“He’ll be in juniors.”

“And?”

Jensen’s fingers slink into Jared’s hair again and he smiles. “Won’t be on my team anymore.”

Jared moves back into his eyesight and stares. “You’re happy about ditching my kid?”

“I won’t be his coach. I can be … whatever,” he adds with a shrug.

One eyebrow goes high then another, and soon enough, Jared’s mouth follows as he leans close to kiss. “You’ll be Just Jensen.”

“Yeah, exactly,” Jensen smiles back.

Here be timestamps!