(no subject)
I am having more fun going to class and hanging out on campus studying than I am hanging out at home playing with myself or playing the guitar. My friends and I tend to sit around, smoke, drink, and talk about what we could be doing - or what we wish we were doing - or what we aren't currently doing. Sometimes we even talk about how we aren't doing anything - and that's what we do. TV is fun occasionally - I enjoy comedy central and cartoon network especially late in the evening when I am sitting around with a small group of friends. I don't watch it by myself because I haven't got cable. Sometimes I watch things like Reno 911 and Futurama on my dvd player - but not terribly often. Usually that happens when I am drunk and I don't want to talk to anyone or think about anything (or go to bed).
So what's the point of all this? Dug doesn't usually write about these types of things. Well I have realized that I am more like my old self than I thought. I've spent the better part of last year DRUNK (mostly on whisky) and doing a lot of tangential thinking about the order and structure of the universe as well as the procession of my life and consciousness. I have gone out nearly as far as I can go into questionable interpretations of realities (mostly in association with aliens, angels, political and financial conspiracy theories, etc...) and at the same time re-orienting my "self" to my intrinsic Buddha-nature. Currently I feel like many of the 'program loops' in my bio-computer that have kept my consciousness relatively stagnant are slowly fading away, and I am beginning once again to see more of the subtle programming that exists underneath the surface of conscious mind. It has always been central to my quest for greater understanding, this awareness of the subtle foundations upon which our perception of ourselves and our world is based. Lately I have, as I said, been drunk and thinking in long tangents about ideas that have little immediate effect upon and a loose, indirect association with, the living out of my day to day life. This 'program loop' of thinking has largely subsided and I feel more "present" - that is more intimately aware of the Right Now. After all, THIS is where IT happens.
I'm writing this in part to externalize my thoughts and feelings on this subject which have only in the last couple of weeks organized themselves into an effective understanding of where the hell I am and what the hell I am doing. I'm also writing to display that side of my thinking and living from which I believe those of you who might read my journal are going to get the best insider's perspective. To keep from being too long-winded I'll conclude with a few more of what I consider mundane features of my life at the moment.
I'm still single and am not trying very hard to change that. There are girls I meet that I think I would like to date, and there are a couple girls I tried to date in the last couple of months - but being that I don't know how to go on a date, or talk to a girl when there is any measure of tension (sexual, social, you name it), I have not had any 'success' as it might be referred to in that area. I'm not ultimately looking for fulfillment through a relationship so it's difficult for me care enough to get involved. I have nothing against a relationship, though, but genuineness often gets left behind when people are merely being lustful or escaping loneliness. Love can sometimes be built on those types of relationships but it is not something that either party really has a conscious hand in. My point is I am not going to force any relationships - nor am I going to deny relationships that flower spontaneously. (Isn't it interesting the similarity between the words "flower" and "flow?")
I have been more "meditative" lately though I haven't actually been sitting in meditation. I plan on participating in a meditation retreat this weekend that's being held by some students of Paramahansa Sri Nithyananda Swami called "Life Bliss." It is FREE in honor of the Swami's recent birthday (Jan. 1st) and is being held in the conference room of the Super 8 Motel here in Norman. If any local Normanites or OKC Metro people want to join let me know soon! It is a great opportunity as this meditation program usually costs money. The program focuses on unblocking each individual chakra (or energy center) by doing a different meditation for each one. The meditations come from a variety of religious traditions and were taught to Nithyananda by his gurus in India and Tibet. I have done half of the program in the past and it definitely opened my eyes to aspects of myself I had not perceived before. I highly recommend it. If anyone really is interested there is a talk being given by the man who is teaching the Life Bliss Program this Thursday night at the OU Student Union at 7pm. I also have information about that event so contact me if you would like.
I am taking classes this semester dealing principally with religion and myth - and with the American West. I have a class called "America Through Western Film" and one called "History of the American Southwest" so I am waist-deep in issues of American identity (mostly formed through Western folklore) and the "Frontier Myth" aspects of American culture. I am fascinated by the West and an admitted fan of it. These classes are extremely interesting to me and as I speak nearly all of my Normanite friends are being drawn West in their own way. So I expect I will be discussing the themes that come up in these classes and how they relate directly to my life experience in the coming months.
I love responses and of course challenges/criticisms to what I have said. I haven't updated my journal with this much reflelctive thought in a long time so if anyone has any other specific questions about what I am up to I would be happy to oblige. It may turn into a more regular excercise for me in the near future - as I am starting to realize the virtue in journal-keeping as a tool to become more aware of the evolution (hopefully not de-evolution) of one's own consciousness. That's all for now, I am going to go play a couple songs on the guitar and perhaps do a little reading before I go to work.
So what's the point of all this? Dug doesn't usually write about these types of things. Well I have realized that I am more like my old self than I thought. I've spent the better part of last year DRUNK (mostly on whisky) and doing a lot of tangential thinking about the order and structure of the universe as well as the procession of my life and consciousness. I have gone out nearly as far as I can go into questionable interpretations of realities (mostly in association with aliens, angels, political and financial conspiracy theories, etc...) and at the same time re-orienting my "self" to my intrinsic Buddha-nature. Currently I feel like many of the 'program loops' in my bio-computer that have kept my consciousness relatively stagnant are slowly fading away, and I am beginning once again to see more of the subtle programming that exists underneath the surface of conscious mind. It has always been central to my quest for greater understanding, this awareness of the subtle foundations upon which our perception of ourselves and our world is based. Lately I have, as I said, been drunk and thinking in long tangents about ideas that have little immediate effect upon and a loose, indirect association with, the living out of my day to day life. This 'program loop' of thinking has largely subsided and I feel more "present" - that is more intimately aware of the Right Now. After all, THIS is where IT happens.
I'm writing this in part to externalize my thoughts and feelings on this subject which have only in the last couple of weeks organized themselves into an effective understanding of where the hell I am and what the hell I am doing. I'm also writing to display that side of my thinking and living from which I believe those of you who might read my journal are going to get the best insider's perspective. To keep from being too long-winded I'll conclude with a few more of what I consider mundane features of my life at the moment.
I'm still single and am not trying very hard to change that. There are girls I meet that I think I would like to date, and there are a couple girls I tried to date in the last couple of months - but being that I don't know how to go on a date, or talk to a girl when there is any measure of tension (sexual, social, you name it), I have not had any 'success' as it might be referred to in that area. I'm not ultimately looking for fulfillment through a relationship so it's difficult for me care enough to get involved. I have nothing against a relationship, though, but genuineness often gets left behind when people are merely being lustful or escaping loneliness. Love can sometimes be built on those types of relationships but it is not something that either party really has a conscious hand in. My point is I am not going to force any relationships - nor am I going to deny relationships that flower spontaneously. (Isn't it interesting the similarity between the words "flower" and "flow?")
I have been more "meditative" lately though I haven't actually been sitting in meditation. I plan on participating in a meditation retreat this weekend that's being held by some students of Paramahansa Sri Nithyananda Swami called "Life Bliss." It is FREE in honor of the Swami's recent birthday (Jan. 1st) and is being held in the conference room of the Super 8 Motel here in Norman. If any local Normanites or OKC Metro people want to join let me know soon! It is a great opportunity as this meditation program usually costs money. The program focuses on unblocking each individual chakra (or energy center) by doing a different meditation for each one. The meditations come from a variety of religious traditions and were taught to Nithyananda by his gurus in India and Tibet. I have done half of the program in the past and it definitely opened my eyes to aspects of myself I had not perceived before. I highly recommend it. If anyone really is interested there is a talk being given by the man who is teaching the Life Bliss Program this Thursday night at the OU Student Union at 7pm. I also have information about that event so contact me if you would like.
I am taking classes this semester dealing principally with religion and myth - and with the American West. I have a class called "America Through Western Film" and one called "History of the American Southwest" so I am waist-deep in issues of American identity (mostly formed through Western folklore) and the "Frontier Myth" aspects of American culture. I am fascinated by the West and an admitted fan of it. These classes are extremely interesting to me and as I speak nearly all of my Normanite friends are being drawn West in their own way. So I expect I will be discussing the themes that come up in these classes and how they relate directly to my life experience in the coming months.
I love responses and of course challenges/criticisms to what I have said. I haven't updated my journal with this much reflelctive thought in a long time so if anyone has any other specific questions about what I am up to I would be happy to oblige. It may turn into a more regular excercise for me in the near future - as I am starting to realize the virtue in journal-keeping as a tool to become more aware of the evolution (hopefully not de-evolution) of one's own consciousness. That's all for now, I am going to go play a couple songs on the guitar and perhaps do a little reading before I go to work.