(no subject)
DOUG'S TIPS FOR SURVIVING IN THIS WORLD:
1) You are going to die some day, realize this
2) Every single person you know is going to die some day
3) Everyone (at least everyone that we know) like money, need money, have money, life revolves around it, you can't make it with out it.
4) Everyone is shallow, those who say they are not are hypocrits, therefore if you want to impress someone, wear a suit(or whatever is appropriate you know what i mean), take a shower, brush your teeth, comb your hair, me i wear sweat pants all the time, fuck people, they wanna be shallow, suck it
5) Everyone is a hypocrit, those who say they aren't are the biggest ones.
6) The meaning of life is reproduction, this does not mean you have to start at 14, but there is also nothing wrong with practice. Don't look for another reason.
7) Even if there is a god, do you think he could grant us all our wishes, if he did, everyone would win the lottery and money would be worthless (hell doesn't sound that bad)
8) Religion has killed more people in our history as human beings then any disease or plague.
9) Assholes are just insecure about themselves
10) Confidence is one of the greatest virtues a person can have, along with Patience, ability to listen, money and shocking good looks, if you have any of the 5 above, you will find someone some day and if you don't, well you probably do and just don't know it, but even if you don't there's always hope.
11) Good things come to people who wait
12) Love at first sight is a farce, Lust at first sight is not, tho love can come after so it will seem like love at first sight (how can you fall in love with someone you know nothing about?)
13) Sex is over-rated, but still great, shit is like air, only life-threatening if your not getting any
14) There's nothing wrong with a bottomfeeder here and there, or a bass, cause you only catch one or two marlins in a lifetime, fishing would be pretty boring without the bass or bottomfeeders
15) Going out every weekend is not a social requirement, especially when you say no and there like your being anti-social, when your just gonna end up drinking or going to dooly's with the exact people you hang out with all the time.
16) People get stupid drunk and say stupid things, this does not mean that they hate you, live with it
17) People act differently with different people, it's just there level of comfortability with who there with
18) Yelling or Shouting are used for extreme occasions, if you always yell are shout at a person, the effect will wear out
19) There is no rush to fall in love, yet there's nothing wrong to want it now, just don't try and rush it, it's like driving, your more apt to go off the road if your racing down the road, then you gotta get back on it, and that takes a while (and love is like a curvy dirt road covered in snow/ice and surrounded by cliffs with pearl gates at the end)
20) Booze left more then 24 hours at the place you were partying or drinking at is the house owners, unless you make prior arrangements, if you do, don't let it be like a week or 2, it gets in the way and will be drank.
21) Talking to people on the computer is not being social, so spending 24 hours at a time talking to someone from Hong-Kong isn't cool
22) You can get addicted to chat lines
23) Racist, Sexist, Classist, isn't gonna get you anywhere in life, be a humanist, treat everyone the same, there's nothing wrong with humor, as long as you don't mean it.
24) Watch what you say, you may be offending or hurting someones feelings
25) Be able to take a joke, not everything a person says is what they mean
26) Don't give subtle hints to people, cause if they don't catch on, you might both miss out on something great
27) If you love someone tell them
28) Don't stalk people
29) Be kind to others, hold the door, help carry bags, etc., what are people gonna say, that person is so nice, what a weirdo, i mean cmon
30) Treat others like you wanna be treated, even if they don't do the same
31) Don't worry about what others think, worry about yourself
32) Don't order a double big-mac, supersize with a diet coke and think it's healthy
33) People who smoke, eat junkfood know it's bad for them, you telling them isn't going to change there mind
34) No matter how much you dislike your family, make good with them, you'll regret it when there gone, and you will miss them when there gone. And they do love you even if they have a weird way of showing it
35) Blood is thicker then water, don't insult a person family and expect the person to let it slide. Even if it is true.
36) Fuck Friends is the greatest invention ever, if you think there's something wrong with it, then i think there's something wrong with you. There's a difference between fucking and making love, fucking is pleasure, making love is a way you express each others love. If you can't fuck without getting attached, thet's your own damn problem.
37) The cure to depression is not in a tub of ice cream, or a inside yourself, it's talking to others. get shit off your chest.
38) If your fat and don't like it, don't eat junkfood and cry about it, go to the gym or eat healthier, i'm fat, i don't really care, tho i am planning to go to the gym (and don't reply, Doug your not fat, i know i am, i'm not so fat that i'm taller lying down, there are people much worse then me. don't worry i won't go anorexic if you agree with me)
39) People in this world are going to have different beliefs then you, this does not make either of you right and don't try and force yours on others. Tho talking about your beliefs isn't against the law either.
40) Don't take advantage of your friends, one of these days none of them will be there for you if you do.
41) Just because people didn't hand you over cash, doesn't mean they haven't done shit for you.
42) Don't just expect people to give you stuff, even if you do owe you, ask before you take anything.
43) Be polite, honestly are you going to die if you are. Maybe someone will think your gay, cmon, fuck
44) Words like gay and homo are slang, if your homosexual, then think of it as a compliment, don't get your panties in a bunch over a couple of slang terms.
45) This goes for words like shit, fuck, cunt, bitch, there words, it's not like we want to eat your first born or kill your pet.
46) Don't believe everything you read or see on TV, nothing is unbiased.
47) What to say about gossip...........mind your own fucking business
48) Listen to your heart, brain and crotch, or you will go crazy (don't do anything wrong tho)
49) Being completely optimistic is not the right thing to do, but i mean, don't be a pessimistic pissant either.
50) Listen to yourself, before you listen to other, including me with this post, i'm not the almighty, or Wayne Gretzky, Brett Favre, Micheal Jordan, Dale Earnhardt or any other god (har!) tho i like to think it
Doug "your local crazy guy"
aka Master Jedi Yoda motha fucka
1) You are going to die some day, realize this
2) Every single person you know is going to die some day
3) Everyone (at least everyone that we know) like money, need money, have money, life revolves around it, you can't make it with out it.
4) Everyone is shallow, those who say they are not are hypocrits, therefore if you want to impress someone, wear a suit(or whatever is appropriate you know what i mean), take a shower, brush your teeth, comb your hair, me i wear sweat pants all the time, fuck people, they wanna be shallow, suck it
5) Everyone is a hypocrit, those who say they aren't are the biggest ones.
6) The meaning of life is reproduction, this does not mean you have to start at 14, but there is also nothing wrong with practice. Don't look for another reason.
7) Even if there is a god, do you think he could grant us all our wishes, if he did, everyone would win the lottery and money would be worthless (hell doesn't sound that bad)
8) Religion has killed more people in our history as human beings then any disease or plague.
9) Assholes are just insecure about themselves
10) Confidence is one of the greatest virtues a person can have, along with Patience, ability to listen, money and shocking good looks, if you have any of the 5 above, you will find someone some day and if you don't, well you probably do and just don't know it, but even if you don't there's always hope.
11) Good things come to people who wait
12) Love at first sight is a farce, Lust at first sight is not, tho love can come after so it will seem like love at first sight (how can you fall in love with someone you know nothing about?)
13) Sex is over-rated, but still great, shit is like air, only life-threatening if your not getting any
14) There's nothing wrong with a bottomfeeder here and there, or a bass, cause you only catch one or two marlins in a lifetime, fishing would be pretty boring without the bass or bottomfeeders
15) Going out every weekend is not a social requirement, especially when you say no and there like your being anti-social, when your just gonna end up drinking or going to dooly's with the exact people you hang out with all the time.
16) People get stupid drunk and say stupid things, this does not mean that they hate you, live with it
17) People act differently with different people, it's just there level of comfortability with who there with
18) Yelling or Shouting are used for extreme occasions, if you always yell are shout at a person, the effect will wear out
19) There is no rush to fall in love, yet there's nothing wrong to want it now, just don't try and rush it, it's like driving, your more apt to go off the road if your racing down the road, then you gotta get back on it, and that takes a while (and love is like a curvy dirt road covered in snow/ice and surrounded by cliffs with pearl gates at the end)
20) Booze left more then 24 hours at the place you were partying or drinking at is the house owners, unless you make prior arrangements, if you do, don't let it be like a week or 2, it gets in the way and will be drank.
21) Talking to people on the computer is not being social, so spending 24 hours at a time talking to someone from Hong-Kong isn't cool
22) You can get addicted to chat lines
23) Racist, Sexist, Classist, isn't gonna get you anywhere in life, be a humanist, treat everyone the same, there's nothing wrong with humor, as long as you don't mean it.
24) Watch what you say, you may be offending or hurting someones feelings
25) Be able to take a joke, not everything a person says is what they mean
26) Don't give subtle hints to people, cause if they don't catch on, you might both miss out on something great
27) If you love someone tell them
28) Don't stalk people
29) Be kind to others, hold the door, help carry bags, etc., what are people gonna say, that person is so nice, what a weirdo, i mean cmon
30) Treat others like you wanna be treated, even if they don't do the same
31) Don't worry about what others think, worry about yourself
32) Don't order a double big-mac, supersize with a diet coke and think it's healthy
33) People who smoke, eat junkfood know it's bad for them, you telling them isn't going to change there mind
34) No matter how much you dislike your family, make good with them, you'll regret it when there gone, and you will miss them when there gone. And they do love you even if they have a weird way of showing it
35) Blood is thicker then water, don't insult a person family and expect the person to let it slide. Even if it is true.
36) Fuck Friends is the greatest invention ever, if you think there's something wrong with it, then i think there's something wrong with you. There's a difference between fucking and making love, fucking is pleasure, making love is a way you express each others love. If you can't fuck without getting attached, thet's your own damn problem.
37) The cure to depression is not in a tub of ice cream, or a inside yourself, it's talking to others. get shit off your chest.
38) If your fat and don't like it, don't eat junkfood and cry about it, go to the gym or eat healthier, i'm fat, i don't really care, tho i am planning to go to the gym (and don't reply, Doug your not fat, i know i am, i'm not so fat that i'm taller lying down, there are people much worse then me. don't worry i won't go anorexic if you agree with me)
39) People in this world are going to have different beliefs then you, this does not make either of you right and don't try and force yours on others. Tho talking about your beliefs isn't against the law either.
40) Don't take advantage of your friends, one of these days none of them will be there for you if you do.
41) Just because people didn't hand you over cash, doesn't mean they haven't done shit for you.
42) Don't just expect people to give you stuff, even if you do owe you, ask before you take anything.
43) Be polite, honestly are you going to die if you are. Maybe someone will think your gay, cmon, fuck
44) Words like gay and homo are slang, if your homosexual, then think of it as a compliment, don't get your panties in a bunch over a couple of slang terms.
45) This goes for words like shit, fuck, cunt, bitch, there words, it's not like we want to eat your first born or kill your pet.
46) Don't believe everything you read or see on TV, nothing is unbiased.
47) What to say about gossip...........mind your own fucking business
48) Listen to your heart, brain and crotch, or you will go crazy (don't do anything wrong tho)
49) Being completely optimistic is not the right thing to do, but i mean, don't be a pessimistic pissant either.
50) Listen to yourself, before you listen to other, including me with this post, i'm not the almighty, or Wayne Gretzky, Brett Favre, Micheal Jordan, Dale Earnhardt or any other god (har!) tho i like to think it
Doug "your local crazy guy"
aka Master Jedi Yoda motha fucka