Notes on Masturbation
Helping yourself, jacking off, spanking the monkey, letting your fingers do the walking. Why are people so cagey about masturbation? Why do they giggle when it's mentioned, or go coy or sneer or blush or make fun of it or refuse to talk about it?
I've done some research and decided that these are the main reasons why people think masturbation is wrong or are embarrassed by it.
1. Masturbation is a form of self-abuse.
2. It is self-centered and therefore a selfish act.
3. It can be addictive and can damage you if over-indulged.
4. Some religions are against it. They say it is an act of disobedience against God.
I shall take each of these points in turn and then write about my own experience.
1. I do not understand why something that gives pleasure and does no damage to yourself physically or to anyone else should be condemned as "self-abuse." In what way are you abusing yourself? It is not like cutting yourself or refusing to eat. You are not harming your body in any way. It is quite the opposite. It isn't like hitting someone or even swearing at them. You are not forcing yourself on anyone else.
In fact, it's a gentle and private activity (that sometimes may break chairs...) which helps make you more beautiful because it evens out the energies in your body and relieves the tension on your nerves and your brain. It makes your complexion smoother and even helps you sleep better.
2. It is true that masturbation is something you do for yourself and on your own, but I do not agree that it's selfish. It's something you do for yourself in the same way that you feed and bathe your body and go to the bathroom and take exercise, which are not considered selfish for dong on your own. It is something that helps keep you in good shape. Based on my own opinion, a proper use of masturbation makes you less selfish. It does this because when you feel satisfied, as after a good meal or refreshing exercise or a good sleep, you feel better about other people and are more ready to listen to them and help them.
3. It is addictive, etc. This is a silly point, because almost anything you can think of can be addictive or bad for you if you over-indulge in it. If you over-indulge in eating, you get obese and ill. If you over-indulge in exercise, you get strain your body in harmful ways, which have long-lasting effects, especially in your old age. There's nothing different about masturbation in this respect.
4. I do not understand why some religions are so against it. My dictionary says that another word for masturbation is "onanism." It is called this after Onan, the son of Judah in the Book of Genesis in the Christian Bible, chapter 38 verse 9. As far as I can make out, Onan was made by his father to go to his dead brother's wife and have sex with her in order to produce a child. Onan didn't want to make her pregnant, so he had sex but "he split it on the ground." They're so mealy-mouthed in the Bible that they can't say he withdrew before he came and split his sperm on the ground. Apparently, God didn't like him for doing this and killed him. It seems to me that what Onan did has nothing to do with anybody else nor can I understand why God should be angry with him for refusing to impregnate a woman he did not love and did not want to have a child with. These days, it would be considered admirable, not a reason to be killed. It is barbaric to force a man to make a woman pregnant when neither of them want it. So obviously, this is a silly reason for giving masturbation a bad name.
Reading the story again, I can see that God was angry at Onan not because he wouldn't impregnate his brother's wife, but because he split his sperm on the ground. That is, he had wasted it instead of making sure it had a chance to make a baby. But for heaven's sake! There are millions of sperm in one ejaculation, and the average man can do it three or four times in twenty four hours. Women can't make babies every time - we can only make a baby every nine months, and that would not be a wise thing to do anyway. So when a man masturbates and gets rid of sperm, how can it be thought of as a waste? His body gets rid of it anyway, whether he masturbates or not, just like a woman's body gets rid of eggs every month. It's how we keep our sperm and eggs healtht. We get rid of the old stuff, so this argument is rubbish as well.
Probably some religions are against it because they seem to be against anything that gives pleasure. I think pleasure is good. In fact, I think pleasure is necessary to a healthy life. I've already indicated why I think it does no harm, but I have some more thoughts on this:
I think masturbation is good because it helps you find out about your body. You can talk about sexual matters as long as you like, but that's not the same as experiencing them. When you masturbate, you find out from the fantasies you experience what gives you pleasure before you have to tell the boy or girl you love what you like to do and what you like him/her to do to you. Masturbation can be a kind of "afterwards thinking," when you remember what you did during sex that gave you the most pleasure and imagine what you would like next time. It's all very well having sex explained, as in our sex education lessons, but I think every human body is different and we all like different things. I know there are theories about what feels nice and what doesn't, but sometimes the strangest thing can "do the trick."
Also, it seems that boys are very hot in girls having orgasms because it boosts their ego, which sometimes puts pressure on you and you can't have one. But in masturbation, there is no pressure to succeed in this matter so you can just give up if you want to and that's fine, no one's put out. It's not essential to come - what is most important is the foreplay and everything done before either partner comes.
One of the greatest benefits of masturbation is that it relieves tension. It is a good form of self-help therapy. This is especially so before my period, when I suppose my hormones are busy. In my opinion, one of the bullet points our planners are school should emphasize is: Masturbation is good for the flow of creative energy.
I don't really remember my first time masturbating. I only know that it was dark and it was late and there was something stupid on television. I've done so many times after that, however, but it's never been planned. I've just done it when it felt right. Sometimes it's easy and quick and sometimes, such as when I'm tired, it takes longer. I don't tend to do it as much when I date, I've found. But when I do, I find I don't usually think of my boyfriend - not because I don't love him. It's because when this act is performed you automatically discover something about yourself. This is part of it, and perhaps why it's necessary. And believe that almost everyone does it, whether they admit it or not.
And those are the reasons I think masturbation is good.
I've done some research and decided that these are the main reasons why people think masturbation is wrong or are embarrassed by it.
1. Masturbation is a form of self-abuse.
2. It is self-centered and therefore a selfish act.
3. It can be addictive and can damage you if over-indulged.
4. Some religions are against it. They say it is an act of disobedience against God.
I shall take each of these points in turn and then write about my own experience.
1. I do not understand why something that gives pleasure and does no damage to yourself physically or to anyone else should be condemned as "self-abuse." In what way are you abusing yourself? It is not like cutting yourself or refusing to eat. You are not harming your body in any way. It is quite the opposite. It isn't like hitting someone or even swearing at them. You are not forcing yourself on anyone else.
In fact, it's a gentle and private activity (that sometimes may break chairs...) which helps make you more beautiful because it evens out the energies in your body and relieves the tension on your nerves and your brain. It makes your complexion smoother and even helps you sleep better.
2. It is true that masturbation is something you do for yourself and on your own, but I do not agree that it's selfish. It's something you do for yourself in the same way that you feed and bathe your body and go to the bathroom and take exercise, which are not considered selfish for dong on your own. It is something that helps keep you in good shape. Based on my own opinion, a proper use of masturbation makes you less selfish. It does this because when you feel satisfied, as after a good meal or refreshing exercise or a good sleep, you feel better about other people and are more ready to listen to them and help them.
3. It is addictive, etc. This is a silly point, because almost anything you can think of can be addictive or bad for you if you over-indulge in it. If you over-indulge in eating, you get obese and ill. If you over-indulge in exercise, you get strain your body in harmful ways, which have long-lasting effects, especially in your old age. There's nothing different about masturbation in this respect.
4. I do not understand why some religions are so against it. My dictionary says that another word for masturbation is "onanism." It is called this after Onan, the son of Judah in the Book of Genesis in the Christian Bible, chapter 38 verse 9. As far as I can make out, Onan was made by his father to go to his dead brother's wife and have sex with her in order to produce a child. Onan didn't want to make her pregnant, so he had sex but "he split it on the ground." They're so mealy-mouthed in the Bible that they can't say he withdrew before he came and split his sperm on the ground. Apparently, God didn't like him for doing this and killed him. It seems to me that what Onan did has nothing to do with anybody else nor can I understand why God should be angry with him for refusing to impregnate a woman he did not love and did not want to have a child with. These days, it would be considered admirable, not a reason to be killed. It is barbaric to force a man to make a woman pregnant when neither of them want it. So obviously, this is a silly reason for giving masturbation a bad name.
Reading the story again, I can see that God was angry at Onan not because he wouldn't impregnate his brother's wife, but because he split his sperm on the ground. That is, he had wasted it instead of making sure it had a chance to make a baby. But for heaven's sake! There are millions of sperm in one ejaculation, and the average man can do it three or four times in twenty four hours. Women can't make babies every time - we can only make a baby every nine months, and that would not be a wise thing to do anyway. So when a man masturbates and gets rid of sperm, how can it be thought of as a waste? His body gets rid of it anyway, whether he masturbates or not, just like a woman's body gets rid of eggs every month. It's how we keep our sperm and eggs healtht. We get rid of the old stuff, so this argument is rubbish as well.
Probably some religions are against it because they seem to be against anything that gives pleasure. I think pleasure is good. In fact, I think pleasure is necessary to a healthy life. I've already indicated why I think it does no harm, but I have some more thoughts on this:
I think masturbation is good because it helps you find out about your body. You can talk about sexual matters as long as you like, but that's not the same as experiencing them. When you masturbate, you find out from the fantasies you experience what gives you pleasure before you have to tell the boy or girl you love what you like to do and what you like him/her to do to you. Masturbation can be a kind of "afterwards thinking," when you remember what you did during sex that gave you the most pleasure and imagine what you would like next time. It's all very well having sex explained, as in our sex education lessons, but I think every human body is different and we all like different things. I know there are theories about what feels nice and what doesn't, but sometimes the strangest thing can "do the trick."
Also, it seems that boys are very hot in girls having orgasms because it boosts their ego, which sometimes puts pressure on you and you can't have one. But in masturbation, there is no pressure to succeed in this matter so you can just give up if you want to and that's fine, no one's put out. It's not essential to come - what is most important is the foreplay and everything done before either partner comes.
One of the greatest benefits of masturbation is that it relieves tension. It is a good form of self-help therapy. This is especially so before my period, when I suppose my hormones are busy. In my opinion, one of the bullet points our planners are school should emphasize is: Masturbation is good for the flow of creative energy.
I don't really remember my first time masturbating. I only know that it was dark and it was late and there was something stupid on television. I've done so many times after that, however, but it's never been planned. I've just done it when it felt right. Sometimes it's easy and quick and sometimes, such as when I'm tired, it takes longer. I don't tend to do it as much when I date, I've found. But when I do, I find I don't usually think of my boyfriend - not because I don't love him. It's because when this act is performed you automatically discover something about yourself. This is part of it, and perhaps why it's necessary. And believe that almost everyone does it, whether they admit it or not.
And those are the reasons I think masturbation is good.