(no subject)
Wow. five in the morning. It has been... a long time since I've been staying up this late. It's kind of different. I dunno. I think I fell asleep somewhere in between now and two hours ago... so I don't know if that counts. Last time I was up this late (and another 7 after) I took a nap. Last time was a very good day.
This time... it was OK.
The problem is that I think. I always have. I think WAY too much. And I can't ever really be content with where I am. I always feel like I'm missing something or that there's something more. Or that i SHOULD be happier, and I end up focusing on that. I don't really know what's wrong with me. I really wish I didn't do this. I wish I could just be happy and move through with it.
But I overanalyze, rethink, get concerned, observe, and end up working myself into a state where I CONVINCE myself that SOMETHING is going wrong. And it's probably the worst feeling in the world: to KNOW that something is wrong with the situation you're in. Not that it IS, but I convince myself that it is.
I kinda wish that things were...
better?
different?
easier?
how they used to be?
I kinda wish that the future was...
obvious?
guaranteed?
happy?
This time... it was OK.
The problem is that I think. I always have. I think WAY too much. And I can't ever really be content with where I am. I always feel like I'm missing something or that there's something more. Or that i SHOULD be happier, and I end up focusing on that. I don't really know what's wrong with me. I really wish I didn't do this. I wish I could just be happy and move through with it.
But I overanalyze, rethink, get concerned, observe, and end up working myself into a state where I CONVINCE myself that SOMETHING is going wrong. And it's probably the worst feeling in the world: to KNOW that something is wrong with the situation you're in. Not that it IS, but I convince myself that it is.
I kinda wish that things were...
better?
different?
easier?
how they used to be?
I kinda wish that the future was...
obvious?
guaranteed?
happy?