i wish i could talk to you guys in real life
its too nice to sit at my computer. and i feel a bond deep enough to keep me coming back to livejournal just so i can continue being a part of the both of your lives.
SO! sappy stuff aside:
lets start this story with a BACK story.....
i got this new job at the opera room about a month ago. this woman, sandy, who owns the place is pretty fucking cool. her and her husband are a rad little team, but due to a certain chain of events, very recently her husband (bob) and her broke up and he moved back to chicago.
since then, sandy has been spreading herself thin with every dude that shows her the slightest bit of attention. i think she may be in her late 30s, possibly 40 by now. either way, sandy has been drunk and slutty for about 2 months now. bob, her ex husband, is one of scotts best friends. bob and scott both skateboard, collect toys, ride bikes, love listening to metal. it was a match made in heaven. needless to say, it was a sad day when bob moved away.
ALRIGHT, now to meat...
it was scotts birthday on wednesday. we've been trying to have sex every other day (because of the advice i read on livejournal that JENNA G had so wisely bestowed upon me) ... I had wednesday off, i spent the day making scott a cheesecake, running around town getting him a cell phone, socks, whatever he wanted. i get on his facebook around 5:30 because i think us females need reassurance that our relationship is stable by checking messages, new friends, etc.
i find a message between scott and sandy dated saturday night, while i was at work for her. this is the part i wont delve into too deeply because while I'm typing it my belly button feels like its going to drop through my butt. scott had been cheating on me with sandy while i was at work. at her bar. immediately i call scott, he doesnt answer. i call sandy, let her know i quit her bar, and let her know why i was quitting. i called lizz, demanded her to get me immediately and started to pack the things i needed for the next day or two.
scott calls me back while im on the way to lizzs house and i let him know i know (in a fit of rage ... this all sounds like i was so calm). he didnt say a word. the whole ten minutes i talk to him, I am the only one TALKING. he's silent. i called him mr.cry-on-my-shoulder, mr. im-understanding, mr.ill-never-hurt-you-again, mr.you-are-the-only-girl for me. he hangs up on me. that was his birthday, wednesday. i havent heard from him since.
on friday i moved into my new place. went to the house at noon, had all of my stuff moved out by 2:30. five different people and a u-haul showed up to caravan me out of there. i was almost embarrassed to realize that a. i had so many good friends and b. i had so many good friends that i had been neglecting for the last 4 years of my life.
since wednesday, i could write a book about all of my revelations. i feel relief. even if things were great between scott and i, i was miserable. i didnt want to be there, we had nothing in common, he wasnt doing anything with his life, he's a 28 year old baby. even the way we spoke to each other was frustrating.
packing my things up, i realized that i hadnt been living in OUR space. i was living in HIS space. i subconsciously kept almost all of my things in boxes. i didnt want to move in with him.
i have to get ready for today, but i REALLY wanted to let you guys know that. and that i feel okay. most of the time im GOOD! ive been spending a lot of time with my friends that i've neglected, and ive been working a bunch. night time is hard, but, luckily, thats when i work. the only issue i have is that he hasnt bothered to call. i havent had an explanation, an "im sorry", a "fuck you, bitch, you sucked anyway"...nothing. sometimes i want to poke at him just so i get SOMETHING. nearly 4 years of my life, i feel like i deserve SOMETHING. but i feel like the greatest revenge is success, so poking him would drive him to believe that im suffering, and miss him, and am beating myself up over it. not this time.
jenna, will you watch this video? val, you can too. i watched this last week and its been fucking with me ever since.
SO! sappy stuff aside:
lets start this story with a BACK story.....
i got this new job at the opera room about a month ago. this woman, sandy, who owns the place is pretty fucking cool. her and her husband are a rad little team, but due to a certain chain of events, very recently her husband (bob) and her broke up and he moved back to chicago.
since then, sandy has been spreading herself thin with every dude that shows her the slightest bit of attention. i think she may be in her late 30s, possibly 40 by now. either way, sandy has been drunk and slutty for about 2 months now. bob, her ex husband, is one of scotts best friends. bob and scott both skateboard, collect toys, ride bikes, love listening to metal. it was a match made in heaven. needless to say, it was a sad day when bob moved away.
ALRIGHT, now to meat...
it was scotts birthday on wednesday. we've been trying to have sex every other day (because of the advice i read on livejournal that JENNA G had so wisely bestowed upon me) ... I had wednesday off, i spent the day making scott a cheesecake, running around town getting him a cell phone, socks, whatever he wanted. i get on his facebook around 5:30 because i think us females need reassurance that our relationship is stable by checking messages, new friends, etc.
i find a message between scott and sandy dated saturday night, while i was at work for her. this is the part i wont delve into too deeply because while I'm typing it my belly button feels like its going to drop through my butt. scott had been cheating on me with sandy while i was at work. at her bar. immediately i call scott, he doesnt answer. i call sandy, let her know i quit her bar, and let her know why i was quitting. i called lizz, demanded her to get me immediately and started to pack the things i needed for the next day or two.
scott calls me back while im on the way to lizzs house and i let him know i know (in a fit of rage ... this all sounds like i was so calm). he didnt say a word. the whole ten minutes i talk to him, I am the only one TALKING. he's silent. i called him mr.cry-on-my-shoulder, mr. im-understanding, mr.ill-never-hurt-you-again, mr.you-are-the-only-girl for me. he hangs up on me. that was his birthday, wednesday. i havent heard from him since.
on friday i moved into my new place. went to the house at noon, had all of my stuff moved out by 2:30. five different people and a u-haul showed up to caravan me out of there. i was almost embarrassed to realize that a. i had so many good friends and b. i had so many good friends that i had been neglecting for the last 4 years of my life.
since wednesday, i could write a book about all of my revelations. i feel relief. even if things were great between scott and i, i was miserable. i didnt want to be there, we had nothing in common, he wasnt doing anything with his life, he's a 28 year old baby. even the way we spoke to each other was frustrating.
packing my things up, i realized that i hadnt been living in OUR space. i was living in HIS space. i subconsciously kept almost all of my things in boxes. i didnt want to move in with him.
i have to get ready for today, but i REALLY wanted to let you guys know that. and that i feel okay. most of the time im GOOD! ive been spending a lot of time with my friends that i've neglected, and ive been working a bunch. night time is hard, but, luckily, thats when i work. the only issue i have is that he hasnt bothered to call. i havent had an explanation, an "im sorry", a "fuck you, bitch, you sucked anyway"...nothing. sometimes i want to poke at him just so i get SOMETHING. nearly 4 years of my life, i feel like i deserve SOMETHING. but i feel like the greatest revenge is success, so poking him would drive him to believe that im suffering, and miss him, and am beating myself up over it. not this time.
jenna, will you watch this video? val, you can too. i watched this last week and its been fucking with me ever since.
Click to view