twenty-two
i was going to write something serious here and talk about my birthday and some other stuff, but instead, let's talk about orgies! nic and i had serious plans to doubleteam howie now that she is in orlando, but he had to be dumb and go to london, so you lost out on your doubleteaming opportunity, howie d! jk we will doubleteam you another time, we <3 you!! so instead of the aforementioned doubleteaming, we are throwing an orgy, and you are all invited! in fact, every night is an orgy here on the pussycat dolls tour, which i am currently a member of! omg i love having friends with careers and entourages!!
anyway, back to orgies! i've been lucky enough to partake in one or two (or more...) over the years. one good way to prepare for an orgy is to get incredibly drunk, which is how i pregamed in the past. however, now that i'm sober, that isn't an option. luckily for me, the other way to get really psyched for an orgy is to be completely desperate. CHECK! ONE DESPERATE AMANDA LATONA, COMING RIGHT UP! some other things to do in preparation for your orgy! SHAVE. seriously, shave, trim, snip snip snip, presentation is everything when engaging in sexual acts with near strangers! also, BATHE. SERIOUSLY, I MEAN IT. lots of people engaging in random acts of intercourse = lots of potential sweat and odor, so do us a favor and don't ripen the air any more than is inevitable in these sorts of circumstances. in other news, bring your own condoms, if you're going to stick your dick in me the least you can do is cover the cost of not impregnating me, thanks! also, if you are really really ugly, this is not the orgy for you, sorry!
i really just wrote two paragraphs about orgies, didn't i? this is all howie d's fault! i was going to write something about easter, but that really does not fit in with this update at ALL, so that's it!
anyway, back to orgies! i've been lucky enough to partake in one or two (or more...) over the years. one good way to prepare for an orgy is to get incredibly drunk, which is how i pregamed in the past. however, now that i'm sober, that isn't an option. luckily for me, the other way to get really psyched for an orgy is to be completely desperate. CHECK! ONE DESPERATE AMANDA LATONA, COMING RIGHT UP! some other things to do in preparation for your orgy! SHAVE. seriously, shave, trim, snip snip snip, presentation is everything when engaging in sexual acts with near strangers! also, BATHE. SERIOUSLY, I MEAN IT. lots of people engaging in random acts of intercourse = lots of potential sweat and odor, so do us a favor and don't ripen the air any more than is inevitable in these sorts of circumstances. in other news, bring your own condoms, if you're going to stick your dick in me the least you can do is cover the cost of not impregnating me, thanks! also, if you are really really ugly, this is not the orgy for you, sorry!
i really just wrote two paragraphs about orgies, didn't i? this is all howie d's fault! i was going to write something about easter, but that really does not fit in with this update at ALL, so that's it!