better before you have to look at, hide, or touch it
i hate the female days the days u just wanna go shopping or hang out with friends i hate the days that you want to go out in public but you feel so filthy you dont want to your ashamed of who you are your ashamed of what you look like you cant stand what you were forced to put up with you hate what life your parents made for you i hate how i live in chino i think it would be easier for me to accomplish my biggest of dreams in a bigger city i want to be a fashion photographer. no one understands it its SO huge today i was watching ANTM (americas next top model)and i get so excieted at the details of the fashion its so lame but i love it i hate how i was stupid and left my camera at mr plumbs house for two weeks im having like withdrawls haha im crying because on of the girls on the show today is JUST like me "dont you ever look in the mirror and want to feel pretty" ive always wanted to do that...it kills me to know of what i think of myself then another girl later on said "i just dont look like any of the other girls" and i feel that too i am fucking 5'10 1/2" the guy that i used to liked told me that tall girls intimidate him last night thanks...*rolls eyes* i really want to nevermind i cant say it on the internet im too ashamed to admit to you all the no one that reads this what it is my fear of failing and not getting what i want is so evil its not a want its almost a need im jealous of the friends ihave that are so confident in themselves i wish my parents would just go away or i could live by myself or with a roommate instead of my family i hate my family i can wish all day but i dont belive in goodluck so i might as well stop typing