"i died inside the night you left me..."

[dudegirl212]

there are somethings that just never go away no matter how much you want them to and no matter how much you think that they are .. they're not. i had a good day at work and then i come home and there is a kid hangin out with my mom and carol and come to find out he is one of kels old friends and he is talkin about it and all the shit comes back to me again. i tried so fuckin hard to make this go away but everytime i get close something happens and i can't.. i miss her so much .

KEL~ i am still lost with out you.. im tryin to let you go please understand but it is so fuckin hard. i was doin good.. i mean i still have those pics in my car of us and what not but thats ok.. but tonight just made me think about how me tryin to let you go is just makin me miss you more. i want my life back.. i want to be able to tell ppl that i am truely happy. i want to be able to smile again. i want you. i miss you. so much.

god. please make the pain go away. its to hard. take that or take me. you make me choose all the time, now you.. make that choice. please make the right one.

to everyone else i am so sorry that i am a downer all the time . please try to understand that i don't want to be like this and im really honestly tryin not to be.

im sorry.

"i died inside the night you left me..."