(no subject)
Italy! For future your reference, I have enumerated a number of activities you are Not Allowed To Engage in on any future d-date EVER:
1. Attempt to wrest away control of the car while I (or anybody else) is driving because - and I quote - "Ve, Germany! You drive like a grandmother!" or for any other reason UNLESS specified below:
a. The driver has fallen asleep, is wounded, or is otherwise incapacitated.
b. The driver has captured you and/or is planning on seizing your vital regions.
i. In an event such as this, DO NOT SURRENDER.
c. The driver (God knows why) has specifically asked you to take the wheel.
2. Treat the police officer in an overly friendly manner, especially if you are clearly in the wrong.
3. Ask the police officer if he would like something to drink and proceed to pull out a bottle of wine.
a. DO NOT mention how much the driver likes beer, and how said driver can indulge in many pints without even looking the least bit drunk.
4. DO NOT steal the police officer's pen and ticket book and proceed to vandalize said book.
a. No, Italy. It doesn't matter how 'cute' the drawing is, police officers do not want little bunnies hopping around in the corner of his ticket book if he flips through the pages really quickly.
5. I CAN EAT MY OWN FOOD YOU DON'T HAVE TO FEED ME DAMMIT
a. And no, I have no idea why all those women were squealing in the next table over.
b. BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD WAVE AT THEM AND THEN PROCEED TO YELL "Ve, we have fans, Germany!"
c. We do not have fans.
....
A-and I can go on, but I'll refrain.
1. Attempt to wrest away control of the car while I (or anybody else) is driving because - and I quote - "Ve, Germany! You drive like a grandmother!" or for any other reason UNLESS specified below:
a. The driver has fallen asleep, is wounded, or is otherwise incapacitated.
b. The driver has captured you and/or is planning on seizing your vital regions.
i. In an event such as this, DO NOT SURRENDER.
c. The driver (God knows why) has specifically asked you to take the wheel.
2. Treat the police officer in an overly friendly manner, especially if you are clearly in the wrong.
3. Ask the police officer if he would like something to drink and proceed to pull out a bottle of wine.
a. DO NOT mention how much the driver likes beer, and how said driver can indulge in many pints without even looking the least bit drunk.
4. DO NOT steal the police officer's pen and ticket book and proceed to vandalize said book.
a. No, Italy. It doesn't matter how 'cute' the drawing is, police officers do not want little bunnies hopping around in the corner of his ticket book if he flips through the pages really quickly.
5. I CAN EAT MY OWN FOOD YOU DON'T HAVE TO FEED ME DAMMIT
a. And no, I have no idea why all those women were squealing in the next table over.
b. BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD WAVE AT THEM AND THEN PROCEED TO YELL "Ve, we have fans, Germany!"
c. We do not have fans.
....
A-and I can go on, but I'll refrain.