The Smirky Meerkat, The Closeted Warthog, and the Brave Little Lion Part 2
Title: The Smirky Meerkat, The Closeted Warthog and the Brave Little Lion
Author: ducttapeofdoom
Pairing,Character(s): Kurtofsky, Seblaine, Niff, Warblers
Rating: M
Word Count: 33,389
Spoilers: Season 2
Summary: After unexpectedly returning from France, Sebastian Smythe views his cousin Kurt Hummel's life and decides to fix what he sees has gone wrong: Kurt's childhood friendship with Dave Karofsky.
A/N: I've included links to Youtube for the songs within the story. For a couple of them, it would be recommended for you to listen to them either before or as you're reading the performances.
Part Two
The next day, Kurt was grumpy as he pulled in the driveway of his uncle’s house. He had gotten a call from Thomas the night before asking him if Kurt could drive Sebastian to Dalton so he could take a tour of the campus. As a result, Sebastian had stayed the night at the Hummel-Hudson home, but had still needed to go by Thomas’ house so Sebastian could change into clean clothes, causing Kurt and Sebastian to get on the road much earlier than either of them would have liked. Especially since jet lag was beginning to set in for Sebastian.
Kurt jabbed Sebastian in the side when it seemed like his cousin would just continue sleeping against the window. “If you drool on my window, I’m making you get my baby detailed,” he threatened. When that failed to elicit a response, he tried another tactic. “If you hurry, we can get coffee before class.”
Sebastian was out the door before he could finish the sentence, leaving a darkly chuckling Kurt behind. Once the door of the house closed behind the whirlwind known affectionately as Bas, Kurt pulled out his iPhone, pulling up the text menu. I’m bringing my cousin with me today to take a tour, so don’t worry if I’m late to first period, he sent to Blaine, Jeff, and Nick, who all shared his first class.
The responses he received made him laugh. He received a very polite Cousin? from Blaine. While Jeff and Nick texted as they talked, alternating words as if they were the Weasley twins from Harry Potter.
You have a cousin? -Nick
Ignore Nick, you’re obviously allowed to have family. -Jeff
I was just asking because you never mention him. -Nick
And he was wondering… -Jeff
Is he hot? -Nick
Feel free to smack him. -Jeff
Aehsousdschou -Nick
Kurt assumed that that last one was the result of Jeff finally getting fed up with his boyfriend’s antics and attempting to either steal the phone or kiss him to death. It really varied daily with those two. He sent another mass text to the three, figuring that the couple was probably sitting next to Blaine in the Warbler common room or the dining hall anyway and Blaine had probably witnessed the wrestling match. My cousin Sebastian Smythe is taking a tour of Dalton today. Jeff, Nick, please refrain from molesting him. He’d like it and would probably end up teaching you two something new about being perverts. We don’t need that. And I don’t know if he’s hot, he’s like my brother.
Kurt knew that his relationship with Blaine was probably strained after his little outburst at the Lima Bean the day before, but he had been relieved when Blaine had responded to that first text, even if it was only one word. He was further comforted when Blaine sent another text in response. I’ll keep a look out for the two of you.
However, it was the response that he received from Trent, another Warbler who was Nick’s other best friend, who had probably also been present for the text spam/wrestling match, that made Kurt want to smack someone. Didn’t you use to have a crush on your brother? ;)
Sebastian returned to the car carrying a battered leather book bag before Kurt could formulate a way to quietly kill Trent and dispose of his body without being noticed. “What’s up?” he yawned, tossing the bag behind him. “I know that look. It’s your ‘how can I kill someone and not get caught’ look.”
Kurt snorted. “You would know. You saw it often enough, mostly directed at you, Bas.”
Sebastian shrugged. “How was I supposed to know that shirt couldn’t be put in the dryer?”
“There are fabric labels for a reason, idiot,” Kurt muttered, instinctively heading towards the Lima Bean, needing coffee more now than he had been five minutes before. Once there, he made the executive decision to go in himself and leave Sebastian in the car so his cousin couldn’t attempt to flirt with the entire male population inside the shop. Once he got the cups, he rushed back out to his car, shoving Sebastian’s cup at his cousin. He took a moment to enjoy a long sip of his coffee before depositing it in the cup holder and turning towards Dalton.
When Kurt pulled the Navigator into his preferred parking spot in the unofficial Warbler section of the student parking lot, he wasn’t even surprised by what looked like at least half of the Warblers loitering by the entrance to the school.
“Friends of yours?” Sebastian asked, his eyebrow cocked. He thought he recognized one of the teens as the guy he had ogled the day before in the coffee shop.
Kurt sighed loudly, putting the SUV into park before reaching behind him to pull out his own book bag. “They’re the Warblers, the Dalton glee club. I texted the ones I’m closest to this morning while you were getting dressed. Apparently, they decided to meet us and brought along others to gawk at my mysterious cousin. Oh, the adorable blond and the guy that’s attached to him by the lips are my closest friends other than Blaine and if they proposition you and you break either of their hearts, I will remove your testicles myself,” he threatened.
Sebastian snorted. “I see the love,” he said sarcastically. “So how is it that two guys you’ve known for less than six months mean more to you than your almost brother?” He grabbed his own bag as Kurt took the time to check his hair in the rearview mirror.
“You’ve never offered a threesome?” Kurt joked, grinning at the younger teen as he locked the doors of his baby after they got out.
Sebastian playfully leered at Kurt. “If I knew that was all it took to earn your eternal loyalty, I would have…sorry, can’t finish that sentence. It’s too weird.” The two laughed loudly for a moment as they deliberately walked slowly so they could finish their coffee. “Though I now understand your friendship with Santana and Brittany even more now,” he mused.
Kurt smiled fondly as he remembered his favorite former Cheerios. He looked towards the gaggle of Warblers as he formulated his next response. “Nick and Jeff mean so much to me because after I auditioned for a solo my first week at Dalton and didn’t make it to the second round, they didn’t gloat. They didn’t pull a Rachel and taunt me about how they were liked more than me or that they deserved the solo more than me. They simply came back to where I was sitting after receiving the instructions for the next round and talked to me. They gave me awesome hugs and offered to buy me a coffee to cheer me up. It just kind of spiraled from there.”
Sebastian silently vowed to get to know the two and eventually thank them for being there for Kurt when Sebastian couldn’t.
“Kurty!” Jeff yelled, grinning at his friend as the other Warbler got closer. “Were you trying to avoid us by getting here with only minutes to spare?”
Nick wrapped an arm around his boyfriend’s waist and subtly eyed the tall teen next to Kurt. “If you were, you should know better. You should know the lengths that private school boys will go to for new gossip, and you, our dear little spy, have stopped being interesting months ago.” The grin on his face belied the words though.
“Who is this?” Thad asked, pushing his way through the pack of Warblers to the front. He winked flirtatiously at Sebastian, once again surprising Kurt with his obvious bisexuality. The crush on Blaine had been the first clue.
Kurt watched impassively as his cousin exchanged flirty looks at the council member. Jeff and Nick attached themselves to Kurt’s sides like really attractive bookends. Kurt smiled softly at the two, knowing that they were acting like any of his girl friends would. He suspected that they were also attaching themselves to him as visible proof that they were siding with him against Blaine, since Kurt had almost immediately confided in the two after Rachel’s party.
The first bell rang, startling the group. “Are you going to introduce us?” Thad asked again, reluctantly turning away from Sebastian’s gaze.
Kurt grinned as Jeff put his head on his shoulder and batted his eyelashes at the countertenor. “Yeah Kurty, introduce us.”
Kurt kissed the top of Jeff’s head affectionately. “Guys, this is my cousin Sebastian Smythe. He was living in France with my mother’s sister and had intended on moving back next year. However, after the year I had, his mother decided to send him back early so we could be around each other again.” Kurt fibbed on the details, making it seem like his Aunt had a better reason for sending her son out of the country than the fact that her husband was a jackass. “Sebastian is supposed to tour the school today, which is why he’s here.” Kurt’s eyes drifted towards Blaine, trying to gauge his mood. “Sebastian, these are some of the Warblers.” He nodded with his head at each boy as he said their names. “You’ve met Thad. That’s Trent, another McKinley transfer. Flint,” he said, indicating the tall beatboxer. “These two growths on my arms are Nick and Jeff,” he indicated with his head which was which. “And that’s Blaine, the lead soloist.”
Blaine nodded at Sebastian before grabbing Thad’s arm. “We should get inside,” he said quietly, not waiting for the junior before he started inside the building.
“What’s with him?” Nick asked, the three friends moving together towards the door. “He didn’t seem like he wanted to talk at all this morning.”
“We had a fight yesterday,” Kurt said. “I said some things I don’t want to repeat about bisexuality, despite the fact that I know several and have always accepted their orientation. He just hurt me so much when he kissed her. Any other girl and I would have been able to deal with it, but not her.”
It seemed to Sebastian like his cousin was speaking in code but all he could glean from the words was that Blaine had hurt Kurt by kissing some girl. Knowing what he did about Kurt’s old club, it was probably Rachel. Kurt literally got along with every girl in the New Directions other than her, and even that rivalry had been thawing when Kurt transferred.
“But he’s gay,” Trent said confused from the other side of Nick.
“He is,” Sebastian confirmed. He hadn’t missed the appreciative look Blaine had shot at himself as well as the ones directed at the interestingly hot threesome his cousin and the established couple had made with the couple wrapped around Kurt.
Kurt nodded also. “He’s just exploring his options, which I support. The kissing Rachel and then agreeing to go on a date with her is what upset me. And when I get upset, I attack.”
Trent rolled his eyes. “Could he be any more oblivious?” he muttered. Sebastian made note to also get the low down from this Trent guy, he seemed to be fairly caught up on the gossip.
Once inside the school, Kurt eventually had to force Jeff and Nick to let go of him and head for class with promises that he would be right there. After a reluctant (on Kurt’s part) fist bump with Trent, the cousins were finally left alone again.
“Well…they’re interesting,” Sebastian drawled.
Kurt laughed as he headed in the direction of the office. “Just try being in the middle of a meeting where the three council members try and give all the solos to Blaine, while Jeff and Nick make out practically on top of you and Trent declares everything as a ‘kangaroo court’. I’m pretty sure the others don’t even bother speaking up anymore and are simply there for the entertainment value.” The fact that he had spotted at least half a dozen Warblers passing around a bowl of popcorn during the last meeting while another fight raged also factored into that assessment.
“At least they don’t actually break out into physical fights,” Sebastian offered, remembering the email he got months ago about Santana attempting to take out Rachel during a meeting while the teacher was sick. Kurt snorted with laughter as he remembered the various times the New Directions meetings erupted in physical confrontations.
Kurt waved at the secretary in the office. “Hello Mary. This is Sebastian Smythe. He’s here for a tour of the campus. His father Thomas Smythe set it up yesterday.”
Mary typed something in her computer before nodding. “Yes, his sponsor is you, Kurt Hummel, correct?”
Sebastian looked at Kurt in confusion. “Every transfer has a sponsor, a fancy term for a guide,” Kurt explained. “When I transferred, Blaine was mine. I’m sure that since I’m your cousin, it was thought that you would prefer my company over a stranger.” He turned back to the secretary. “Yes I’m his sponsor. However, I have a test in second period that I cannot miss. So I cannot give him the tour.”
The woman waved his concerns away. “Don’t worry; we have members of the welcoming committee do the actual tour. It’s only when the student actually starts attending classes that the sponsor is required.” She looked at the clock. “Let me write you a pass so you’re not marked late for your first period class.” She handed over a slip of paper and Kurt squeezed Sebastian’s arm before leaving him in the office. She waited for the door to close behind Kurt before turning back to Sebastian. “Okay Mr. Smythe, your father told us that you are transferring from a school in France, is that correct?”
Sebastian shifted the bag on his shoulder, pulling his transcripts out of it. “I have been alternating school years in France and America. Before entering high school, I was attending boarding schools during the school year so I didn’t alternate countries. It was only when I entered high school and was no longer allowed to attend the boarding school that I was forced to alternate.” He handed over the transcripts.
Mary looked over the transcript. She doubled as the registrar when the man in the official position was absent. She looked immediately for the reason why such a polite young man would have been kicked out of a boarding school. And she found it. Student expelled for inappropriate conduct on school grounds. Her eyebrow rose. “If you don’t mind me asking, just what was the ‘inappropriate conduct’?”
Sebastian sighed. He had hoped that he wouldn’t be asked, but should have known better. Every school he had attended since his middle school years had asked. “The ‘moral decency’ officer discovered that I was gay,” he said shortly.
Mary’s eyebrow rose higher. “And that warranted expulsion?”
Another sigh. “He discovered me kissing another student in one of the stairwells. He didn’t react well. It was my first kiss, but when he brought up the incident to the dean, he made it sound like we had been having sex. That warranted expulsion.”
Mary was outraged. “You were thirteen!” she yelled, having noted the year and grade Sebastian had been in at the time.
Sebastian nodded. “A girl in my year had gotten pregnant a few months earlier. She was also thirteen and after that incident, the dean was cracking down on any incidents of “promiscuity”,” Sebastian said, using air quotes. “So I was expelled without even hearing my side of the story and the expulsion stopped me getting into any other boarding school in America. Oddly enough, Europe doesn’t have the same hang up as America,” he noted wryly. “Anyway, I’ve alternated countries ever since I entered high school. I spent my freshman year in France, sophomore here in Ohio, and I was supposed to finish this year in France, but it was decided that I should come back to America after Kurt had so much trouble at his old school. My mom thought that he would need me.” Sebastian continued the fake back story to his return to America that Kurt had created.
Mary nodded, looking over Sebastian’s grades from the past two years. Her brow furrowed when she looked at the classes. She sighed. She had been afraid of this when she heard that Sebastian had been alternating countries. “I’m afraid there is a problem Mr. Smythe.”
Sebastian frowned. “What is it? I’ve had perfect grades!”
Mary shook her head. “It’s not that Mr. Smythe. It’s your classes, more the fact that several of your classes from France will not transfer to Dalton. I’m afraid that this will place you in the grade below where you should be.”
“What? I’m going to be a sophomore again? I should be a junior!” Sebastian raged internally. He wasn’t one to let his anger show on his face, but inside he was cursing out everyone that he felt was the cause of losing a year: his mother, his father, his fucking step-father, especially that douche. He wasn’t going to graduate with Kurt next year. That meant that he couldn’t go to New York with him either until a year later. He began cursing mentally in French, English just not having enough punch for the invectives he wanted to spew at the system.
Mary watched the young man before her and she could tell that he was very upset by the way that his hands were clenched. She grabbed a paper from a file holder next to her. “You could always try and appeal your placement Mr. Smythe, but I’m afraid that it would do little good. Or, when Mr. Fry reviews your transcripts, he may place you in your correct year.”
“Mr. Fry?”
“The actual registrar. He is not here today which is why I am looking over your file. However, I would not count on it because of the difference between the two types of courses you’ve taken in the last two years.”
Before Sebastian could say anything further, a knock sounded from the office door. Sebastian turned to see an Asian boy standing outside.
Mary smiled and waved the boy in. “Here’s your tour guide now. Sebastian Smythe, this is Wes Montgomery. He is a member of the Welcoming club and also the president of the Warblers, of which your cousin is a member.”
Sebastian could feel Wes’ eyes on him. Sebastian was used to having eyes on him; he just knew somehow that the Asian teen wasn’t staring at him due to lust and wanting to get into his pants. It was more trying to figure out which Warbler was Sebastian’s cousin. Sebastian was content to allow Wes to come to the decision on his own, especially since from the small group that he had met that morning, Sebastian could be related to at least three members just from that group.
Mary, however, accidentally ruined his fun. “Wesley here will give you the full tour and bring you back here so you can sign papers. Once that is over, I will give you a welcome packet to give to your father. Mr. Hummel’s lunch period should line up with the time that we’re finished here. I will give him another late pass to his after lunch class so he can return you to your home so you are not forced to stay the rest of the day. However, if you wish to stay and get an early look at some extracurricular activities, I will have you escorted to the library where you can use the computers for the rest of the day.”
Wes’ gaze became even more appraising. “You’re Kurt’s cousin?” he asked quietly.
Mary smiled brightly at the two of them, waving them off so they could do the tour.
Sebastian reluctantly followed Wes out of the office and down the hall. “What was with that question?” he demanded. “You have something against Kurt?”
Wes looked aghast at Sebastian. “What? No! Of course not! It’s just that Kurt hasn’t mentioned you, at all. He’s been nice enough to listen to my relationship troubles the last couple months, it was just surprising to hear that his cousin was coming to Dalton.”
Sebastian calmed slightly. He would be the first to admit that he was now overprotective of his cousin after the year that Kurt had. And he suspected there was more to the almost clinical description that Kurt had given him the day before. “In his defense, he didn’t even know I was back in the country until yesterday. And I didn’t know I’d be going to Dalton until last night.”
Wes decided to wait to interrogate Sebastian until the younger teen was a student. If Wes could read Sebastian correctly, there was no way in hell the brunet was going to let his cousin out of his sight any time soon.
XxXxX
Kurt looked at the clock in the classroom distractedly. He couldn’t help but wish for the class to end so that he could meet up with Sebastian and hope that Sebastian hadn’t devoured the soul of whoever had been doomed to show him around Dalton. His cousin was like Santana and Coach Sylvester like that.
When the bell rang, Kurt hurriedly packed his notes and things back inside his bag before grabbing Jeff by the wrist as they exited their class. “I’m stealing you and your boyfriend for lunch today. I don’t know if Blaine is currently speaking to me and frankly, at this moment, I don’t care.” He didn’t give his friend a chance to respond before dragging the blond towards the office.
“Hey babe woah! Where’s the fire?” Nick asked as Jeff latched onto Nick’s hand the same way Kurt had hold of his wrist. “Are we finally going to do that threesome?”
“Not happening Nicholas,” Kurt stated. “We’re picking up Sebastian at the office for lunch. We will then head off campus while I try and figure out how to keep him entertained until school and Warblers are finished.” The three made an odd sight as they travelled down the hall in a chain. However, since the three were well known Warbler members, no one commented and students even got out of the way for them. It was a reaction that Kurt hadn’t had since he was a Cheerio, and he’d be lying if he said he hadn’t missed it.
Nick hurried up so that he was walking in tandem with his boyfriend. “Can we still have the threesome? Would Sebastian be up for it? He’s hot.”
Kurt rolled his eyes. “You know, one day you are going to set someone off with comments like that. And I’m just going to stand by and laugh. However, if you play it right, Sebastian would probably agree. You should just make sure your boyfriend is good with that first.” Jeff’s eyes were glazed at the thought, so it was pretty obvious that he was on board. “Now I’ll give you guys the same warning I gave Sebastian this morning. Hurt him and I’ll hurt you. He got the more graphic threat though because despite your joking, I know you two have good hearts.”
Jeff laughed. “You’re really giving us the ‘hurt him and I’ll break your face’ speech? Darling, I’ve seen your cousin. I’m sure he’d be the one breaking hearts, not us. Besides, we’d be up front about it just being sex and something short-term. We made the same offer to you after all.”
Kurt side-eyed Jeff. “I didn’t know you two were serious. I thought you were just joking with me like Santana and Brittany. Well, Santana at least. I’m pretty sure Brittany meant every offer.”
“The two hot cheerleaders offered to have a threesome with you? And you turned them down?” Trent asked, suddenly appearing next to them. “You should have told the jocks. They might have respected you for having the balls to do what they could never do.”
Kurt blandly stared at Trent. “I’m gay Trent. It would have had no interest to me. In fact, I’ve seen most of the hottest girls at McKinley naked and no reaction.”
Jeff and Nick both stopped dead at that. “You’ve seen naked girls? Do you have pictures?” they asked in unison.
Kurt rolled his eyes. “Why on Earth would I have pictures?”
“Because you could have bought protection from the jocks with them,” Nick said.
Kurt looked confused. “But that would have been betraying the girls.”
“And, Gay-face, that is why you’ll always be one of the girls instead of one of the guys,” Sebastian said, popping up behind his cousin.
Jeff, Nick, Trent, and Wes all gaped at Sebastian. They had all liked Sebastian at first, but something like that wouldn’t be tolerated. “Watch your mouth!” Trent snapped, being the first to collect himself.
The cousins looked at Trent in confusion. Then Kurt’s face lit up with understanding. “No Trent, he wasn’t making a slur. That’s one of his nicknames for me. I know that it might seem like he’s making a comment on my sexuality, but he’s not. I promise.” He then turned back to his cousin. “There’s a zero-tolerance policy on bullying. That’s why they look like that.”
Suddenly things made a lot more sense to Sebastian. Not in the least the looks on Kurt’s friend’s faces, but also a reason why his Uncle Burt would send Kurt to such an expensive school and why his own father would want to send him to the school. Zero-tolerance would be a pretty powerful motivator. And he suddenly had the feeling that his father knew more about his home life in France than he had previously thought. “So what’s with the group?”
Kurt looked at the mini Warbler meeting. “Well, Jeff, Nick and I are going to lunch with you. I don’t know why Trent and Wes are here. Oh, have you met Wes yet?”
Wes nodded. “I was his tour guide.” He didn’t add that it had been one of the most frustrating experiences in his life. Sebastian hadn’t wanted to be out of his cousin’s sight and it was obvious. But it was also obvious that Sebastian was trying to be sneaky about finding out about Kurt’s friends at Dalton and any information that the Warbler might know about Kurt’s McKinley friends as well.
Kurt shot the senior an apologetic smile and received a grateful smile in return. “Well gentlemen, I’ll see you later at the Warbler meeting. Boys,” he said, directed at his cousin and the couple who were not-so-secretly ogling him. He then turned and walked towards the parking lot, trusting that the three would follow him. They did.
XxXxX
Part Three
Author: ducttapeofdoom
Pairing,Character(s): Kurtofsky, Seblaine, Niff, Warblers
Rating: M
Word Count: 33,389
Spoilers: Season 2
Summary: After unexpectedly returning from France, Sebastian Smythe views his cousin Kurt Hummel's life and decides to fix what he sees has gone wrong: Kurt's childhood friendship with Dave Karofsky.
A/N: I've included links to Youtube for the songs within the story. For a couple of them, it would be recommended for you to listen to them either before or as you're reading the performances.
Part Two
The next day, Kurt was grumpy as he pulled in the driveway of his uncle’s house. He had gotten a call from Thomas the night before asking him if Kurt could drive Sebastian to Dalton so he could take a tour of the campus. As a result, Sebastian had stayed the night at the Hummel-Hudson home, but had still needed to go by Thomas’ house so Sebastian could change into clean clothes, causing Kurt and Sebastian to get on the road much earlier than either of them would have liked. Especially since jet lag was beginning to set in for Sebastian.
Kurt jabbed Sebastian in the side when it seemed like his cousin would just continue sleeping against the window. “If you drool on my window, I’m making you get my baby detailed,” he threatened. When that failed to elicit a response, he tried another tactic. “If you hurry, we can get coffee before class.”
Sebastian was out the door before he could finish the sentence, leaving a darkly chuckling Kurt behind. Once the door of the house closed behind the whirlwind known affectionately as Bas, Kurt pulled out his iPhone, pulling up the text menu. I’m bringing my cousin with me today to take a tour, so don’t worry if I’m late to first period, he sent to Blaine, Jeff, and Nick, who all shared his first class.
The responses he received made him laugh. He received a very polite Cousin? from Blaine. While Jeff and Nick texted as they talked, alternating words as if they were the Weasley twins from Harry Potter.
You have a cousin? -Nick
Ignore Nick, you’re obviously allowed to have family. -Jeff
I was just asking because you never mention him. -Nick
And he was wondering… -Jeff
Is he hot? -Nick
Feel free to smack him. -Jeff
Aehsousdschou -Nick
Kurt assumed that that last one was the result of Jeff finally getting fed up with his boyfriend’s antics and attempting to either steal the phone or kiss him to death. It really varied daily with those two. He sent another mass text to the three, figuring that the couple was probably sitting next to Blaine in the Warbler common room or the dining hall anyway and Blaine had probably witnessed the wrestling match. My cousin Sebastian Smythe is taking a tour of Dalton today. Jeff, Nick, please refrain from molesting him. He’d like it and would probably end up teaching you two something new about being perverts. We don’t need that. And I don’t know if he’s hot, he’s like my brother.
Kurt knew that his relationship with Blaine was probably strained after his little outburst at the Lima Bean the day before, but he had been relieved when Blaine had responded to that first text, even if it was only one word. He was further comforted when Blaine sent another text in response. I’ll keep a look out for the two of you.
However, it was the response that he received from Trent, another Warbler who was Nick’s other best friend, who had probably also been present for the text spam/wrestling match, that made Kurt want to smack someone. Didn’t you use to have a crush on your brother? ;)
Sebastian returned to the car carrying a battered leather book bag before Kurt could formulate a way to quietly kill Trent and dispose of his body without being noticed. “What’s up?” he yawned, tossing the bag behind him. “I know that look. It’s your ‘how can I kill someone and not get caught’ look.”
Kurt snorted. “You would know. You saw it often enough, mostly directed at you, Bas.”
Sebastian shrugged. “How was I supposed to know that shirt couldn’t be put in the dryer?”
“There are fabric labels for a reason, idiot,” Kurt muttered, instinctively heading towards the Lima Bean, needing coffee more now than he had been five minutes before. Once there, he made the executive decision to go in himself and leave Sebastian in the car so his cousin couldn’t attempt to flirt with the entire male population inside the shop. Once he got the cups, he rushed back out to his car, shoving Sebastian’s cup at his cousin. He took a moment to enjoy a long sip of his coffee before depositing it in the cup holder and turning towards Dalton.
When Kurt pulled the Navigator into his preferred parking spot in the unofficial Warbler section of the student parking lot, he wasn’t even surprised by what looked like at least half of the Warblers loitering by the entrance to the school.
“Friends of yours?” Sebastian asked, his eyebrow cocked. He thought he recognized one of the teens as the guy he had ogled the day before in the coffee shop.
Kurt sighed loudly, putting the SUV into park before reaching behind him to pull out his own book bag. “They’re the Warblers, the Dalton glee club. I texted the ones I’m closest to this morning while you were getting dressed. Apparently, they decided to meet us and brought along others to gawk at my mysterious cousin. Oh, the adorable blond and the guy that’s attached to him by the lips are my closest friends other than Blaine and if they proposition you and you break either of their hearts, I will remove your testicles myself,” he threatened.
Sebastian snorted. “I see the love,” he said sarcastically. “So how is it that two guys you’ve known for less than six months mean more to you than your almost brother?” He grabbed his own bag as Kurt took the time to check his hair in the rearview mirror.
“You’ve never offered a threesome?” Kurt joked, grinning at the younger teen as he locked the doors of his baby after they got out.
Sebastian playfully leered at Kurt. “If I knew that was all it took to earn your eternal loyalty, I would have…sorry, can’t finish that sentence. It’s too weird.” The two laughed loudly for a moment as they deliberately walked slowly so they could finish their coffee. “Though I now understand your friendship with Santana and Brittany even more now,” he mused.
Kurt smiled fondly as he remembered his favorite former Cheerios. He looked towards the gaggle of Warblers as he formulated his next response. “Nick and Jeff mean so much to me because after I auditioned for a solo my first week at Dalton and didn’t make it to the second round, they didn’t gloat. They didn’t pull a Rachel and taunt me about how they were liked more than me or that they deserved the solo more than me. They simply came back to where I was sitting after receiving the instructions for the next round and talked to me. They gave me awesome hugs and offered to buy me a coffee to cheer me up. It just kind of spiraled from there.”
Sebastian silently vowed to get to know the two and eventually thank them for being there for Kurt when Sebastian couldn’t.
“Kurty!” Jeff yelled, grinning at his friend as the other Warbler got closer. “Were you trying to avoid us by getting here with only minutes to spare?”
Nick wrapped an arm around his boyfriend’s waist and subtly eyed the tall teen next to Kurt. “If you were, you should know better. You should know the lengths that private school boys will go to for new gossip, and you, our dear little spy, have stopped being interesting months ago.” The grin on his face belied the words though.
“Who is this?” Thad asked, pushing his way through the pack of Warblers to the front. He winked flirtatiously at Sebastian, once again surprising Kurt with his obvious bisexuality. The crush on Blaine had been the first clue.
Kurt watched impassively as his cousin exchanged flirty looks at the council member. Jeff and Nick attached themselves to Kurt’s sides like really attractive bookends. Kurt smiled softly at the two, knowing that they were acting like any of his girl friends would. He suspected that they were also attaching themselves to him as visible proof that they were siding with him against Blaine, since Kurt had almost immediately confided in the two after Rachel’s party.
The first bell rang, startling the group. “Are you going to introduce us?” Thad asked again, reluctantly turning away from Sebastian’s gaze.
Kurt grinned as Jeff put his head on his shoulder and batted his eyelashes at the countertenor. “Yeah Kurty, introduce us.”
Kurt kissed the top of Jeff’s head affectionately. “Guys, this is my cousin Sebastian Smythe. He was living in France with my mother’s sister and had intended on moving back next year. However, after the year I had, his mother decided to send him back early so we could be around each other again.” Kurt fibbed on the details, making it seem like his Aunt had a better reason for sending her son out of the country than the fact that her husband was a jackass. “Sebastian is supposed to tour the school today, which is why he’s here.” Kurt’s eyes drifted towards Blaine, trying to gauge his mood. “Sebastian, these are some of the Warblers.” He nodded with his head at each boy as he said their names. “You’ve met Thad. That’s Trent, another McKinley transfer. Flint,” he said, indicating the tall beatboxer. “These two growths on my arms are Nick and Jeff,” he indicated with his head which was which. “And that’s Blaine, the lead soloist.”
Blaine nodded at Sebastian before grabbing Thad’s arm. “We should get inside,” he said quietly, not waiting for the junior before he started inside the building.
“What’s with him?” Nick asked, the three friends moving together towards the door. “He didn’t seem like he wanted to talk at all this morning.”
“We had a fight yesterday,” Kurt said. “I said some things I don’t want to repeat about bisexuality, despite the fact that I know several and have always accepted their orientation. He just hurt me so much when he kissed her. Any other girl and I would have been able to deal with it, but not her.”
It seemed to Sebastian like his cousin was speaking in code but all he could glean from the words was that Blaine had hurt Kurt by kissing some girl. Knowing what he did about Kurt’s old club, it was probably Rachel. Kurt literally got along with every girl in the New Directions other than her, and even that rivalry had been thawing when Kurt transferred.
“But he’s gay,” Trent said confused from the other side of Nick.
“He is,” Sebastian confirmed. He hadn’t missed the appreciative look Blaine had shot at himself as well as the ones directed at the interestingly hot threesome his cousin and the established couple had made with the couple wrapped around Kurt.
Kurt nodded also. “He’s just exploring his options, which I support. The kissing Rachel and then agreeing to go on a date with her is what upset me. And when I get upset, I attack.”
Trent rolled his eyes. “Could he be any more oblivious?” he muttered. Sebastian made note to also get the low down from this Trent guy, he seemed to be fairly caught up on the gossip.
Once inside the school, Kurt eventually had to force Jeff and Nick to let go of him and head for class with promises that he would be right there. After a reluctant (on Kurt’s part) fist bump with Trent, the cousins were finally left alone again.
“Well…they’re interesting,” Sebastian drawled.
Kurt laughed as he headed in the direction of the office. “Just try being in the middle of a meeting where the three council members try and give all the solos to Blaine, while Jeff and Nick make out practically on top of you and Trent declares everything as a ‘kangaroo court’. I’m pretty sure the others don’t even bother speaking up anymore and are simply there for the entertainment value.” The fact that he had spotted at least half a dozen Warblers passing around a bowl of popcorn during the last meeting while another fight raged also factored into that assessment.
“At least they don’t actually break out into physical fights,” Sebastian offered, remembering the email he got months ago about Santana attempting to take out Rachel during a meeting while the teacher was sick. Kurt snorted with laughter as he remembered the various times the New Directions meetings erupted in physical confrontations.
Kurt waved at the secretary in the office. “Hello Mary. This is Sebastian Smythe. He’s here for a tour of the campus. His father Thomas Smythe set it up yesterday.”
Mary typed something in her computer before nodding. “Yes, his sponsor is you, Kurt Hummel, correct?”
Sebastian looked at Kurt in confusion. “Every transfer has a sponsor, a fancy term for a guide,” Kurt explained. “When I transferred, Blaine was mine. I’m sure that since I’m your cousin, it was thought that you would prefer my company over a stranger.” He turned back to the secretary. “Yes I’m his sponsor. However, I have a test in second period that I cannot miss. So I cannot give him the tour.”
The woman waved his concerns away. “Don’t worry; we have members of the welcoming committee do the actual tour. It’s only when the student actually starts attending classes that the sponsor is required.” She looked at the clock. “Let me write you a pass so you’re not marked late for your first period class.” She handed over a slip of paper and Kurt squeezed Sebastian’s arm before leaving him in the office. She waited for the door to close behind Kurt before turning back to Sebastian. “Okay Mr. Smythe, your father told us that you are transferring from a school in France, is that correct?”
Sebastian shifted the bag on his shoulder, pulling his transcripts out of it. “I have been alternating school years in France and America. Before entering high school, I was attending boarding schools during the school year so I didn’t alternate countries. It was only when I entered high school and was no longer allowed to attend the boarding school that I was forced to alternate.” He handed over the transcripts.
Mary looked over the transcript. She doubled as the registrar when the man in the official position was absent. She looked immediately for the reason why such a polite young man would have been kicked out of a boarding school. And she found it. Student expelled for inappropriate conduct on school grounds. Her eyebrow rose. “If you don’t mind me asking, just what was the ‘inappropriate conduct’?”
Sebastian sighed. He had hoped that he wouldn’t be asked, but should have known better. Every school he had attended since his middle school years had asked. “The ‘moral decency’ officer discovered that I was gay,” he said shortly.
Mary’s eyebrow rose higher. “And that warranted expulsion?”
Another sigh. “He discovered me kissing another student in one of the stairwells. He didn’t react well. It was my first kiss, but when he brought up the incident to the dean, he made it sound like we had been having sex. That warranted expulsion.”
Mary was outraged. “You were thirteen!” she yelled, having noted the year and grade Sebastian had been in at the time.
Sebastian nodded. “A girl in my year had gotten pregnant a few months earlier. She was also thirteen and after that incident, the dean was cracking down on any incidents of “promiscuity”,” Sebastian said, using air quotes. “So I was expelled without even hearing my side of the story and the expulsion stopped me getting into any other boarding school in America. Oddly enough, Europe doesn’t have the same hang up as America,” he noted wryly. “Anyway, I’ve alternated countries ever since I entered high school. I spent my freshman year in France, sophomore here in Ohio, and I was supposed to finish this year in France, but it was decided that I should come back to America after Kurt had so much trouble at his old school. My mom thought that he would need me.” Sebastian continued the fake back story to his return to America that Kurt had created.
Mary nodded, looking over Sebastian’s grades from the past two years. Her brow furrowed when she looked at the classes. She sighed. She had been afraid of this when she heard that Sebastian had been alternating countries. “I’m afraid there is a problem Mr. Smythe.”
Sebastian frowned. “What is it? I’ve had perfect grades!”
Mary shook her head. “It’s not that Mr. Smythe. It’s your classes, more the fact that several of your classes from France will not transfer to Dalton. I’m afraid that this will place you in the grade below where you should be.”
“What? I’m going to be a sophomore again? I should be a junior!” Sebastian raged internally. He wasn’t one to let his anger show on his face, but inside he was cursing out everyone that he felt was the cause of losing a year: his mother, his father, his fucking step-father, especially that douche. He wasn’t going to graduate with Kurt next year. That meant that he couldn’t go to New York with him either until a year later. He began cursing mentally in French, English just not having enough punch for the invectives he wanted to spew at the system.
Mary watched the young man before her and she could tell that he was very upset by the way that his hands were clenched. She grabbed a paper from a file holder next to her. “You could always try and appeal your placement Mr. Smythe, but I’m afraid that it would do little good. Or, when Mr. Fry reviews your transcripts, he may place you in your correct year.”
“Mr. Fry?”
“The actual registrar. He is not here today which is why I am looking over your file. However, I would not count on it because of the difference between the two types of courses you’ve taken in the last two years.”
Before Sebastian could say anything further, a knock sounded from the office door. Sebastian turned to see an Asian boy standing outside.
Mary smiled and waved the boy in. “Here’s your tour guide now. Sebastian Smythe, this is Wes Montgomery. He is a member of the Welcoming club and also the president of the Warblers, of which your cousin is a member.”
Sebastian could feel Wes’ eyes on him. Sebastian was used to having eyes on him; he just knew somehow that the Asian teen wasn’t staring at him due to lust and wanting to get into his pants. It was more trying to figure out which Warbler was Sebastian’s cousin. Sebastian was content to allow Wes to come to the decision on his own, especially since from the small group that he had met that morning, Sebastian could be related to at least three members just from that group.
Mary, however, accidentally ruined his fun. “Wesley here will give you the full tour and bring you back here so you can sign papers. Once that is over, I will give you a welcome packet to give to your father. Mr. Hummel’s lunch period should line up with the time that we’re finished here. I will give him another late pass to his after lunch class so he can return you to your home so you are not forced to stay the rest of the day. However, if you wish to stay and get an early look at some extracurricular activities, I will have you escorted to the library where you can use the computers for the rest of the day.”
Wes’ gaze became even more appraising. “You’re Kurt’s cousin?” he asked quietly.
Mary smiled brightly at the two of them, waving them off so they could do the tour.
Sebastian reluctantly followed Wes out of the office and down the hall. “What was with that question?” he demanded. “You have something against Kurt?”
Wes looked aghast at Sebastian. “What? No! Of course not! It’s just that Kurt hasn’t mentioned you, at all. He’s been nice enough to listen to my relationship troubles the last couple months, it was just surprising to hear that his cousin was coming to Dalton.”
Sebastian calmed slightly. He would be the first to admit that he was now overprotective of his cousin after the year that Kurt had. And he suspected there was more to the almost clinical description that Kurt had given him the day before. “In his defense, he didn’t even know I was back in the country until yesterday. And I didn’t know I’d be going to Dalton until last night.”
Wes decided to wait to interrogate Sebastian until the younger teen was a student. If Wes could read Sebastian correctly, there was no way in hell the brunet was going to let his cousin out of his sight any time soon.
XxXxX
Kurt looked at the clock in the classroom distractedly. He couldn’t help but wish for the class to end so that he could meet up with Sebastian and hope that Sebastian hadn’t devoured the soul of whoever had been doomed to show him around Dalton. His cousin was like Santana and Coach Sylvester like that.
When the bell rang, Kurt hurriedly packed his notes and things back inside his bag before grabbing Jeff by the wrist as they exited their class. “I’m stealing you and your boyfriend for lunch today. I don’t know if Blaine is currently speaking to me and frankly, at this moment, I don’t care.” He didn’t give his friend a chance to respond before dragging the blond towards the office.
“Hey babe woah! Where’s the fire?” Nick asked as Jeff latched onto Nick’s hand the same way Kurt had hold of his wrist. “Are we finally going to do that threesome?”
“Not happening Nicholas,” Kurt stated. “We’re picking up Sebastian at the office for lunch. We will then head off campus while I try and figure out how to keep him entertained until school and Warblers are finished.” The three made an odd sight as they travelled down the hall in a chain. However, since the three were well known Warbler members, no one commented and students even got out of the way for them. It was a reaction that Kurt hadn’t had since he was a Cheerio, and he’d be lying if he said he hadn’t missed it.
Nick hurried up so that he was walking in tandem with his boyfriend. “Can we still have the threesome? Would Sebastian be up for it? He’s hot.”
Kurt rolled his eyes. “You know, one day you are going to set someone off with comments like that. And I’m just going to stand by and laugh. However, if you play it right, Sebastian would probably agree. You should just make sure your boyfriend is good with that first.” Jeff’s eyes were glazed at the thought, so it was pretty obvious that he was on board. “Now I’ll give you guys the same warning I gave Sebastian this morning. Hurt him and I’ll hurt you. He got the more graphic threat though because despite your joking, I know you two have good hearts.”
Jeff laughed. “You’re really giving us the ‘hurt him and I’ll break your face’ speech? Darling, I’ve seen your cousin. I’m sure he’d be the one breaking hearts, not us. Besides, we’d be up front about it just being sex and something short-term. We made the same offer to you after all.”
Kurt side-eyed Jeff. “I didn’t know you two were serious. I thought you were just joking with me like Santana and Brittany. Well, Santana at least. I’m pretty sure Brittany meant every offer.”
“The two hot cheerleaders offered to have a threesome with you? And you turned them down?” Trent asked, suddenly appearing next to them. “You should have told the jocks. They might have respected you for having the balls to do what they could never do.”
Kurt blandly stared at Trent. “I’m gay Trent. It would have had no interest to me. In fact, I’ve seen most of the hottest girls at McKinley naked and no reaction.”
Jeff and Nick both stopped dead at that. “You’ve seen naked girls? Do you have pictures?” they asked in unison.
Kurt rolled his eyes. “Why on Earth would I have pictures?”
“Because you could have bought protection from the jocks with them,” Nick said.
Kurt looked confused. “But that would have been betraying the girls.”
“And, Gay-face, that is why you’ll always be one of the girls instead of one of the guys,” Sebastian said, popping up behind his cousin.
Jeff, Nick, Trent, and Wes all gaped at Sebastian. They had all liked Sebastian at first, but something like that wouldn’t be tolerated. “Watch your mouth!” Trent snapped, being the first to collect himself.
The cousins looked at Trent in confusion. Then Kurt’s face lit up with understanding. “No Trent, he wasn’t making a slur. That’s one of his nicknames for me. I know that it might seem like he’s making a comment on my sexuality, but he’s not. I promise.” He then turned back to his cousin. “There’s a zero-tolerance policy on bullying. That’s why they look like that.”
Suddenly things made a lot more sense to Sebastian. Not in the least the looks on Kurt’s friend’s faces, but also a reason why his Uncle Burt would send Kurt to such an expensive school and why his own father would want to send him to the school. Zero-tolerance would be a pretty powerful motivator. And he suddenly had the feeling that his father knew more about his home life in France than he had previously thought. “So what’s with the group?”
Kurt looked at the mini Warbler meeting. “Well, Jeff, Nick and I are going to lunch with you. I don’t know why Trent and Wes are here. Oh, have you met Wes yet?”
Wes nodded. “I was his tour guide.” He didn’t add that it had been one of the most frustrating experiences in his life. Sebastian hadn’t wanted to be out of his cousin’s sight and it was obvious. But it was also obvious that Sebastian was trying to be sneaky about finding out about Kurt’s friends at Dalton and any information that the Warbler might know about Kurt’s McKinley friends as well.
Kurt shot the senior an apologetic smile and received a grateful smile in return. “Well gentlemen, I’ll see you later at the Warbler meeting. Boys,” he said, directed at his cousin and the couple who were not-so-secretly ogling him. He then turned and walked towards the parking lot, trusting that the three would follow him. They did.
XxXxX
Part Three