(no subject)
Well, I don't think I was cast in Evita. They started making calls today and I haven't gotten one sooo... yea. Its kind of a bummer though because both the vocal director AND the producer told me I was one of three being considered for the Mistress.. and you would think if I was good enough for the Mistress I would be good enough for the ensemble. But, evidently not.
At first I was REALLY dissapointed, but then I thought about that saying "everything happens for a reason" and so obviously this wasn't mean to be. And then I started thinking about school and getting my degree. I really do love school and I miss my history classes. Sooooooo.. I think I am going to go back to school.
I know, I know. The whole time I was in school I was bitching about wanting to be doing theatre professionally and now that I'm here I want to be back at school! However, the REAL reason I want to go back to school is because, quite honestly, I'm not good enough to do theatre professionally. Atleast, not yet. I am in serious need of more training -- voice AND dance. I always thought my voice was great, it was my dance that was the problem. But in these past two months I have come to find that my voice is not up to par yet either. I suppose if I was alive during the Golden Age of Broadway I would have been just fine, but with this contemporary pop Broadway I need work. I need my mix to be better and I need training to do that.
I feel a little bit like a failure, coming back to Sacramento already. But I just need to forget what other people have to say because I KNOW this is what I need to really have a career as a performer. And while I'm training I might as well get my degree at the same time. I should be able to graduate on time.. maybe take an extra semester. And even if I graduate at 22 or 23, I'll still probably look 18 and will be just fine to start my real professional career. A lot of people don't go to New York until the are 28 or 30.. and I think even when I'm that old I will probably still look 21 or 22 (considering I get 13 and 14 now).
My decision isn't final, I still have to talk with my parents about it. But I think I am happy with it. I've thought a lot and it just doesn't make sense for me to try and have a professional career when I'm not professional quality. I just want to say that I am in NO way giving up or copping out. I still have a very definite and CLEAR goal in mind. There are just necessary steps that I need to take to get to that point.
At first I was REALLY dissapointed, but then I thought about that saying "everything happens for a reason" and so obviously this wasn't mean to be. And then I started thinking about school and getting my degree. I really do love school and I miss my history classes. Sooooooo.. I think I am going to go back to school.
I know, I know. The whole time I was in school I was bitching about wanting to be doing theatre professionally and now that I'm here I want to be back at school! However, the REAL reason I want to go back to school is because, quite honestly, I'm not good enough to do theatre professionally. Atleast, not yet. I am in serious need of more training -- voice AND dance. I always thought my voice was great, it was my dance that was the problem. But in these past two months I have come to find that my voice is not up to par yet either. I suppose if I was alive during the Golden Age of Broadway I would have been just fine, but with this contemporary pop Broadway I need work. I need my mix to be better and I need training to do that.
I feel a little bit like a failure, coming back to Sacramento already. But I just need to forget what other people have to say because I KNOW this is what I need to really have a career as a performer. And while I'm training I might as well get my degree at the same time. I should be able to graduate on time.. maybe take an extra semester. And even if I graduate at 22 or 23, I'll still probably look 18 and will be just fine to start my real professional career. A lot of people don't go to New York until the are 28 or 30.. and I think even when I'm that old I will probably still look 21 or 22 (considering I get 13 and 14 now).
My decision isn't final, I still have to talk with my parents about it. But I think I am happy with it. I've thought a lot and it just doesn't make sense for me to try and have a professional career when I'm not professional quality. I just want to say that I am in NO way giving up or copping out. I still have a very definite and CLEAR goal in mind. There are just necessary steps that I need to take to get to that point.