What I thought was right, was wrong.
Of late, my posts have been getting significantly shorter and less reflective, I know. And most of the times, they are merely rants.
For those who have been keeping with my posts, remember this one that reflects my sudden realization in life?
I cannot comprehend the rat race we all put ourselves in, you know like ultimately what are we all chasing for really? Like to me, it used to be a blind faith that all of us have, or rather, what our parents instill in us. That the harder we work, the better pay we get thus the better quality of life on the whole, bigger houses, higher wages, flashier cars and the list can go on forever.
It dawned on me now that we all grow up someday. I may have Peter Pan's syndrome, but I don't suppose it's of anything new to the people around me. It's just a mindset I have, don't worry it's not a terminal or incurable disease. And also the lackadaisical D, which I really hate, but yet can't do anything about it. I can spend my day wondering what cameras I should bring along whenever I have plans to just go trigger-happying on my own, or what kinda films I shld load, or just spend the day watch listening to good music on youtube raping the replay button.
But you see, that wouldn't get me anywhere. I know I have wasted a good 3 years of my life playing floorball in SIM which I really should be studying. I'm guilty of blowing off my parents' money just like that but me being me, though guilty as charged, the good that came out of it was that I've worked my way up from just an average player, till where I am today. S once told me, (Although she may not mean it now, but I believed she meant it then) I had 3 fulfilling years playing floorball, I mean, if it was a career, I would have made it. Word, IF.
And till now, I really don't know where I'm heading and it's killing me. All the insecurities and uncertainty is getting to me. I can hardly put them down and be patient so I find myself handicapped, incapacitated. Maybe I should take a step back, and breathe.
Just breathe.
D.