of plucking the day
We were so young and happy, and good together, I want us to keep that in mind and remember that forever. I do. I am, but I am afraid it's not mutual. It took me a long time to entirely trust someone so wholeheartedly, and this is exactly why I was afraid to do so - the fear of loss.
I've tweeted this and have always been a huge fan of Grey's Anatomy, so here goes.
"She's my person. If I murdered someone, she's the person I'd call to help me drag the corpse across the living room floor. She's my person."
-Christina Yang
Truth be told, I am very much affected by the fact that I lost my bestfriend, and there's probably nothing I could do to make anything better. People change, and when they do, the people in their lives change to. No matter how hard it's gonna be, you gotta deal with it and just move the fuck on. It feels almost impossible to trust and open up to anyone now because I don't know what they are thinking. One of my fatal flaw, is that I'm too damn insecure. I need reassurance time and time again most of my friends gave up trying. And that's something that is very hard to live with. I find myself stuck in the reverse gear when I am actually trying to move forward. It's an almost impossible situation.
I guess I just need to learn to count my blessings everyday, for those who stood by me, for those I still want to keep, and for the one I might want to commit myself to.
D.