Dammit Mammaw
I am mad and I have no real reason to be. She is old and she was bound to go eventually but not like this. I have been sitting checking my phone non-stop since Thanksgiving just waiting for her and I get nothing. They took her IV out on Friday and she hasn't eaten since the Friday befopre that so she won't make it past this week so we are just waiting.
I have so many things I want to say to her and I can't. Fucking coma!!! I am angry and hurt and I want to be with her but not while she is like this. I feel sick inside. I feel helpless. There is nothing they can do to save her. She isn't there anymore, just her body and her body just won't give up. I don't want it too, I want some fucking miracle to happen and her to wake up and be fine. She won't wake up though. I miss her.
My pappaw is in the hospital now and he isn't doing too good either. His body wont digest food and the acid is filling and eating away at his lungs. They don't know how to stop it, since they can't even identify what the hell is going on. So he is just waiting in pain for them to find something. He is now down to 29 pills instead of 38 which I guess is progress. Bunch of dumbass doctors!!!
I HATE THIS. I don't want them to go. They are why I still call Jeffersonville my home. My license has their address on it. I send them my grades not my parents. I go to their houses on holidays no one else's, so why do they have to leave.
It is selfish but I want them to be here for me. I am not ready to deal with this. I can't imagine this. I can't feel any of this.
I have so many things I want to say to her and I can't. Fucking coma!!! I am angry and hurt and I want to be with her but not while she is like this. I feel sick inside. I feel helpless. There is nothing they can do to save her. She isn't there anymore, just her body and her body just won't give up. I don't want it too, I want some fucking miracle to happen and her to wake up and be fine. She won't wake up though. I miss her.
My pappaw is in the hospital now and he isn't doing too good either. His body wont digest food and the acid is filling and eating away at his lungs. They don't know how to stop it, since they can't even identify what the hell is going on. So he is just waiting in pain for them to find something. He is now down to 29 pills instead of 38 which I guess is progress. Bunch of dumbass doctors!!!
I HATE THIS. I don't want them to go. They are why I still call Jeffersonville my home. My license has their address on it. I send them my grades not my parents. I go to their houses on holidays no one else's, so why do they have to leave.
It is selfish but I want them to be here for me. I am not ready to deal with this. I can't imagine this. I can't feel any of this.