A rant about close relatives...
I've decided that it is better to keep them as acquaintances and not let their paranoias and emotional needs take precedence over your own. It's also better not to involve them in your personal life, because some of them will use it to emotionally browbeat you and try to make you feel like an idiot. For the record, I am not an idiot, just a mildly deranged duck with a weird sense of humor. And, while I will still maintain certain loyalty to them out of respect for the common DNA factor, I see no reason to continue lying about how helpful and supportive they have been while I have gone through one health crisis after another. My sister came down the day I had my leg amputated because one of my dear friends at church called her and told her that maybe it would be a nice thing if someone from my family made some kind of effort to come, because I was feeling pretty badly and was very sick (I had been calling her long distance from the hospital with a calling card to tell her all of this for about two weeks before the actual amputation). That's right, my friend had to GUILT my own sister to make a trip to see me when I needed her. My sister, in turn, gave my older brother guilt by long distance to have him call me at the hospital. My friends handled all the heavy lifting and hard work involved in getting me moved to my new apartment, because my brother and sister couldn't be arsed to take one day out of their busy lives to help. My sister went on and on about how she was going to come the next weekend and help me organize my things - hello? They are now all organized, and I did it mostly myself, with the help of a few very kind and good friends that have been here for me. My brother has not been bothered to come and see me in person since I moved away from the Cleveland area. Last time I went up to Cleveland for a visit, he couldn't even be bothered to come to my sister's house to see me. I think it's been about four years now since I have seen my brother in anything other than photos he posted on his Myspace.
My brother is a self-centered opportunist. He does things only if there is something in it for him, and only then if it causes no inconvenience on his part. He's got a daughter that he barely knows, and couldn't even remember where she lived when I called him to get her address to send her a birthday card. When I asked for her phone number so I could call and ask her, he didn't know it off the top of his head, and couldn't be bothered to look it up on his cell phone and read it to me. I finally got the name and address from her, and sent her a birthday card. She takes after her father - never did hear so much as thank you. The only time I will hear from her this year will be in about three weeks, because her birthday is coming up again in July, and she will find a way to "remind" me.
My sister is a passive/aggressive control freak. I think she may also be manic-depressive, because about every six months or so, she feels the need to rip my ear off by phone over how I should live my life, who I should be suing over all my health difficulties, how I should not trust the medicines that are making me able to live a somewhat normal life, how I should spend my money, even suggested that when I buy my new bedroom set, that I get a full bed with a top bunk so I will have an extra bed if I have overnight guests. I guess that means her and her family? Yeah, because she comes to visit maybe once a year, and it doesn't matter that the rest of the time, I will be hitting the top of my head on it while I get out of my bed and into my wheelchair every morning, at least there will be an extra bed for her to sleep on once a year.
I think she means well, but for crying out loud, I have been living on my own since I was 24 years old, and have somehow managed to get through it this far without following her helpful advice on life and the world in general. I actually got through it with the help of good friends, faith in God, and sheer stubbornness and determination not to become some worthless slacker who just sits around all day and boo-hoos about how I can't do anything. Last night, I was told how incredibly stupid I am for putting personal photos on my Myspace page(which is set to "private" and does not even list so much as the actual name of the town where I live). Because, you know, any stranger who does not know me will recognize the tower in the picture of my street, use it to locate my exact place of residence, and come looking for me to maybe beat up my stuffed duckies, or steal my very valuable second-hand furniture. I am also stupid for not wanting to sue every doctor that was in any way involved in my leg being amputated, the hospital where they did the surgery, the pharmaceutical companies that produce medicines that actually help me to live a somewhat normal life, oh, and my previous landlord. I am stupid for taking insulin for my diabetes, because they have not proved that high sugar is that dangerous to one's health, and it is probably all the medications that are making me sick. I actually lied to her and told her I had stopped taking my insulin just to get her to shut up about this one. I was stupid for taking antidepressants while I was suffering from situational depression, even though taking them kept me from wanting to walk in front of a train or overdose on my pain medication. I was stupid for NOT asking for more pain medication when I felt I did not need it any longer. Why? Because I could have saved it for her, or sold it to someone to get some extra money. I am stupid for mentioning online that she is my sister, because these same stalkers who will be coming after me can trace her to me and come and steal her valuable second hand furniture. And yet, when I don't mention family on my page, I am an ego-maniac that does not love her family. I am even stupid because she does not like the posting style I use if I comment her Myspace page. I spent about two hours last night going through all of Myspace and removing every post I have ever put on her page, and every post she has ever put on mine. Because I am tired of her insanity, and I am tired of being damned if I do and damned if I don't.
So, when I talk about how caring and supporting my family has been through all of this, would one of you please remind me to come back and look at this post again? And, though I have not posted it here, remind me of what happened at the hospital when I started losing blood and going into shock from blood loss while on the phone with her.
My brother is a self-centered opportunist. He does things only if there is something in it for him, and only then if it causes no inconvenience on his part. He's got a daughter that he barely knows, and couldn't even remember where she lived when I called him to get her address to send her a birthday card. When I asked for her phone number so I could call and ask her, he didn't know it off the top of his head, and couldn't be bothered to look it up on his cell phone and read it to me. I finally got the name and address from her, and sent her a birthday card. She takes after her father - never did hear so much as thank you. The only time I will hear from her this year will be in about three weeks, because her birthday is coming up again in July, and she will find a way to "remind" me.
My sister is a passive/aggressive control freak. I think she may also be manic-depressive, because about every six months or so, she feels the need to rip my ear off by phone over how I should live my life, who I should be suing over all my health difficulties, how I should not trust the medicines that are making me able to live a somewhat normal life, how I should spend my money, even suggested that when I buy my new bedroom set, that I get a full bed with a top bunk so I will have an extra bed if I have overnight guests. I guess that means her and her family? Yeah, because she comes to visit maybe once a year, and it doesn't matter that the rest of the time, I will be hitting the top of my head on it while I get out of my bed and into my wheelchair every morning, at least there will be an extra bed for her to sleep on once a year.
I think she means well, but for crying out loud, I have been living on my own since I was 24 years old, and have somehow managed to get through it this far without following her helpful advice on life and the world in general. I actually got through it with the help of good friends, faith in God, and sheer stubbornness and determination not to become some worthless slacker who just sits around all day and boo-hoos about how I can't do anything. Last night, I was told how incredibly stupid I am for putting personal photos on my Myspace page(which is set to "private" and does not even list so much as the actual name of the town where I live). Because, you know, any stranger who does not know me will recognize the tower in the picture of my street, use it to locate my exact place of residence, and come looking for me to maybe beat up my stuffed duckies, or steal my very valuable second-hand furniture. I am also stupid for not wanting to sue every doctor that was in any way involved in my leg being amputated, the hospital where they did the surgery, the pharmaceutical companies that produce medicines that actually help me to live a somewhat normal life, oh, and my previous landlord. I am stupid for taking insulin for my diabetes, because they have not proved that high sugar is that dangerous to one's health, and it is probably all the medications that are making me sick. I actually lied to her and told her I had stopped taking my insulin just to get her to shut up about this one. I was stupid for taking antidepressants while I was suffering from situational depression, even though taking them kept me from wanting to walk in front of a train or overdose on my pain medication. I was stupid for NOT asking for more pain medication when I felt I did not need it any longer. Why? Because I could have saved it for her, or sold it to someone to get some extra money. I am stupid for mentioning online that she is my sister, because these same stalkers who will be coming after me can trace her to me and come and steal her valuable second hand furniture. And yet, when I don't mention family on my page, I am an ego-maniac that does not love her family. I am even stupid because she does not like the posting style I use if I comment her Myspace page. I spent about two hours last night going through all of Myspace and removing every post I have ever put on her page, and every post she has ever put on mine. Because I am tired of her insanity, and I am tired of being damned if I do and damned if I don't.
So, when I talk about how caring and supporting my family has been through all of this, would one of you please remind me to come back and look at this post again? And, though I have not posted it here, remind me of what happened at the hospital when I started losing blood and going into shock from blood loss while on the phone with her.