(no subject)
I've been on Penelope Trunk for the past hour and I'm really enjoying what I'm reading. All her posts are so insightful and relevant. You really have to check this out:
http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/12/04/twentysomething-why-i-regret-getting-straight-as-in-college/
Anyway, after digesting all that load of information, I'm back to wondering about my future. People teling me "Hey that's where you really should go" or "You wouldn't love it here". So really, is this whole chase for the paper worth it? I mean i only can see it as a measure of self worth. It's more like validation, rather than real life achievements. It's so boring to realize that I'm still stuck at this outdated dilema. Maybe it's time to find the solution, not think about solutions.
This past week has been a fantastic one. I've got time to connect with my friends, had a crazy-ass night with one of my army mate, gotten drunk and gotten ill. That's pretty eventful for anyone. it's like I hit the hi-s and low-s for this week. That night with Thai Shawn was pretty enlightening. It was a little awkward for both of us at the start because it was the first time we interact outside the context of the Army. The Thai dinner was fabulous and i think he really loved it. We talked about his insecurities while having a smoke and I realize that I'm not disgusted or repelled by his disgusting past. In any case i shouldn't be, since I'm his friend. But the point is that I realize I'm generally pretty accepting of people(okay maybe I've established this with J a long time ago but it doesn't hurt to revisit this thought! ). I just thought i would feel a little bit grossed out with his scary past. It did came as a surprise when i realize that i accepted him for who he is. He got really drunk and literally was being himself. This includes a lot of mumbling and fumbling on his side. He was totally right when he said the random mumblings were sort of the beginning of his fuckening. It acted as an omen, that his death was really approaching. I'm still quite surprised to know the next day that he got home safe. I still remember breaking the taxi's door handle in our state of drunkenness. We merely pulled open the door!
I feel ill yesterday. I had a fever and was really achy from top to toe. J was being really helpful and patient. I manage to see the doctor and got myself two days mc. This is why I have time to write this particularly long post. It's just a ramble and update on my current life. Everything's been pretty good. Had a few fights with J over the past month. We've been secretly wanting to fight with one another proper and we did it with a "Fuck it". We ate Penang Laksa and talked about everything else other than the fight because it doesn't really feels right to talk about your problems in an eatery that smells of heavy pork broth and basil herbs. So we talked about our fight and it was really easy to be honest. Thank god for that!
Teresa and Brandan broke up. We all saw it coming . Not that it was a bad thing, it could actually be a good one if you see it in a different light. When Brandan told me about, i was so agitated and worked. I was just thinking about how bad it is for Teresa and i really regretted not seeing things from Brandan's side. I mean i feel awful for not being supportive but i'm sure it happened for a proper reason. They didn't go that deep so it wouldn't be a problem for either of them to move on. And i think Teresa's pretty excited to move on. Whatever it is, It's going to be rough.
http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/12/04/twentysomething-why-i-regret-getting-straight-as-in-college/
Anyway, after digesting all that load of information, I'm back to wondering about my future. People teling me "Hey that's where you really should go" or "You wouldn't love it here". So really, is this whole chase for the paper worth it? I mean i only can see it as a measure of self worth. It's more like validation, rather than real life achievements. It's so boring to realize that I'm still stuck at this outdated dilema. Maybe it's time to find the solution, not think about solutions.
This past week has been a fantastic one. I've got time to connect with my friends, had a crazy-ass night with one of my army mate, gotten drunk and gotten ill. That's pretty eventful for anyone. it's like I hit the hi-s and low-s for this week. That night with Thai Shawn was pretty enlightening. It was a little awkward for both of us at the start because it was the first time we interact outside the context of the Army. The Thai dinner was fabulous and i think he really loved it. We talked about his insecurities while having a smoke and I realize that I'm not disgusted or repelled by his disgusting past. In any case i shouldn't be, since I'm his friend. But the point is that I realize I'm generally pretty accepting of people(okay maybe I've established this with J a long time ago but it doesn't hurt to revisit this thought! ). I just thought i would feel a little bit grossed out with his scary past. It did came as a surprise when i realize that i accepted him for who he is. He got really drunk and literally was being himself. This includes a lot of mumbling and fumbling on his side. He was totally right when he said the random mumblings were sort of the beginning of his fuckening. It acted as an omen, that his death was really approaching. I'm still quite surprised to know the next day that he got home safe. I still remember breaking the taxi's door handle in our state of drunkenness. We merely pulled open the door!
I feel ill yesterday. I had a fever and was really achy from top to toe. J was being really helpful and patient. I manage to see the doctor and got myself two days mc. This is why I have time to write this particularly long post. It's just a ramble and update on my current life. Everything's been pretty good. Had a few fights with J over the past month. We've been secretly wanting to fight with one another proper and we did it with a "Fuck it". We ate Penang Laksa and talked about everything else other than the fight because it doesn't really feels right to talk about your problems in an eatery that smells of heavy pork broth and basil herbs. So we talked about our fight and it was really easy to be honest. Thank god for that!
Teresa and Brandan broke up. We all saw it coming . Not that it was a bad thing, it could actually be a good one if you see it in a different light. When Brandan told me about, i was so agitated and worked. I was just thinking about how bad it is for Teresa and i really regretted not seeing things from Brandan's side. I mean i feel awful for not being supportive but i'm sure it happened for a proper reason. They didn't go that deep so it wouldn't be a problem for either of them to move on. And i think Teresa's pretty excited to move on. Whatever it is, It's going to be rough.