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i don't like being restricted from partying because of my sickness. it really sucks..........i mean, i guess i could go all crazy, but i know it aint good for my health....and stayin out in the cold ass weather isn't any good either. i am happy my mom is coming home next weekend which means i am making another trip to good ole K-town. HOLLA...it's all about the 253. fuck i miss that place sometimes. so i think i am gonna have a teachout filled spring break. but i am poor. so i dunno. maybe if my grades are decent my momma will be ever so kind and pay for my ass. but we shall see. i mean,she pays for like everything. i just don't wanna be lame. the rule in life is every spring break has to be better than the last. so last year was santa barbra and this year is fullerton. sounds like a plan to me. and even better mexico. i agree with emily. passing out in a dark alley sounds like an adventure. lol. not quite. but come on...i gotta try to live marissa's life....she is a goddess as we all know. oh yeah em i meant to tell you that there is a prof here named seth cohen so he does exist. how creepy is that?! i doubt he is as hot though. lol. uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...why do girls let guys control their emotions????? this thought really has bothered me. maybe it's just because i can't have my way, and that bothers me even more. in the perfect world i would say COME OVER and he would say WHEN......yah. yah fuckin right. but why????? why isnt' this possible?? if it was the one thing i could ask for myself in life, that would be it. control of one man for eternity. i dunno if it would be the guy in particular that i am thinking of now, but.......still. ugh. guys are just too lame sometimes. and it is sad how reliant i am on them for emotional stability. like, that makes me fucked up.....and jealousy is a bitch, esp when there is not a reason in hell to be jealous. how am i gonna be married. maybe i should pull an anna nicole smith move. marry a geezer for money, then when he dies live a fabulous rich lifestyle promoting trim spa and playing with my dog........and hitting on my sons friends. sounds good to me. yah i guess i am just housewife material. fuck work. i mean, shit. i would graduate, marry and be a mom if i could right now. i really think i could. bring on the babies!!!!!!!!!!!! no, i am crazy. but we already knew that. it's sad cause i am sitting here in the EMU (and no that is not a bird) in the comp lab wasting time before class jabbering about nothing and everything all at the same time. i always wonder if someone at another computer is reading my shit. not like i care, i mean this is on the net so anyone can read it....not like anyone does...except for my mini fan club.......oh i will be making badges for the "i suck at life" club. lemme know if you want one. hm. that is about all the random shit in my head right now. i gotta stop typin cause the keys are really annoying with my nails. a thank you and goodnight.