This is all wonderful and I agree with all of it EXCEPT Dean's line about Sam wanting a divorce. I actually think this is him worrying that he has driven Sam away. Because of course he didn't apologize which means he never got to hear Sam say (explicitly or not) "it's okay, I would do anything for you" and so he doesn't really know if they are okay, and he's trying to get the answer from Cas.
Oh, I agree, it's problematic. I just don't think it's problematic in the way duckondebut does. And I think worrying about Sam wanting to leave him does show some empathy, but not enough for him to, you know, act on it.
It's probably more subjective than anything, but the line still feels almost jarringly flippant to me? There was a gifset going around on my dash that compiled all the times that SamnDean were referred to in terms of a married couple, and it's usually, "you two fight like an old married couple" after a minor squabble or an argument. This line from 10x03 was used as the last gif in the set, and it was a case of, "one of these is not like the others." So, to me, Dean phrasing it that way was him trivialising what had happened and how he expected Sam to react, and it's especially awful because he remembers every single damn thing he said to the man. Connotations do matter.
I suppose so. I'm just used to Dean being flippant to hide his true feelings, and to me, that line translates to "how badly have I fucked up here?" It will be very interesting to see where this goes next, and how Dean expects Sam to feel about all of it (because you KNOW he has expectations!)
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