Fanfic & The Thick of It series 4
I'm working on two right now for The Thick of It.
I was going great guns on one when the finale happened. Now I'm not sure what to do. I was absolutely gutted by the episode and I feel like the entire way I've related to the show has been destroyed. Doesn't that sound crazy? I just feel like the three years I've spent just loving the hell out of it has just been ripped out from under me. Both in terms of the show ending as in no more show forever, which sucks so unbelievably hard (which is weird considering my feelings about the last series), and in terms of how the show ended which just tore out my insides. Was it the lack of resolution? Was it the sense of impending doom? Was it the unbelievable cynicism and utter futility of it all? Why did I spend three years loving this if it ended like this? Would it be easier to accept if it were like Blackadder or Callan and I came to it years later without the emotional investment I've been carrying around since I saw In the Loop and thought what the hell, I should see what this is based on and then was thrilled, utterly thrilled when series three started so unexpectedly and was so awesome. I remember being scared to watch 308 because I was so afraid something horrible was going to happen to Malcolm. Jesus Christ, if only I knew. 308 has snuggly Malcolm. 308 has Julius. 308 has Malcolm in his element rallying the troops for battle. I love series 3.
I think it would be fair to say I hate series 4.
I waited three years for series 4 and...it's not the same. It isn't nearly the same. The Coalition is awful. Malcolm and Nicola are so much smaller and weaker and angrier. The whole series seems so much meaner and smaller and more contemptuous. Not flawed people just trying to get through their day with minimal cock-ups, but horrible cruel monsters trying to destroy and humiliate each other. There were some funny moments, but on the whole I found it nerve wracking to watch, not actually particularly enjoyable. PC of course killed me, but I think I will carry with me for years his final scenes and I will never be able to look at the show or enjoy it the same way because of them.
So anyway, one of the stories is post 407 so I'm trying to work out my various ~feels with it, but it means I have to think about 407 which I kind of really don't want to do. I started it after 406 so even though a lot of what I originally wrote is applicably, adapting it to the even darker and bleaker 407 is pretty hard. I think Nicola would go to Malcolm despite everything, and Malcolm's view of himself could well be flawed, even if he thinks or knows the original Malcolm is gone, that doesn't mean the Malcolm Nicola first met in 301 isn't a legitimate Malcolm. He's in so much pain and Nicola might be an utterly crap politician, but there were moments when she got him like no one else could. I just have to tap into that and get them into the damn cottage already.
The other is a post-Spinner and Losers Malcolm and Julius piece that I've spent a ton if time on and nothing in the new series has any effect on it. If Julius had come back, it would be one thing, but he didn't so all I have is the same amount to work with that I did before the new series started. Plus a greater understanding (I hope) of their dynamic based on rewatching the series how many times over the past weeks. Will I ever be able to do that again in the same way? I don't know. When I watched 101-103 last night I just kind of felt sick. Seeing Ollie and knowing what he turns into was just horrible. I just need to let the craziness go. The Thick of It didn't end last Saturday. It ended on the last day of filming back earlier in the year. It's not even totally over yet because there is more to be had on the dvds. The commentaries might be completely disappointing, but they will I hope give me some perspective and explain some of the elements I found lacking in the current series.
And The Hour starts on the 14th with a part written for PC so that ought not to suck.
Writing thing -- The problem is I can feel my interest retreating and I don't want it to retreat before I'm done. I've enjoyed the writing more than I've enjoyed just about anything over the past few months and if I lose this thread of interest, I won't be able to finish something I really want to finish. Two months seems like a long time, but it really wasn't. From 401 to 407 went by in a flash and it's going to be a long time before I get over it.
Please Armando, just one more hour. Hell, just 30 more minutes to wrap it all up and take away the image of Malcolm in the back of that fucking cab.
I was going great guns on one when the finale happened. Now I'm not sure what to do. I was absolutely gutted by the episode and I feel like the entire way I've related to the show has been destroyed. Doesn't that sound crazy? I just feel like the three years I've spent just loving the hell out of it has just been ripped out from under me. Both in terms of the show ending as in no more show forever, which sucks so unbelievably hard (which is weird considering my feelings about the last series), and in terms of how the show ended which just tore out my insides. Was it the lack of resolution? Was it the sense of impending doom? Was it the unbelievable cynicism and utter futility of it all? Why did I spend three years loving this if it ended like this? Would it be easier to accept if it were like Blackadder or Callan and I came to it years later without the emotional investment I've been carrying around since I saw In the Loop and thought what the hell, I should see what this is based on and then was thrilled, utterly thrilled when series three started so unexpectedly and was so awesome. I remember being scared to watch 308 because I was so afraid something horrible was going to happen to Malcolm. Jesus Christ, if only I knew. 308 has snuggly Malcolm. 308 has Julius. 308 has Malcolm in his element rallying the troops for battle. I love series 3.
I think it would be fair to say I hate series 4.
I waited three years for series 4 and...it's not the same. It isn't nearly the same. The Coalition is awful. Malcolm and Nicola are so much smaller and weaker and angrier. The whole series seems so much meaner and smaller and more contemptuous. Not flawed people just trying to get through their day with minimal cock-ups, but horrible cruel monsters trying to destroy and humiliate each other. There were some funny moments, but on the whole I found it nerve wracking to watch, not actually particularly enjoyable. PC of course killed me, but I think I will carry with me for years his final scenes and I will never be able to look at the show or enjoy it the same way because of them.
So anyway, one of the stories is post 407 so I'm trying to work out my various ~feels with it, but it means I have to think about 407 which I kind of really don't want to do. I started it after 406 so even though a lot of what I originally wrote is applicably, adapting it to the even darker and bleaker 407 is pretty hard. I think Nicola would go to Malcolm despite everything, and Malcolm's view of himself could well be flawed, even if he thinks or knows the original Malcolm is gone, that doesn't mean the Malcolm Nicola first met in 301 isn't a legitimate Malcolm. He's in so much pain and Nicola might be an utterly crap politician, but there were moments when she got him like no one else could. I just have to tap into that and get them into the damn cottage already.
The other is a post-Spinner and Losers Malcolm and Julius piece that I've spent a ton if time on and nothing in the new series has any effect on it. If Julius had come back, it would be one thing, but he didn't so all I have is the same amount to work with that I did before the new series started. Plus a greater understanding (I hope) of their dynamic based on rewatching the series how many times over the past weeks. Will I ever be able to do that again in the same way? I don't know. When I watched 101-103 last night I just kind of felt sick. Seeing Ollie and knowing what he turns into was just horrible. I just need to let the craziness go. The Thick of It didn't end last Saturday. It ended on the last day of filming back earlier in the year. It's not even totally over yet because there is more to be had on the dvds. The commentaries might be completely disappointing, but they will I hope give me some perspective and explain some of the elements I found lacking in the current series.
And The Hour starts on the 14th with a part written for PC so that ought not to suck.
Writing thing -- The problem is I can feel my interest retreating and I don't want it to retreat before I'm done. I've enjoyed the writing more than I've enjoyed just about anything over the past few months and if I lose this thread of interest, I won't be able to finish something I really want to finish. Two months seems like a long time, but it really wasn't. From 401 to 407 went by in a flash and it's going to be a long time before I get over it.
Please Armando, just one more hour. Hell, just 30 more minutes to wrap it all up and take away the image of Malcolm in the back of that fucking cab.