(no subject)
I've been saying for the past couple of years that I wanted to be a librarian. I don't think I do, though...I want to make things. I don't know what I want to make, but being stuck doing what I am doing now just isn't it. I know that librarianship isn't quite the same as what I'm doing here...what I'm doing here is general office work in a setting with lots of books...but I'm just not sure that I see it as being very different anymore.
It's not that I dislike my job; it's a good job. I just don't want to bother with two more years of school (for me there's a huge difference between going to school and learning...I like choosing what I'm learning, and I don't have a very long attention span, and I'm really sick of trying to come up with new ways of regurgitating old information because that's what professors want) for the same thing as I'm doing now. It's not worth it to me.
I want to run away and apprentice myself to someone doing real things at Ren Faire...except that they're not real things in today's world. Clothes come from China; people don't buy the sort of clothes that I would want to learn to make. Blacksmiths make car parts (and let's face it, I just won't be able to build the muscle to work with iron any time within the next twenty years), goldsmiths make gaudy rings that I wouldn't want any part in. I'd love to learn to blow glass, but there're probably a couple hundred people before me on the list. I don't even know if I can sell the hats that I'm constantly crocheting...look at where we live. People only need hats for four months a year here, if that, and I don't have a clue as to what'll be popular enough to sell. I don't pay attention to fashion, except to see if there's something I like in it.
How is it that it took me nearly a minute to think of a sentence that didn't start with "I"? Meh, I'm depressed.