Crap
I can't walk away. I've tried for 2 days straight now. I get done talking to him, tell him to have a great week/month/year whatever and that I hope he finds what makes him happy. He tells me the same thing. We say bye. Then a minute later he tells me Im funny. And then the next thing I know another 3 hours have gone by with us constantly talking. Him telling me he will always appreciate everything that Ive done for him, how he cherishes what a great friend I am, how he will never give me up as a friend nor be able to set me aside. By that time Im in tears again. Just cuz he's so fricken sweet. Then, I dont know what happens, but he starts talking about something completely different, gives me a few online hugs, and suddenly I've sorta got a smile. Things almost seem right again, till I completely forget that I was crying before and just get lost in everything all over again. I don't want to lose him as a friend either. But, I dont know how many of these roller coaster type days I can take. Then again, I dont know if I can survive without them either.
Just when I thought every last bit of this was over, and I could move on, I find out it will never really be over. Cuz he'll always be my friend, no matter how hard I try to walk away from that, it will never happen. As much as it hurts, I can't give him up. Losing him completely would be even worse.
This seems to be a never ending on going thing.
It's a mini blizzard outside, but I think I'm still going to make it out to Molly's thing. More than that, I think I need to. Maybe I'll have a drink or two so maybe I can find a smile again.
Just when I thought every last bit of this was over, and I could move on, I find out it will never really be over. Cuz he'll always be my friend, no matter how hard I try to walk away from that, it will never happen. As much as it hurts, I can't give him up. Losing him completely would be even worse.
This seems to be a never ending on going thing.
It's a mini blizzard outside, but I think I'm still going to make it out to Molly's thing. More than that, I think I need to. Maybe I'll have a drink or two so maybe I can find a smile again.