My Faith??
So i was talking to tara yesterday and i was telling her all about the show and what has been going on in my life. And i realized something, that im really happy right now. I guess that you can say that is a good thing, which it is, but theres also this....
Faith wise that i have done nothing. I haven't read my bible, or prayed, or even gone to club in a good two weeks because of my schedual. And im happy. I miss my jr high kids a lot, but thats it. I really don't feel like a christian right now and it scares me. I'm feeling right now like i don't need it, it isn't a nessesity in my life. I haven't had it in my life for a few weeks and things have been going great for me. I'm happy at school, im happy with my friends, im happy with my relationship with my parents, and im happy about other things that aren't going to be mentioned here.
So now im questioning a lot of things when it comes to my faith, one of my best friends is gay. How am i suposed believe that hes not going to go to heaven. Hes an amazing person and i love him, but because of my faith i am told that he will not go to heaven. How can things be going the best they have been in a long time if the only thing that has changed in my life is that my faith has been put on hold. Basically im questioning what my faith has done for me.
~Has it made me believe in the good of people? not really, its almost the opposite
~Has it really made my life better? my life the past two weeks have proved that wrong
~Has it made me a better person? my morals have been the same through my whole life, so not really
~Has it made me be more accepting of people? no, it has forced me to look at what is wrong with none christians instead of what is good in them
So basically i don't know what is going on with my faith, and i don't know what will happen in the end. But right now my life is going great. I love the people that i have meet though my faith, i meet my sister. I also love the people that the bible says aren't going to heaven. How can i believe all these things that people have been telling me when in actuality my life has proved to me that it is not true?
Faith wise that i have done nothing. I haven't read my bible, or prayed, or even gone to club in a good two weeks because of my schedual. And im happy. I miss my jr high kids a lot, but thats it. I really don't feel like a christian right now and it scares me. I'm feeling right now like i don't need it, it isn't a nessesity in my life. I haven't had it in my life for a few weeks and things have been going great for me. I'm happy at school, im happy with my friends, im happy with my relationship with my parents, and im happy about other things that aren't going to be mentioned here.
So now im questioning a lot of things when it comes to my faith, one of my best friends is gay. How am i suposed believe that hes not going to go to heaven. Hes an amazing person and i love him, but because of my faith i am told that he will not go to heaven. How can things be going the best they have been in a long time if the only thing that has changed in my life is that my faith has been put on hold. Basically im questioning what my faith has done for me.
~Has it made me believe in the good of people? not really, its almost the opposite
~Has it really made my life better? my life the past two weeks have proved that wrong
~Has it made me a better person? my morals have been the same through my whole life, so not really
~Has it made me be more accepting of people? no, it has forced me to look at what is wrong with none christians instead of what is good in them
So basically i don't know what is going on with my faith, and i don't know what will happen in the end. But right now my life is going great. I love the people that i have meet though my faith, i meet my sister. I also love the people that the bible says aren't going to heaven. How can i believe all these things that people have been telling me when in actuality my life has proved to me that it is not true?