HP Fic - “Unplottable”
Title: Unplottable
Fandom: Harry Potter
Prompt: Something quintessentially British
Wordcount: 1617
Genre: General/Adventure
Rating/Warnings: K+
Summary: The Marauders go on a search for a hidden castle.
Author’s Notes: For shimotsuki: Merry Christmas in April! :) The prompt was Harry Potter characters and something awesome I’d discovered in the U.K. that the U.S. doesn’t have - and, after thinking about it for a while, I decided to go with castles. :D
-
“Hm,” said Remus one afternoon, looking thoughtfully down at the book spread on his lap. “That’s odd.”
“What is?” Peter asked, because James and Sirius were scowling feelingly at their game of chess and didn’t appear to be listening.
“Well,” said Remus, eyes still fixed on the book, “you know how it’s two miles south to the Muggle village, and two miles north to the observatory?”
“Yeah,” said James, without looking up, “everyone knows that’s why the range on the school broomsticks is only one mile from the school - no terrorizing the Muggles. What of it?”
“Well,” Remus said slowly, “the thing is, I’m looking at a Muggle map of the area, and the town and the observatory are only a mile and a half apart.”
“Well, Muggles are stupid,” said Sirius, moving his knight. “They can’t see Hogwarts, so they probably just plotted up to it on either side.”
“But there is a castle on here,” Remus said, pointing. All three of his friends looked over.
“There can’t be,” Peter frowned. “I thought Hogwarts was unplottable. Unless they’ve got it in the wrong place.”
“Hogwarts is unplottable,” Remus said. “This is a different castle. Look, it has a Gaelic name.”
The others drew around to look, and James shook his head. “That’s impossible. There’s no castle there; that must be the one the Muggles are enchanted to see. Remember, we heard when we came here: if they get close to Hogwarts, they see an old rotting castle that says Danger, Keep Out. Someone must have put it on a map, is all.”
“Yes, but how would they know the name, then?” Remus pressed. “I think there’s a different reason.”
“Oh?”
“Well,” said Remus, face going a bit hot as all three of his friends paused what they were doing and listened expectantly, “I think there’s an old castle there, and Hogwarts is sort of on top of it. Not - actually on top of it, but… you know how you catch a bug on a piece of paper, by putting one edge flat against the wall so it doesn’t notice it’s walked onto the paper? And then you can curve the paper, or move it, or roll it, and the bug would just keep walking and think it’s on flat ground? You’d never be able to plot a point from the paper onto the wall, because the distances wouldn’t be the same. What if Hogwarts is like that?”
There was silence for a moment.
“…so we’re bugs on a piece of paper,” Sirius finally said, sounding nonplussed.
“Well, maybe it wasn’t the best analogy,” Remus admitted. “But that means there could be a layer under Hogwarts - metaphorically speaking, not actually under - that we’ve never seen, because we’re able to walk onto the magical layer every time.”
James’s eyes lit up. “We could go explore it! How d’you think we get there?”
“Well,” Remus said, “I imagine the magical layer sort of lets us in because we’re looking for it, or maybe because we’re wizards.”
“Well,” said Sirius, “that’s easy. All we have to do is go and come back concentrating on the other one.”
-
Concentrating on the other one didn’t work.
“Well, that’s easy,” said Sirius, hands on his hips as they stood in the mockingly-magical grounds of Hogwarts. “All we have to do is fool it into thinking we’re Muggles.”
-
“This potion of yours had better not get us killed, Remus,” said James as the four sat in their dormitory, waiting for the common room to empty so they could sneak out.
“Oh, no,” said Remus. “You and Sirius were the ones who insisted on doing this; I absolve myself of all responsibility. I said this was a stupid idea.”
“Then why are you going along with it?” Sirius asked.
“Somebody has to save you when things inevitably go wrong.”
“Hey, you three,” Peter hissed from the staircase. “I think the coast is clear; come on.”
It was the work of a few minutes to sneak out of the castle - after all, they’d done it hundreds of times before. The walk to the Muggle village, however, was not so quick, and they were all glad to see the rooftops finally coming into sight.
“All right,” said Remus. “I’ve measured out the servings - they’ll last us for two hours, so we should be back here by then. And be careful.”
“Depriving ourselves of our magic in an unknown forest, in the middle of the night, is a really stupid idea,” said Peter mildly, taking his bottle of potion. “Just saying.”
“Just think about it, though,” James enthused. “We’ll be the first students - maybe the first people since the founders - ever to see this place!”
“Besides every Muggle who’s ever wandered by,” Remus pointed out before draining his little bottle. “Ugh, that tastes as bad as the book said it would.”
“Good,” said Sirius. “That means you made it right. Cheers, gentlemen.”
-
“I feel naked,” James complained as they hiked through the forest.
“Thank you for telling us,” Sirius said. “Please go on.”
“No, really,” James insisted. “What if we meet - I don’t know, a bear or something? Or a serial killer? We might as well be carrying sticks for all the good our wands will do us. We are carrying sticks.”
“We’re not going to meet a bear, or a serial killer,” Remus said patiently.
“How do you know?” James demanded. “What if we meet a bear who’s a serial killer? I saw this movie, once, when I snuck into a Muggle cinema - there were chemicals from some experimental drug factory in the water, and then the bear drank from the stream, and then it got really smart, and it was angry because campers were always leaving rubbish in the woods, so it decided to start killing them and leave a hidden message-”
“That movie sounds like absolute shite,” Sirius said calmly, “and we’re not going to meet any serial-killing bears. Keep walking.”
“I think we’re getting there,” said Peter. “This area looks different than it normally does; I think we’re in the non-magical layer.”
“I would have to agree,” Remus said, pointing. “Look.”
Just ahead and across a clearing, in the shadows of enormous, towering dark trees, at the edge of a lake clouded with lilies and weeds, was an ancient, crumbling stone castle with a sign that said Keep Out, Unsafe hanging over what must have once been the front door. The doorway was empty now, and the roof was open, stone walls rough with weather and smooth with moss. It was a ruin now, but in its earliest days, it must have been magnificent.
“It says ‘Unsafe’,” Peter murmured, squinting skeptically at the doorway. “Are we going to go inside anyway?”
Sirius folded his arms and grinned. “Of course.”
-
“This is incredible,” Remus breathed, looking around at the vine-choked stone walls. “It must be as old as Hogwarts - older, even, maybe. D’you think the founders put the school here on purpose? A castle on top of a castle? I wonder if people lived in it back then.”
“I dunno,” James said. “But look at this - we’re not the first students to come here.” He pointed to a large rock in the center of what had probably once been a courtyard; names and dates were scratched into its sides. “Whoa, this one says 1929, look - and here’s a 1755! Some of these are more than a hundred years old!”
“Anyone from our year?” Sirius asked curiously. “Or are we the first?”
“Doesn’t look like it,” James reported smugly. “I guess we’ll be the ones to put-”
“No, wait, look here,” said Peter, pointing.
They all gathered around to look, where L. Evans was scratched into the stone - and, not far away, S. Snape.
“No,” James moaned. “Just no. Evans and Snape beat us here?”
“Look at the date,” Remus said, squinting. “They were here four years ago.”
“No - what?” James yelped. “They found this place four years before we did? No; that’s just not fair.”
“Think about it, though,” Sirius said, eyes suddenly lighting up. “They don’t know that we know they were here. What if we managed to convince them there was some kind of curse or something, that they’d managed to wake up?”
“Four years later?” James asked, sounding skeptical. Sirius waved his hand dismissively.
“Four years is nothing for an angered spirit - and besides, maybe they’ve been back since then. Come on; I’ve got some ideas for what we can do.” He grinned and started out of the castle, and a moment later, James followed, expression gradually changing from uncertain disappointment to mischievous hope. Soon after, both the two had disappeared from sight.
A moment passed, and then Peter let out a sigh of relief, stepping away from the part of the rock he’d been leaning on nonchalantly, and gave Remus a wry smile.
“Nice job pretending today was the first time this idea had ever occurred to you. Are we ever going to tell them that we were with Evans and Snape when they came here?”
Remus stuck his hands in his pockets and grinned, looking fondly around at the old, weathered walls of the ancient castle and appearing to consider for a moment. “Nope.”
Fandom: Harry Potter
Prompt: Something quintessentially British
Wordcount: 1617
Genre: General/Adventure
Rating/Warnings: K+
Summary: The Marauders go on a search for a hidden castle.
Author’s Notes: For shimotsuki: Merry Christmas in April! :) The prompt was Harry Potter characters and something awesome I’d discovered in the U.K. that the U.S. doesn’t have - and, after thinking about it for a while, I decided to go with castles. :D
-
“Hm,” said Remus one afternoon, looking thoughtfully down at the book spread on his lap. “That’s odd.”
“What is?” Peter asked, because James and Sirius were scowling feelingly at their game of chess and didn’t appear to be listening.
“Well,” said Remus, eyes still fixed on the book, “you know how it’s two miles south to the Muggle village, and two miles north to the observatory?”
“Yeah,” said James, without looking up, “everyone knows that’s why the range on the school broomsticks is only one mile from the school - no terrorizing the Muggles. What of it?”
“Well,” Remus said slowly, “the thing is, I’m looking at a Muggle map of the area, and the town and the observatory are only a mile and a half apart.”
“Well, Muggles are stupid,” said Sirius, moving his knight. “They can’t see Hogwarts, so they probably just plotted up to it on either side.”
“But there is a castle on here,” Remus said, pointing. All three of his friends looked over.
“There can’t be,” Peter frowned. “I thought Hogwarts was unplottable. Unless they’ve got it in the wrong place.”
“Hogwarts is unplottable,” Remus said. “This is a different castle. Look, it has a Gaelic name.”
The others drew around to look, and James shook his head. “That’s impossible. There’s no castle there; that must be the one the Muggles are enchanted to see. Remember, we heard when we came here: if they get close to Hogwarts, they see an old rotting castle that says Danger, Keep Out. Someone must have put it on a map, is all.”
“Yes, but how would they know the name, then?” Remus pressed. “I think there’s a different reason.”
“Oh?”
“Well,” said Remus, face going a bit hot as all three of his friends paused what they were doing and listened expectantly, “I think there’s an old castle there, and Hogwarts is sort of on top of it. Not - actually on top of it, but… you know how you catch a bug on a piece of paper, by putting one edge flat against the wall so it doesn’t notice it’s walked onto the paper? And then you can curve the paper, or move it, or roll it, and the bug would just keep walking and think it’s on flat ground? You’d never be able to plot a point from the paper onto the wall, because the distances wouldn’t be the same. What if Hogwarts is like that?”
There was silence for a moment.
“…so we’re bugs on a piece of paper,” Sirius finally said, sounding nonplussed.
“Well, maybe it wasn’t the best analogy,” Remus admitted. “But that means there could be a layer under Hogwarts - metaphorically speaking, not actually under - that we’ve never seen, because we’re able to walk onto the magical layer every time.”
James’s eyes lit up. “We could go explore it! How d’you think we get there?”
“Well,” Remus said, “I imagine the magical layer sort of lets us in because we’re looking for it, or maybe because we’re wizards.”
“Well,” said Sirius, “that’s easy. All we have to do is go and come back concentrating on the other one.”
-
Concentrating on the other one didn’t work.
“Well, that’s easy,” said Sirius, hands on his hips as they stood in the mockingly-magical grounds of Hogwarts. “All we have to do is fool it into thinking we’re Muggles.”
-
“This potion of yours had better not get us killed, Remus,” said James as the four sat in their dormitory, waiting for the common room to empty so they could sneak out.
“Oh, no,” said Remus. “You and Sirius were the ones who insisted on doing this; I absolve myself of all responsibility. I said this was a stupid idea.”
“Then why are you going along with it?” Sirius asked.
“Somebody has to save you when things inevitably go wrong.”
“Hey, you three,” Peter hissed from the staircase. “I think the coast is clear; come on.”
It was the work of a few minutes to sneak out of the castle - after all, they’d done it hundreds of times before. The walk to the Muggle village, however, was not so quick, and they were all glad to see the rooftops finally coming into sight.
“All right,” said Remus. “I’ve measured out the servings - they’ll last us for two hours, so we should be back here by then. And be careful.”
“Depriving ourselves of our magic in an unknown forest, in the middle of the night, is a really stupid idea,” said Peter mildly, taking his bottle of potion. “Just saying.”
“Just think about it, though,” James enthused. “We’ll be the first students - maybe the first people since the founders - ever to see this place!”
“Besides every Muggle who’s ever wandered by,” Remus pointed out before draining his little bottle. “Ugh, that tastes as bad as the book said it would.”
“Good,” said Sirius. “That means you made it right. Cheers, gentlemen.”
-
“I feel naked,” James complained as they hiked through the forest.
“Thank you for telling us,” Sirius said. “Please go on.”
“No, really,” James insisted. “What if we meet - I don’t know, a bear or something? Or a serial killer? We might as well be carrying sticks for all the good our wands will do us. We are carrying sticks.”
“We’re not going to meet a bear, or a serial killer,” Remus said patiently.
“How do you know?” James demanded. “What if we meet a bear who’s a serial killer? I saw this movie, once, when I snuck into a Muggle cinema - there were chemicals from some experimental drug factory in the water, and then the bear drank from the stream, and then it got really smart, and it was angry because campers were always leaving rubbish in the woods, so it decided to start killing them and leave a hidden message-”
“That movie sounds like absolute shite,” Sirius said calmly, “and we’re not going to meet any serial-killing bears. Keep walking.”
“I think we’re getting there,” said Peter. “This area looks different than it normally does; I think we’re in the non-magical layer.”
“I would have to agree,” Remus said, pointing. “Look.”
Just ahead and across a clearing, in the shadows of enormous, towering dark trees, at the edge of a lake clouded with lilies and weeds, was an ancient, crumbling stone castle with a sign that said Keep Out, Unsafe hanging over what must have once been the front door. The doorway was empty now, and the roof was open, stone walls rough with weather and smooth with moss. It was a ruin now, but in its earliest days, it must have been magnificent.
“It says ‘Unsafe’,” Peter murmured, squinting skeptically at the doorway. “Are we going to go inside anyway?”
Sirius folded his arms and grinned. “Of course.”
-
“This is incredible,” Remus breathed, looking around at the vine-choked stone walls. “It must be as old as Hogwarts - older, even, maybe. D’you think the founders put the school here on purpose? A castle on top of a castle? I wonder if people lived in it back then.”
“I dunno,” James said. “But look at this - we’re not the first students to come here.” He pointed to a large rock in the center of what had probably once been a courtyard; names and dates were scratched into its sides. “Whoa, this one says 1929, look - and here’s a 1755! Some of these are more than a hundred years old!”
“Anyone from our year?” Sirius asked curiously. “Or are we the first?”
“Doesn’t look like it,” James reported smugly. “I guess we’ll be the ones to put-”
“No, wait, look here,” said Peter, pointing.
They all gathered around to look, where L. Evans was scratched into the stone - and, not far away, S. Snape.
“No,” James moaned. “Just no. Evans and Snape beat us here?”
“Look at the date,” Remus said, squinting. “They were here four years ago.”
“No - what?” James yelped. “They found this place four years before we did? No; that’s just not fair.”
“Think about it, though,” Sirius said, eyes suddenly lighting up. “They don’t know that we know they were here. What if we managed to convince them there was some kind of curse or something, that they’d managed to wake up?”
“Four years later?” James asked, sounding skeptical. Sirius waved his hand dismissively.
“Four years is nothing for an angered spirit - and besides, maybe they’ve been back since then. Come on; I’ve got some ideas for what we can do.” He grinned and started out of the castle, and a moment later, James followed, expression gradually changing from uncertain disappointment to mischievous hope. Soon after, both the two had disappeared from sight.
A moment passed, and then Peter let out a sigh of relief, stepping away from the part of the rock he’d been leaning on nonchalantly, and gave Remus a wry smile.
“Nice job pretending today was the first time this idea had ever occurred to you. Are we ever going to tell them that we were with Evans and Snape when they came here?”
Remus stuck his hands in his pockets and grinned, looking fondly around at the old, weathered walls of the ancient castle and appearing to consider for a moment. “Nope.”