lots it all
i guess u have to lose everything before u can have what u want, i've lost my girlfriends,(exept one) my best friend, hell my whole life. all i have now is my job. i'm sick of it all. things never work out for me, u think i'd be used to losing things/ppl by now but actually the more i lose the more i hurt. i'm starting to feel as if i have nothing left to keep me going. the only time i ever leave my house is to go to work. or the ocasional time to go out with alicia. who ever thought that tring to have a better life could actually make it worse, now i realize why i've always fail to change, 1 everytime i do i lose my friends, 2. it gets way to depressing, 3. i lose track of y i'm actually changing.. i'm i really doing this for me?? or am i just trying to be someone i'm not. i've always had this picture of who i wanted to be in my head, and i'm starting to feel like it's not the person i'm ment to be. i dunno, this is all way to confusing. i'm not sure what i'm ganna do anymore...