You Only Got One Chance
My friend and I have this running joke about law school in Detroit, and to try to make it fun, we put Eminem in the mix and reference all his music, particularly "Lose Yourself" given that's in the soundtrack for the film "8 Mile" We have a great time with this joke but obviously there's something more to it which brings me to this entry.
In the past few several months, I lost passion for a lot of things I was involved in, I was essentially going through the motions, falling into the cracks and really having no regard for what I wanted, why I was doing all the things I was involved myself in. I lost focus, things that were completely out of my control got to me and I knew I had no control but I still thought it was a failure for it being out of my hands. It even showed here on Livejournal where I just stopped writing posts.
On Monday, I got a huge wake up call, for now I won't discuss the actual circumstances but it got me to start thinking about a lot of things in life and really what I wanted. It's not so much law school or holding a 9-5 job down or even getting master's but rather knowing that I am just not standing still but I am going forward, I am moving, I'm dynamic, there's movement, activity going on in my life that it's worth recounting and sharing with others.
We all have get into a funk, where things seem to not to go our way, and just hit a brick wall. I figured this out at work several months ago, I encountered it being burnt out during my grad program last semester, I was spent in trying to deal with my personal relationships thinking what can be done.
In about 3 weeks, I will walk up and receive my academic hood as a master's candidate, it should be a great feeling but it's more a sense of relief, the program is winding down. However, I am looking forward to the future past August 7, 2009, which could lead me into several directions:
1. I got into law school!!!! I got my acceptance letter from Florida A&M on Friday and if I commit and move to Florida, right after my last class in the summer, I have relocate and start anew in Orlando, FL to pursue my JD degree. It's not so much Florida A&M but rather the fact that someone somewhere in the country said you're good enough to become an attorney, you're good enough to study law. After receiving over 20 rejections and 3 waitlist letters, I never won the lottery much less a Scratcher, but reading that acceptance letter definitely like I won something huge and all the hard work paid off! My roomie said it best when I told her about it where it's expected for us to get these post-graduate degree but getting into law school, no matter what it is is a pretty big deal!
2. Depending on how the other 8 schools pan out and the movement on the other 2 schools I am waitlisted at, I could just process all over and just focus on studying for the LSAT, it would be the 6th final time for the 2 year period to take it (the next time I can take it is in December 2010) and really focus on getting into the school of my choice (USC or Loyola I am not picky)
3. Continue to work and really center myself again, and continue the grind, and find what made me so excited about this job when I started nearly 2 years ago. What made me choose it over Fox which provided me a great track to a legal career in starting at the beginning. I need to release those things and see where it takes me.
4. Get a Master's degree at USC. The application for it is due July 1st, but I am intending to turn it in by May 1. This program, Communication Management sounds like an awesome program with a track in Policy and Law and the law they focus on is Intellectual Property so focus on media law which is perfect. It will definitely expose me more to the field, I really want to shape and craft this career and rather go in blind, I want to be ready so it's something I can consider and definitely have a good chance of getting in.
5. See what the other 8 schools say, and if one offers me a spot, take it! This is what I am waiting on, there are 5 schools in California on the line, 2 in Michigan, and Notre Dame (why is that rejection letter taking forever)
Now I am left with several opportunities to choose but I got one shot to pursue any of them because this is the right time for it to happen. For the past 2 days, I have been thinking what is best for me and this is what I came up with:
I want to live a life of excitement and fulfillment where I am challenged and pushed to the limits to respond to them. I want to learn and know everything I can about the world in a narrow focus and in this case, law. I want to be happy, I want to be proud of what I have done. I want my family to be healthy and happy so they can share this with me. I want to stay connected to my friends I have had for so long and new ones I am just starting to discover and learn more about so I can share my life with them. Furthermore, I want a certain someone to not be afraid of me or really our friendship, I want this person to be challenge and to take advantage of all their opportunities, I want this persont to know how special they made me feel and despite everything that has happened, they still manage to do this for me. Most of all, I want to get to know myself a little better, I feel like along the way I forgot to give that quality time.
In the past few several months, I lost passion for a lot of things I was involved in, I was essentially going through the motions, falling into the cracks and really having no regard for what I wanted, why I was doing all the things I was involved myself in. I lost focus, things that were completely out of my control got to me and I knew I had no control but I still thought it was a failure for it being out of my hands. It even showed here on Livejournal where I just stopped writing posts.
On Monday, I got a huge wake up call, for now I won't discuss the actual circumstances but it got me to start thinking about a lot of things in life and really what I wanted. It's not so much law school or holding a 9-5 job down or even getting master's but rather knowing that I am just not standing still but I am going forward, I am moving, I'm dynamic, there's movement, activity going on in my life that it's worth recounting and sharing with others.
We all have get into a funk, where things seem to not to go our way, and just hit a brick wall. I figured this out at work several months ago, I encountered it being burnt out during my grad program last semester, I was spent in trying to deal with my personal relationships thinking what can be done.
In about 3 weeks, I will walk up and receive my academic hood as a master's candidate, it should be a great feeling but it's more a sense of relief, the program is winding down. However, I am looking forward to the future past August 7, 2009, which could lead me into several directions:
1. I got into law school!!!! I got my acceptance letter from Florida A&M on Friday and if I commit and move to Florida, right after my last class in the summer, I have relocate and start anew in Orlando, FL to pursue my JD degree. It's not so much Florida A&M but rather the fact that someone somewhere in the country said you're good enough to become an attorney, you're good enough to study law. After receiving over 20 rejections and 3 waitlist letters, I never won the lottery much less a Scratcher, but reading that acceptance letter definitely like I won something huge and all the hard work paid off! My roomie said it best when I told her about it where it's expected for us to get these post-graduate degree but getting into law school, no matter what it is is a pretty big deal!
2. Depending on how the other 8 schools pan out and the movement on the other 2 schools I am waitlisted at, I could just process all over and just focus on studying for the LSAT, it would be the 6th final time for the 2 year period to take it (the next time I can take it is in December 2010) and really focus on getting into the school of my choice (USC or Loyola I am not picky)
3. Continue to work and really center myself again, and continue the grind, and find what made me so excited about this job when I started nearly 2 years ago. What made me choose it over Fox which provided me a great track to a legal career in starting at the beginning. I need to release those things and see where it takes me.
4. Get a Master's degree at USC. The application for it is due July 1st, but I am intending to turn it in by May 1. This program, Communication Management sounds like an awesome program with a track in Policy and Law and the law they focus on is Intellectual Property so focus on media law which is perfect. It will definitely expose me more to the field, I really want to shape and craft this career and rather go in blind, I want to be ready so it's something I can consider and definitely have a good chance of getting in.
5. See what the other 8 schools say, and if one offers me a spot, take it! This is what I am waiting on, there are 5 schools in California on the line, 2 in Michigan, and Notre Dame (why is that rejection letter taking forever)
Now I am left with several opportunities to choose but I got one shot to pursue any of them because this is the right time for it to happen. For the past 2 days, I have been thinking what is best for me and this is what I came up with:
I want to live a life of excitement and fulfillment where I am challenged and pushed to the limits to respond to them. I want to learn and know everything I can about the world in a narrow focus and in this case, law. I want to be happy, I want to be proud of what I have done. I want my family to be healthy and happy so they can share this with me. I want to stay connected to my friends I have had for so long and new ones I am just starting to discover and learn more about so I can share my life with them. Furthermore, I want a certain someone to not be afraid of me or really our friendship, I want this person to be challenge and to take advantage of all their opportunities, I want this persont to know how special they made me feel and despite everything that has happened, they still manage to do this for me. Most of all, I want to get to know myself a little better, I feel like along the way I forgot to give that quality time.