aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
i need a break from so much thats all around me ... i just want to go away for awhile and see things in different lights, diffferent perspectives, i long for things i once had like the love and comfort of a friend that i miss so dearly...my litter bug...ha...i missed her very much this weekend, she almost came down to see me but i had already planned a weekend looking for dresses with my sister... i miss our weird songs, strange faces especailly our whoo-face...the times in school when we had fifith period free right before lunch doing only God knows what...i miss almost getting kicked out of General Brown games for screaming horrible things to the boys team...but most of all i miss her laugh, this loud almost sarcastic/intoxicating noise coming her deep within her soul. the way we acted when we were together was as if no one else existed or as if we were on display for everyone to see...it was a time for laughter and a time that it was ok to fuck around and not care...unfortunatly those times are over with and now i really got to concentrate on my FUCKING life... which def sucks...i wish i could just sit around paint all day...play soccer again...smoke occacionally...ha...and just chill with friends...
i miss so much that i cant find or have anymore...strange how when we get older we lose so much of what we had and someday it just seems to slip away without or knowing...sad in a way almost like poetic irony...