5 drabbles
title: snot-nosed, poop-heads
pairing: none
genre: general/humor
summary: shinee's experiences and reactions around new babies
Jonghyun
Jonghyun stared down into those wide, curious eyes, wondering how this little monster looked so damn cute when it was obviously an evil poop machine.
“She looks like you!”
He coughed. This monster did not look like him. Sure she had his puppy eyes, lips, and ohgodshehadthosemishapednostrils, but no. She did NOT look like him.
“I don’t see it.” The baby started squirming and crying in his arms. He sighed, thinking, ‘I hate kids…always being annoying and crying all the time.’
Holding her away from him, his arms stretched far out he said, “She doesn’t like me.”
“What are you talking about?! She loves Uncle Hyun!”
Jonghyun scrunches up his nose in disgust. “Please don’t call me that, noona. I shall forever be known in her eyes as ‘The-Great-Invincible- Dinoman-That-Will-Eat-You-If-You-Piss-Him-Off.’”
His sister rolled her eyes. “I’m not telling my daughter that. She’ll be scared of you!”
He flares his nostrils at the wailing kid. “She should be scared!”
His sister laughs. “So scary, Mr. Dino. I just don’t think she’ll be intimidated by your…let’s say…lack in stature.”
He dramatically gasps. “You bitch!” Under normal circumstances, that would have earned him a slap or at the very least a stern look, but she paid no attention to him, too intent on her newborn. The feelings swarming around in Jonghyun’s head were close to jealousy---although he would never admit that a snot-nosed, poop head got him jealous because he was no longer his sister’s only attention….
“You’re still my baby brother.”
He looked up at his sister. “…ne”
She smiles sweetly and opens her arms. “Come here.”
He trudges over, sitting on the edge of the bed precariously. “…what?”
“I love you Hyun-ah.”
“…love you too noona.”
Key
Key was beyond thrilled. Not only did he have a whole 2 days off but he got to see his cousin and her new baby! He loved children so much his ovaries would be bursting if he had them. He had dreams of his own kids, little Gwiboonie was his first born, having planned her for years. She had a perfect little nose, his brilliant eyes, structured face, and just a perfect little angel for a perfect daddy. He half hoped his cousin’s baby could be blessed with half of what his dreams predicted.However, fate was not kind.
This was truly one of the ugliest babies he had ever seen.
Her ears were big and stuck out, her eyes were nearly nonexistent, her head was round and she just was not a cute baby.
Key blamed the father for the misfortunate looks. Too bad he wasn’t the daddy, the girl would have been born a goddess!
“She’s so cute!” he lied with a bright smile. He couldn’t tell his cousin that her baby was hideous and made his skin crawl. He smiled again and handed her back before leaving.
He had better things to do. There was a spa with his name on it.
Onew
He was twenty-three years old. TWENTY-THREE! What on earth possessed his parents to believe that NOW he needed a sibling? It must be the water. They were sane a year ago. Nevertheless, Onew found himself with a new baby brother, a chubby little ball with no eyes. He was adorable.
Anyone who watched Hello Baby would know that Onew was not a kid person. It wasn’t that he hated them or anything; he just knew that Onew Sangtae would kick in and he’d kill it. Maybe that’s an exaggeration, but he wouldn’t take the risk.
So when his mother insisted he hold baby “Jinyoung” he immediately declines, feigning illness. Too bad his mother didn’t believe that. The boy was pushed into his arms and he prayed he wouldn’t drop him.
He had to admit it, they looked identical. So much in fact, he was sure that people would mistake him for his son, not his brother.
He flinched. A child of his own. He already felt bad for it. Years of torment for having no sense of balance and bad humor.
Onew looked back down at his brother.
Then again, this kid has some of his genes too. So he’s not any better off. From that moment on, Jinki vowed to be a good big brother and protect his sibling.
“I won’t let anyone hurt you. Not even myself.”
Taemin
“It was an ‘oopsie.’” Taemin had to laugh at that. His brother, Taesun, did seem to have the worst of luck. He looked up to his hyung but he couldn’t help but feel a bit sorry for him.
When Taemin first heard his hyung got a girl pregnant he thought he was being pranked-he didn’t even think his brother would lose his virginity until he was 40! Okay that’s mean…30 then.
The kid was cute, he supposed. ‘I was cuter’
A bit noisy. ‘Won’t be a singer’
Pooped A LOT. ‘Gross.’
Ate a lot. ‘That comes from our side of the family.’
He poked his chubby little cheek, making the baby start to cry shrilly. Startled, he backed away.
“YOU HURT ME!”
Taemin spun around. “Who said that?!”
“I did stupid!”
He looked down at the baby. “No way…” Did the kid really just talk? Taemin must be more tired than he thought or…. His hyungs were right! He could speak baby!!
Around the corner, his brother laughed quietly.
Minho
Jealousy. There were babies everywhere!!!
Onew ’s brother was born in June. Then Jonghyun’s niece in September. Taemin’s hyung’s son in October, and now Key’s cousin had a baby! Where was his little bundle of joy?!
His brother, Minseok, was dating but he wouldn’t hold his breath for a mistake happening; his hyung was too driven for perfection to let that happen. His parents? No way. He recalled a time back when he was 10 when he asked for a baby sister. They said, “Not a chance in Hell.” He assumed those feelings have yet to change. He wasn’t really close to any of his cousins and he didn’t know of anyone else expecting.
He could mooch off the others but he felt like that would be rude.
There was only one other option.
Make himself his own baby.
pairing: none
genre: general/humor
summary: shinee's experiences and reactions around new babies
Jonghyun
Jonghyun stared down into those wide, curious eyes, wondering how this little monster looked so damn cute when it was obviously an evil poop machine.
“She looks like you!”
He coughed. This monster did not look like him. Sure she had his puppy eyes, lips, and ohgodshehadthosemishapednostrils, but no. She did NOT look like him.
“I don’t see it.” The baby started squirming and crying in his arms. He sighed, thinking, ‘I hate kids…always being annoying and crying all the time.’
Holding her away from him, his arms stretched far out he said, “She doesn’t like me.”
“What are you talking about?! She loves Uncle Hyun!”
Jonghyun scrunches up his nose in disgust. “Please don’t call me that, noona. I shall forever be known in her eyes as ‘The-Great-Invincible- Dinoman-That-Will-Eat-You-If-You-Piss-Him-Off.’”
His sister rolled her eyes. “I’m not telling my daughter that. She’ll be scared of you!”
He flares his nostrils at the wailing kid. “She should be scared!”
His sister laughs. “So scary, Mr. Dino. I just don’t think she’ll be intimidated by your…let’s say…lack in stature.”
He dramatically gasps. “You bitch!” Under normal circumstances, that would have earned him a slap or at the very least a stern look, but she paid no attention to him, too intent on her newborn. The feelings swarming around in Jonghyun’s head were close to jealousy---although he would never admit that a snot-nosed, poop head got him jealous because he was no longer his sister’s only attention….
“You’re still my baby brother.”
He looked up at his sister. “…ne”
She smiles sweetly and opens her arms. “Come here.”
He trudges over, sitting on the edge of the bed precariously. “…what?”
“I love you Hyun-ah.”
“…love you too noona.”
Key
Key was beyond thrilled. Not only did he have a whole 2 days off but he got to see his cousin and her new baby! He loved children so much his ovaries would be bursting if he had them. He had dreams of his own kids, little Gwiboonie was his first born, having planned her for years. She had a perfect little nose, his brilliant eyes, structured face, and just a perfect little angel for a perfect daddy. He half hoped his cousin’s baby could be blessed with half of what his dreams predicted.However, fate was not kind.
This was truly one of the ugliest babies he had ever seen.
Her ears were big and stuck out, her eyes were nearly nonexistent, her head was round and she just was not a cute baby.
Key blamed the father for the misfortunate looks. Too bad he wasn’t the daddy, the girl would have been born a goddess!
“She’s so cute!” he lied with a bright smile. He couldn’t tell his cousin that her baby was hideous and made his skin crawl. He smiled again and handed her back before leaving.
He had better things to do. There was a spa with his name on it.
Onew
He was twenty-three years old. TWENTY-THREE! What on earth possessed his parents to believe that NOW he needed a sibling? It must be the water. They were sane a year ago. Nevertheless, Onew found himself with a new baby brother, a chubby little ball with no eyes. He was adorable.
Anyone who watched Hello Baby would know that Onew was not a kid person. It wasn’t that he hated them or anything; he just knew that Onew Sangtae would kick in and he’d kill it. Maybe that’s an exaggeration, but he wouldn’t take the risk.
So when his mother insisted he hold baby “Jinyoung” he immediately declines, feigning illness. Too bad his mother didn’t believe that. The boy was pushed into his arms and he prayed he wouldn’t drop him.
He had to admit it, they looked identical. So much in fact, he was sure that people would mistake him for his son, not his brother.
He flinched. A child of his own. He already felt bad for it. Years of torment for having no sense of balance and bad humor.
Onew looked back down at his brother.
Then again, this kid has some of his genes too. So he’s not any better off. From that moment on, Jinki vowed to be a good big brother and protect his sibling.
“I won’t let anyone hurt you. Not even myself.”
Taemin
“It was an ‘oopsie.’” Taemin had to laugh at that. His brother, Taesun, did seem to have the worst of luck. He looked up to his hyung but he couldn’t help but feel a bit sorry for him.
When Taemin first heard his hyung got a girl pregnant he thought he was being pranked-he didn’t even think his brother would lose his virginity until he was 40! Okay that’s mean…30 then.
The kid was cute, he supposed. ‘I was cuter’
A bit noisy. ‘Won’t be a singer’
Pooped A LOT. ‘Gross.’
Ate a lot. ‘That comes from our side of the family.’
He poked his chubby little cheek, making the baby start to cry shrilly. Startled, he backed away.
“YOU HURT ME!”
Taemin spun around. “Who said that?!”
“I did stupid!”
He looked down at the baby. “No way…” Did the kid really just talk? Taemin must be more tired than he thought or…. His hyungs were right! He could speak baby!!
Around the corner, his brother laughed quietly.
Minho
Jealousy. There were babies everywhere!!!
Onew ’s brother was born in June. Then Jonghyun’s niece in September. Taemin’s hyung’s son in October, and now Key’s cousin had a baby! Where was his little bundle of joy?!
His brother, Minseok, was dating but he wouldn’t hold his breath for a mistake happening; his hyung was too driven for perfection to let that happen. His parents? No way. He recalled a time back when he was 10 when he asked for a baby sister. They said, “Not a chance in Hell.” He assumed those feelings have yet to change. He wasn’t really close to any of his cousins and he didn’t know of anyone else expecting.
He could mooch off the others but he felt like that would be rude.
There was only one other option.
Make himself his own baby.