this is the anthem throw all your hands up
i'm bored...so i'm here
i have a bit of sociology homework i have to do but it can wait.
i'm watching mothman prophecies in a few minutes, so exciting so exciting.
i wasnt in the best of moods today, its hard to explain i wasnt like pissed off or sad just there ya know?
anyway the reason i was put in this out of body mood is because of this new girl to our school
i met her awhile back and she remembers me.
anyway she is very depressing and so self hating
she htinks shes fat, she thinks everyone is constantly giving her dirty looks and that everyone hates her and she is ugly and doesnt fit in
it jsut drives me insane
sometimes i am very much in love with this mood.
you know the times you step back yer there, yer conscious but it feels liek your looking at everything thats going on around you, kinda like a movie...well thats how everyone describes it but thats not true
its more like you're there watching things passby
like those scenes from movies where the main character is frozen and everyhting and everyone around them is moving. Or when the main character is the only one not frozen.
Sometimes i get the feeling that i am moving in reeeeeally slow motion as the people and htings in the world pass by at a hurried pace
Its moving so fast it makes my head spin, maybe thats why family ahs become more important in recent years to people. The hustle and bussle of life, finances, technology the ever changing world around us
Family is he only source of stability and familiarity in the world today.
Not that i have a close connection with my faily, cause i dont, at all.
But i have noticed that i am becoming closer with people in general.
The reason i like this mood, *sometimes* is because if your standing back, the only thing frozen amidst the rapid commotion of the people and things around you, your brain is clear. You can breathe truly, step back and think. Other times when i'm in this mood, such is the case right now, i feel sluggish and can't seem to get a hold of anything
i feel downright stupid, very confused and unable to make sense of why i am feeling this way and why everyone is so fucking stupid.
I dont think anyone truly understands themselves and the ones who do are completely full of shit. There are glimpses in ones life which help one to understand who they are, what thier about and why they are thinking the things they think, but just glimpses. And those only happen periodically, the times when u have the 'out of body' mood. that is when you can figure yourself out. After that feeling leaves though, you have to start at the bottom of the pyramid and try and work your way up.
I think that children and people suffering from mental anguish/illness have the bets understanding of whats going on with themselves, and the world around them.
Children have that innnocence. Its almost like a divine outlook on life. Many people mistake children for being niave and unexperienced, but i think children deserve more credit.
Children can endure the worst of conditions and always jump back
Their resilience keeps them level headed. Children complain, so does everyone, but thats over stupid little stuff like not getting a toy. But i have never heard a child complain of being abused or neglected. Children liek that have a alot of time to think and better themselves.
I'm not saying all children have a better understanding of themselves then most adults but i think that they are closer to understanding than older people. Things are simplier when your a child and maybe thats why it is easier for them to make sense of their minds. Children can also easily express themselves.
People suffering from break downs and such i think also have a closer connection with themselves. I'm not tlaking about the paranoid 'theres consipiracies EVERYWHERE' freaks but people who have reached rock bottom and are at the stage where theres nowhere to go but up or to off themselves
these people have done so much thinking, have had so many sleepless nights that their vision of everything has been distorted. Once they reach that stage of rock bottom and finally are capable of getting back to the top, thats when they understand themselves, thats when it all comes together.
Once they get back up though the vicious cycle continues to spin.
Which is sad, no one person can ever truly be self fulfilled without understanding oneself.
i'm rambling, i can probably guarentee that none of this will make sense tomorrow or even 5 minutes from now if i go to re-read it..
strike these thoughts from the record, please dont think i am a basket case.
i have a bit of sociology homework i have to do but it can wait.
i'm watching mothman prophecies in a few minutes, so exciting so exciting.
i wasnt in the best of moods today, its hard to explain i wasnt like pissed off or sad just there ya know?
anyway the reason i was put in this out of body mood is because of this new girl to our school
i met her awhile back and she remembers me.
anyway she is very depressing and so self hating
she htinks shes fat, she thinks everyone is constantly giving her dirty looks and that everyone hates her and she is ugly and doesnt fit in
it jsut drives me insane
sometimes i am very much in love with this mood.
you know the times you step back yer there, yer conscious but it feels liek your looking at everything thats going on around you, kinda like a movie...well thats how everyone describes it but thats not true
its more like you're there watching things passby
like those scenes from movies where the main character is frozen and everyhting and everyone around them is moving. Or when the main character is the only one not frozen.
Sometimes i get the feeling that i am moving in reeeeeally slow motion as the people and htings in the world pass by at a hurried pace
Its moving so fast it makes my head spin, maybe thats why family ahs become more important in recent years to people. The hustle and bussle of life, finances, technology the ever changing world around us
Family is he only source of stability and familiarity in the world today.
Not that i have a close connection with my faily, cause i dont, at all.
But i have noticed that i am becoming closer with people in general.
The reason i like this mood, *sometimes* is because if your standing back, the only thing frozen amidst the rapid commotion of the people and things around you, your brain is clear. You can breathe truly, step back and think. Other times when i'm in this mood, such is the case right now, i feel sluggish and can't seem to get a hold of anything
i feel downright stupid, very confused and unable to make sense of why i am feeling this way and why everyone is so fucking stupid.
I dont think anyone truly understands themselves and the ones who do are completely full of shit. There are glimpses in ones life which help one to understand who they are, what thier about and why they are thinking the things they think, but just glimpses. And those only happen periodically, the times when u have the 'out of body' mood. that is when you can figure yourself out. After that feeling leaves though, you have to start at the bottom of the pyramid and try and work your way up.
I think that children and people suffering from mental anguish/illness have the bets understanding of whats going on with themselves, and the world around them.
Children have that innnocence. Its almost like a divine outlook on life. Many people mistake children for being niave and unexperienced, but i think children deserve more credit.
Children can endure the worst of conditions and always jump back
Their resilience keeps them level headed. Children complain, so does everyone, but thats over stupid little stuff like not getting a toy. But i have never heard a child complain of being abused or neglected. Children liek that have a alot of time to think and better themselves.
I'm not saying all children have a better understanding of themselves then most adults but i think that they are closer to understanding than older people. Things are simplier when your a child and maybe thats why it is easier for them to make sense of their minds. Children can also easily express themselves.
People suffering from break downs and such i think also have a closer connection with themselves. I'm not tlaking about the paranoid 'theres consipiracies EVERYWHERE' freaks but people who have reached rock bottom and are at the stage where theres nowhere to go but up or to off themselves
these people have done so much thinking, have had so many sleepless nights that their vision of everything has been distorted. Once they reach that stage of rock bottom and finally are capable of getting back to the top, thats when they understand themselves, thats when it all comes together.
Once they get back up though the vicious cycle continues to spin.
Which is sad, no one person can ever truly be self fulfilled without understanding oneself.
i'm rambling, i can probably guarentee that none of this will make sense tomorrow or even 5 minutes from now if i go to re-read it..
strike these thoughts from the record, please dont think i am a basket case.