(no subject)
i really shouldn't be going back to old words...but this reminded me of why and how i got myself into this mess...i tried to wish it away and turn it into a lust thing; no avail. the worst thing is (and there are so many worst things already) i went and done something that had to be done, which is the reason why i wanted to shun the whole thing altogether. i'm plagued by guilt and i'm extremely hurt and offended. i don't know how much of my behavior has to do with his, but on both of our ends, it's pretty unacceptable. i hope not to succumb again to the arsenal that is his eyes...perhaps reading this over and over again will make me realize how you can't really think straight when you are hypnotized.
it's the eyes. the intensity. the way they can make you open up. the way they ask you questions with their eyes. how they make you feel like the most interesting thing in the world. the compassion and sensitivity. the coolness, the calmness. the emotion, the vigor. the ability to know exactly what others are thinking. the desire to investigate and figure out things, logically, diligently. the complexity. yes, sometimes the enigma is boring, but you can't read a book that's never-ending. and that's hot. their tone of voice when they are too scared to tell you what they really want to say. when they get frazzled and look at you as though they might pounce at any moment. the eyes. the things they know to say when you need them to say it the most. just at the right moment. when you can't take it anymore. the reassurance. their playfulness. their seriousness. their sexiness. so sexy! their adaptability and responsibility. their ability to give and take time to think things through. the way they look at you. how you know they really do care: if you are patient and give them yourself first...even if they don't ask (they never have to). the way they think before they act (not so much speak; words get in the way of what they really want to tell you). the passion. their creativity. the electricity of their presence. their jealousy. those eyes...
it's the eyes. the intensity. the way they can make you open up. the way they ask you questions with their eyes. how they make you feel like the most interesting thing in the world. the compassion and sensitivity. the coolness, the calmness. the emotion, the vigor. the ability to know exactly what others are thinking. the desire to investigate and figure out things, logically, diligently. the complexity. yes, sometimes the enigma is boring, but you can't read a book that's never-ending. and that's hot. their tone of voice when they are too scared to tell you what they really want to say. when they get frazzled and look at you as though they might pounce at any moment. the eyes. the things they know to say when you need them to say it the most. just at the right moment. when you can't take it anymore. the reassurance. their playfulness. their seriousness. their sexiness. so sexy! their adaptability and responsibility. their ability to give and take time to think things through. the way they look at you. how you know they really do care: if you are patient and give them yourself first...even if they don't ask (they never have to). the way they think before they act (not so much speak; words get in the way of what they really want to tell you). the passion. their creativity. the electricity of their presence. their jealousy. those eyes...