(no subject)
I wish I knew where my book was. I don't want to start a new one.
I am not inspired. He doesn't inspire me. I need a muse.
I just barrel into things, without thinking. At times, it is a good thing. Until it becomes quiet and I get a moment with myself and I think, what am I doing? I second guess myself. I have no trust in myself, faith. I question my motives and then question why i question them. I don't tell the whole story. I leave things out. Is that considered lying? I guess so. I am deceiving, with the intent to do so. But it's never malicious, ever. I'm trying to protect myself.
The only time i truly feel free is when i dance.
I know, I know i need to be alone. I need my own space. For some reason January keeps playing in my brain. when i broke it off with scott there was a moment of clarity in my life. But i just fell into the same thing. Ignoring it doesn't make it go away. My mom knows and she keeps pushing my gently. I hear her, really I do. I am just not listening.
There's so much more to say but it just doesn't seem worth it. I already know what i need to do.
I am not inspired. He doesn't inspire me. I need a muse.
I just barrel into things, without thinking. At times, it is a good thing. Until it becomes quiet and I get a moment with myself and I think, what am I doing? I second guess myself. I have no trust in myself, faith. I question my motives and then question why i question them. I don't tell the whole story. I leave things out. Is that considered lying? I guess so. I am deceiving, with the intent to do so. But it's never malicious, ever. I'm trying to protect myself.
The only time i truly feel free is when i dance.
I know, I know i need to be alone. I need my own space. For some reason January keeps playing in my brain. when i broke it off with scott there was a moment of clarity in my life. But i just fell into the same thing. Ignoring it doesn't make it go away. My mom knows and she keeps pushing my gently. I hear her, really I do. I am just not listening.
There's so much more to say but it just doesn't seem worth it. I already know what i need to do.