Living an Updated Life
Sorry I haven't been on here in awhile. I have been reading everyone's posts just haven't posted much myself.
First a couple of crappy things:
We have decided to walk away from our house. There is just no possible way we can catch up with the payments and pay for the repairs that need to happen to stay here. Thankfully there is another option for us, our previous home, it also needs some work but not nearly on the level this one does and it is paid for.
Rich and I have also not really made any decisions about our future together. I love him very much but at this point I find it unlikely we will be together for very long. We are already much closer to roommates and very good friends (who happen to sleep in the same bed) then we are partners or lovers. It makes me sad but the drifting apart has been happening for so long that it hardly feels like a shock at all.
And now some good things:
I have made/remade some connections with friends lately that had been slipping away. I look back on the last 12-13 years of my life and I am just amazed at all the love I have found and how many people I have met who changed me drastically.
I am trying to get in shape. I don't weigh myself (a long story which basically boils down to not feeling I need a number on a scale to estimate my value) so I have no idea how much I have lost but it is a goodly amount I think. The best part is that I feel really good. I have decided to embrace the Everyday Systems approach which, to me, seems much more like common sense then anything else. I am on day 4 (i think, maybe 3) of not drinking soda. This is a major thing for me because it is not unusual for me to drink 10 cans of Pepsi a day. I have been hiking/ranging a lot lately. Yesterday I ranged 7.29 miles on accident, I just went. It makes me really proud because at the beginning of summer I struggled with 2-1/2 miles. I am trying to eat more sensibly. No snacks or sweets (something I ate little of anyways), smaller portions, and no seconds. The "no seconds" is something that is hard for me. I am used to eating until I can't eat no more. But it doesn't feel like a struggle. This weekend I plan to buy a sledgehammer to begin a Shovelglove routine starting Monday.
The boy I have been crushing on, the same one from the campground -- for those of you who had access and the guts to read that story, and I have spoken a couple of times about us. As I knew, he is not interested in anything more then friendship with me but also assures me that he is not embarrassed or uncomfortable with my feelings towards him. I wish I could tell you that I was getting over it but, honestly, I really am not. I think about him constantly and struggle not to call him or Facebook him all the time. I am not madly in love with him, it is just a crush and I am well aware of that. In truth, it feels kind of good to have feelings like this after so long and I have a feeling that one of the reasons I keep holding on to it is exactly because it has been so long.
Work has been really great. I received a promotion of sorts, though with only a 25 cent raise, to be the new Entertainment Specialist for the store. That means it is my job each week to prepare the store for new releases of music, movies, and books and then, on Tuesdays, assure said new releases are available when the store opens. I also am now officially full time working a mostly 5 day work week. I was also told today that leadership has marked me as the "Store Hero of the Month" which is really nice. The best part though, and I know this is directly related to the other changes I have made/am making in my life, is that after nearly 2 years of not working and several years before that of being unhappy where I worked I finally feel like I am in a place which really honors the work ethic, dedication, and intelligence I bring to the table. It has really made my confidence soar. They are already asking me to consider applying for a team leader position in a year or so and that is something I really would be interested when/if the time was right.
Finally, the Grove seems to have turned a corner. I feel like we are communicating much better and I am really looking forward to seeing what the new officers can bring to the table. It has been a pretty rough patch but I feel as if things are looking up.
Until Then and Always
~ Jamie
First a couple of crappy things:
We have decided to walk away from our house. There is just no possible way we can catch up with the payments and pay for the repairs that need to happen to stay here. Thankfully there is another option for us, our previous home, it also needs some work but not nearly on the level this one does and it is paid for.
Rich and I have also not really made any decisions about our future together. I love him very much but at this point I find it unlikely we will be together for very long. We are already much closer to roommates and very good friends (who happen to sleep in the same bed) then we are partners or lovers. It makes me sad but the drifting apart has been happening for so long that it hardly feels like a shock at all.
And now some good things:
I have made/remade some connections with friends lately that had been slipping away. I look back on the last 12-13 years of my life and I am just amazed at all the love I have found and how many people I have met who changed me drastically.
I am trying to get in shape. I don't weigh myself (a long story which basically boils down to not feeling I need a number on a scale to estimate my value) so I have no idea how much I have lost but it is a goodly amount I think. The best part is that I feel really good. I have decided to embrace the Everyday Systems approach which, to me, seems much more like common sense then anything else. I am on day 4 (i think, maybe 3) of not drinking soda. This is a major thing for me because it is not unusual for me to drink 10 cans of Pepsi a day. I have been hiking/ranging a lot lately. Yesterday I ranged 7.29 miles on accident, I just went. It makes me really proud because at the beginning of summer I struggled with 2-1/2 miles. I am trying to eat more sensibly. No snacks or sweets (something I ate little of anyways), smaller portions, and no seconds. The "no seconds" is something that is hard for me. I am used to eating until I can't eat no more. But it doesn't feel like a struggle. This weekend I plan to buy a sledgehammer to begin a Shovelglove routine starting Monday.
The boy I have been crushing on, the same one from the campground -- for those of you who had access and the guts to read that story, and I have spoken a couple of times about us. As I knew, he is not interested in anything more then friendship with me but also assures me that he is not embarrassed or uncomfortable with my feelings towards him. I wish I could tell you that I was getting over it but, honestly, I really am not. I think about him constantly and struggle not to call him or Facebook him all the time. I am not madly in love with him, it is just a crush and I am well aware of that. In truth, it feels kind of good to have feelings like this after so long and I have a feeling that one of the reasons I keep holding on to it is exactly because it has been so long.
Work has been really great. I received a promotion of sorts, though with only a 25 cent raise, to be the new Entertainment Specialist for the store. That means it is my job each week to prepare the store for new releases of music, movies, and books and then, on Tuesdays, assure said new releases are available when the store opens. I also am now officially full time working a mostly 5 day work week. I was also told today that leadership has marked me as the "Store Hero of the Month" which is really nice. The best part though, and I know this is directly related to the other changes I have made/am making in my life, is that after nearly 2 years of not working and several years before that of being unhappy where I worked I finally feel like I am in a place which really honors the work ethic, dedication, and intelligence I bring to the table. It has really made my confidence soar. They are already asking me to consider applying for a team leader position in a year or so and that is something I really would be interested when/if the time was right.
Finally, the Grove seems to have turned a corner. I feel like we are communicating much better and I am really looking forward to seeing what the new officers can bring to the table. It has been a pretty rough patch but I feel as if things are looking up.
Until Then and Always
~ Jamie